Their Demons
by HelAuditore
Summary: You can try and flee from your demons but they'll always come back knocking at your door, trying to ruin your life and drag you back to rock bottom. Anders and Mitchell both have their demons to fight, will they be able to defeat or at least bury them in a dark pit, where they'll do less damage? - OGAV sequel, WARNINGS: Slash, sex, violence, language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Wow, I've actually started this... It's going to be tough to live up to the expectations of you all, but I really hope that I'll make it! I still don't know precisely where this is going, but I'll do my best to come up with a good ending. I might take a while to update this story every time, but again, I'll try to do my best.

If I am here today, posting this I owe it all to the people that have read Of Gods and Vampires, leaving wonderful comments and being generally amazing. I have to thank especially my girlfriend, who's my eternal supporter and bears with me and my angsty moments, BETAs my stuff and gives me precious advices, and my friends Mari and Heather who are great fans of OGAV and have given me nice ideas and suggestions for this sequel.

So yeah, I still don't know what's gonna happen but here we go, enjoy this first chapter and don't forget to let me know what you think about it ;)

* * *

_When you're here, I don't know where you are  
__I don't know were you've been  
__There must be a reason why I'm beneath this jealous sky  
__I don't need anyone to tell  
__why I make my life this hell  
I__t's only you and I, underneath this jealous sky_

**Jealous Sky; Negative.**

* * *

**Chapter 1.**

Love isn't _just_ about the constant heartthrob, the fluttering of butterfly wings in the pit of your stomach when your lover is close to you, or the need to constantly make love to them. It isn't about finding your flawless prince charming or your absolutely perfect princess, because if utter perfection is what you're after then sorry, your princess is in another castle, one that doesn't exist: no one is perfect.

Love is about finding that person that once they've seen you at your worst won't run away, the person that will pick you up once you've fallen and help you medicate your wounds. That person that will love all your qualities and tolerate your flaws, the one who will encourage your passions and that would never want to see you become empty and shallow for whatever reason.

Your imperfect prince or princess that will only make you and your life better and stick with you through thick and thin, hold your hand in times of need and never ever leave your side – unless you need some space and well, in that case they'll give it to you, knowing that they're not the problem.

And well, all of the above... Mitchell and Anders had it.

After the ceremony in which Gaia became Idunn, Anders and Mitchell spent a whole week without seeing the other gods; they went to work during the day and got wasted in pubs and clubs whenever they got the chance.

Mitchell was still struggling with his withdrawals and nightmares, the episodes got weaker and less frequent with time, but they were still there and the stress of the whole situation didn't help.

Anders wasn't exactly doing better, he had started having nightmares himself, nightmares that he didn't want to talk about but had him waking up in the middle of the night; he was snappier than usual and a little paranoid, always looking over his shoulder; he also had visions, visions that he didn't tell Mitchell about, of course, but he kept seeing Gaia in random places and at random times, trying to seduce him. There was this urge, deep in his gut, the urge to have Gaia, take her, but both his heart and brain knew better and he genuinely thought that he could overcome that.

Anders loved Mitchell, loved him more than he cared to admit, more than he had ever loved anyone or anything else in his whole life and royally screwing up again because of godly matters was the last thing he wanted; he also loved his brothers, even if he had his own particular way to show it, and sure as hell he didn't want to hurt Axl's feelings.

Anders was breaking, slowly crumbling inside, refusing to open up with the man he loved, too scared to lose him and not understanding that he was making it worse by bottling it all up like that.

Mitchell knew that something was wrong, he knew it by the moment they had got back home from the woods, Anders was an open book to him and Mitchell could see it in his vacant eyes, in the way he flinched at every small noise, sometimes even Mitchell's attentions startled him.

They both tried not to think about it, telling themselves that it was just a bad moment and trying to go on with their lives, but things weren't getting better, they were only getting worse and Anders felt himself slip to rock bottom, subtly dragging Mitchell down with him.

The couple was avoiding the subject, desperately trying not to see the truth, but one night Mitchell couldn't keep silent anymore: They had made love, frantically, desperately, as if they were both scared to see the other vanish from their arms, but there was this void in Anders' eyes that hurt Mitchell more than a thousand spikes to his chest.

"We need to talk," the vampire started as he sat with his back pressed against the bedpost, he wasn't looking at Anders, too scared of what he could have seen there. Anders felt his throat clench and his stomach twist in fear.

"Yeah?" was all he could manage to say before he sat up next to Mitchell. The vampire gathered up all his courage, took a deep breath and looked at Anders.

"I need to know what or who do you think about when you're with me, 'cause-" Mitchell paused, unable to go on because of a lump that had formed in his throat. Anders shut his eyes for a moment, swallowing thickly as he waited for Mitchell to go on. "-'cause you seem so distant, no matter how close you are, and it's doing my head in," Mitchell shook his head, choking back a sob.

"John, if I am here with you it's because I want _you_, and I love _you_," Anders looked at Mitchell, and he had never been more sincere in his whole life, but Bragi was inside him, fighting to prevail. "I don't give a shit about Gaia, she's my brother's girlfriend for fuck's sake!"

Mitchell wanted to believe him, but he had seen it happen before and now he wasn't so sure that they could overcome this. "You don't seem to like it when I touch you, anymore," Mitchell shrugged as he finally let it all out "it's like your mind is somewhere far away from here, you're in my arms but... Not really."

Anders widened his eyes slightly. It was true, he irrationally thought about her more than he could endure and it was driving him insane because he didn't care about her, didn't have feelings for her, yet he was completely obsessed. "Don't be ridiculous, I am here, I am with you and I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else," and he wasn't lying, not exactly, because Anders wanted Mitchell, it was Bragi who had different opinions. He moved a hand up to stroke Mitchell's cheek and temple, before he leaned in to kiss his neck "I'm gonna show you how much I want you," he whispered against his ear.

"It's no use if you force yourself to do it," Mitchell tried to keep a straight voice, but it was hard to do so when Anders' tongue was flicking at all the right spots on his neck.

"Oh trust me, it's not forced at all," Anders smirked against Mitchell's wet skin as his hand sneaked under the covers to wrap around Mitchell's cock.

"Anders, don't," Mitchell's voice was almost a whisper, and it definitely hadn't convinced Anders who began to stroke him back to life, "Anders, don't do this," Mitchell was growling now, and Anders stopped to look at him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he scowled, Mitchell snorted.

"I don't want more sex, not now," his expression was stern and Anders couldn't reply, not right away.

"Wh-why are you being like this? 'Cause I'm Bragi and there's another fucking Idunn around?"

Mitchell huffed and shook his head "I don't need you to give me a hand job to show me that you care about me." Anders shrugged and pursed his lips.

"Alright, want me to fuck you, then?"

Mitchell flared his nostrils and licked his lips "Sure, that'll help," he nodded "especially since that's exactly what Idunn and Bragi wanna do."

"Are you suggesting we don't fuck anymore?" Anders arched up a brow and Mitchell rolled his eyes.

"No, that's not what I meant, but a shag doesn't exactly prove that you love me."

"But we don't _shag_ anymore, John, we _make love_," now, Anders might have been Bragi, God of Poetry, but he rarely spoke like that, even to Mitchell, and that's why the vampire knew that he meant it.

"I am sorry, I-" Mitchell started, lowering his gaze "I know that this thing is not your fault, and I know that you don't want things to be like when you met Helen."

Anders' expression softened as the vampire spoke and nodded slightly "Thank you." Mitchell didn't say anything, he just looked at Anders with huge, apologetic eyes "Don't give me the sad puppy look," Anders scowled at him but then gave up, groaning and pulling Mitchell in a kiss.

"You should have been a different god," Mitchell spoke between kisses, cupping Anders' cheek as he sucked softly on his bottom lip.

"Or you should have been Idunn."

Mitchell chuckled "Right, god of apples and fucking Bragi's brains out." Anders pulled back with a completely straight expression.

"No but think about how perfect it would be!"

Mitchell scowled "You can't be serious, there's just no way something like that could ever happen, and I'm a vampire, technically I'm dead and my soul belongs to the Devil," he shrugged "and I don't think you could like... Transfer and force a godly soul into someone else."

"But what if you could?" Anders insisted and Mitchell rolled his eyes.

"In the unlikely possibility that this could be done then yeah, of course I'd be your apple guy," the vampire shrugged and Anders laughed.

"Okay, apple guy," Anders smirked and kissed him again "I shall look into it."

Mitchell sighed, knowing that it was already a lost cause, but he didn't want to upset Anders any further "Okay, can you look into me, now?" he smirked and Anders cocked a brow.

"Oh, someone needs attentions," he teased as he moved to straddle Mitchell's lap "wanna be my horse, for now?" the vampire replied with an attempted neigh that had the both of them in hysterics for a good five minutes.

When their laughter had softened into giggles and finally died down, Mitchell combed his long fingers through Anders' hair, licking his lips as he finally decided to speak "You know, I think we should end the hermitage, you need to see your brothers."

Anders grimaced but didn't complain much "We probably should, yeah," his fingers drawing nonsense on Mitchell's chest, as he spoke "we don't have to hide, and it's stupid to pretend like Axl and Gaia don't exist, right?" Anders didn't know if he actually believed in his own words, but he did look up at Mitchell to see if he agreed with him.

"Exactly, there's no point in being like this. We're all adults, we know where we stand. Axl and Gaia have their own relationship, we have ours," Mitchell shrugged as he smiled down at his boyfriend. Anders smiled himself, he couldn't believe how positive the vampire was being and he couldn't help but tip his head up to capture Mitchell's lips in yet another soft kiss.

"I like it when you talk about our relationship," Anders smirked and nudged Mitchell's nose with his own, tearing a chuckle from the vampire.

"You always say that," Mitchell ran his fingers through Anders' hair again, massaging the back of his head softly "you should talk about that, too."

"What the fuck? I do talk about our relationship, I love our relationship!" Anders shrugged as he scowled up at his boyfriend "In fact, I plan on staying in this relationship forever," he smirked, receiving a sheepish smile and an eye roll from the vampire.

"Alright, no need to act out of character, now," Mitchell sighed as he gently dragged blunt nails down the nape of Anders' neck, the blond shivered at the contact, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before he could speak again.

"I'm not acting out of character, this is what I want and you know it," Anders pressed his whole palm flush against Mitchell's chest, waiting patiently for that unnatural, every-one-minute heartbeat to thrum against his hand.

It was unbelievable that someone with a dead heart could hold so much love inside, so much kindness and care, despite all the bad deeds he had committed. What Anders still found hard to believe was that that vampire loved him and only him, how he was ready to sacrifice himself for Anders, and something that Anders found even more remarkable was that he was ready to sacrifice himself for Mitchell's sake too. It had been many years since someone had been so kind and loving to Anders, he was only a kid when his family still showed him affection, and that didn't really last long, not with an abusive father and a mother that didn't really want to cope with her four children. Mitchell was his anchor, his pillar of strength, and he would have fought tooth and nail against Bragi and that stupid, irrational attraction towards the girl that meant absolutely nothing to him.

"I know you do, it's just weird to actually hear you say so, that's all," Mitchell reassured him with a shrug.

Anders nodded, not looking up at him as he pressed a kiss on the vampire's collarbone "I know I'm a prick, but I'm trying to be a better person for you," he paused to place another kiss to Mitchell's neck "for us."

Mitchell gulped and smirked softly "Guess I'll have to get used to your corny side, now?" he teased.

Anders promptly snorted "Only for tonight, and for the other nights in which I'll feel like being a bit nicer," he grinned before biting hard on a soft spot of Mitchell's neck, making him cry out in pain.

"Ow! You fucker!" Mitchell tugged sharply on Anders' hair making him groan, but then laugh.

"See? Didn't last that long," Anders licked his lips slowly and teasingly.

"You should pay for this," the vampire grinned.

Anders sniggered "That's all I was waiting for."

–

So the hermitage officially ended when the couple woke up the morning after over two steaming cups of coffee, with the promise of meeting up after work at Mike's and see how things would have gone. Anders kissed Mitchell before leaving for work, and Mitchell lounged on the couch for a few minutes before actually gathering up the courage to text that person he hadn't heard from in a long, long time.

'_hey Ty, I know I have been a bit of an arse but I was hoping that maybe we could talk a bit? I could come round to your place, see how are you doing now that you're mortal again. I'll understand if you don't want.'_

Mitchell hesitated, his thumb hovering the send button for some moments before he muttered a curse and just hit the button. He set the cellphone down on the coffee table and stood up to at least wash the cups and dishes that had been used for breakfast, trying to keep his mind busy from the millions of bad thoughts that were poisoning his head.

What if Anders and Gaia actually fell in love?  
What if Ty didn't want to hear from Mitchell anymore, after he had disappeared like that?  
What if he was going to end up alone, all over again?  
He knew he would have lapsed, he was sure of it. Anders was his reason to stay clean, the only person worth being human for, he had already lost him once, and he didn't know what could have happened if he'd lost him again… Maybe for good.

Mitchell didn't have much time to angst over such matters, though, because his cellphone chirped with a text message and he nearly dropped the glass he was holding into the sink. He dried his hands on a rather dirty dishcloth and marched over to the coffee table to grab his cellphone.

'_you egg, how could you ever think that? I know things have been incredibly hard for both you and Anders, I understand you needed time for yourselves. I'm home right now, if you wanna drop by.'_

Mitchell couldn't hold back the chuckle that erupted from his throat, genuine and relieved, as he tapped away on the keyboard of his cell.

'_you never know, I haven't been a good friend lately. I'd love to drop by for a chat before work, see you in 20'_

Maybe Mitchell didn't actually take twenty minutes to get to Ty's, but when he finally stood in front of the door he needed to take a pointless deep breath to actually find the balls to ring the doorbell. When Ty opened the door he looked nothing like the God of everything dark and cold, he looked radiant, warm and happier than Mitchell had ever seen him.

"Whoa, did I get the wrong house?" Mitchell blinked and Ty scowled at him.

"Oh don't tell me you don't remember me, either, please…" Ty whined as he grimaced and rested his forehead against the doorframe. Mitchell laughed and shook his head, his curls were definitely longer than the last time he and Ty had seen each other, and they swayed wildly along with his head.

"Of course I remember you! We were just texting each other, you dork!" Mitchell clapped both hands on Ty's shoulders "C'mhere, mate. It's so good to see you," he smiled brightly as he pulled Ty into a tight hug that the other man returned with the same enthusiasm.

"You scared me for a moment, bro!" Ty chuckled as he patted Mitchell's back "It's great to see you, too!" he smiled, lingering into that familiar contact for a few moments. "C'mon, get in," he said as he pulled back and stepped aside to let the vampire inside the house.

"You look great, mate! Really!" Mitchell commented with a fond smile as he strode inside the loft. Ty grinned, shutting the door behind his back.

"Well I _feel_ great, now that Hod has left the building," he walked up to the kitchen, Mitchell followed him and rested against the island as he listened.

"Mate, I can only imagine how amazing it is to finally be freed if a curse," the vampire hitched himself up on the island and ran his fingers through his curls.

"It's priceless, indescribable even," Ty shrugged and grabbed the kettle, holding it up "coffee?" Mitchell raised his brows and nodded.

"Ah, yes please," he swayed his legs a little and cocked his head. Ty poured two fresh pots, handing one to the vampire.

"So um," he began, biting his lip before pushing the sugar jar towards the vampire "feel like drinking my blood, now?"

Mitchell nearly dropped his mug "What?" he said a in a tone a bit too high and a bit too loud "No, no I don't," he shrugged "I mean, it does smell nice but no, I don't feel like drinking it," he shook his head and added two spoonfuls of sugar into his coffee.

Ty couldn't help but smirk smugly as he looked down at his own mug "Should I feel flattered or?" Mitchell rolled his eyes.

"Well, do you still find me irresistible and want to get into my pants?" Mitchell asked with raised eyebrows. He mentally punched himself as soon as he spoke those words, regretting them right away. Ty choked on his sip of coffee, coughing and trying not to spit it out. "I am sorry, that was totally uncalled for, sorry," Mitchell muttered into his mug.

"Yeah, that actually was inappropriate," Ty sniggered, and Mitchell watched him blush for the first time ever, "but I'd be a liar if I said that I don't find you attractive, at all." So that time it was Mitchell's turn to choke on his coffee, making Ty laugh.

"I-I thought you loved Dawn!" Mitchell croaked out before he could clear his throat.

Ty shrugged "I do, I am in love with her, but I still got a bit of a crush on the broody vampire."

Mitchell gaped at him, in a mixture of shock and amusement, and blew into his mug "You surely have gained a lot of confidence, you're nearly as silver tongued as your brother Anders, now," Mitchell grinned as he took another sip of coffee.

Ty sniggered and shrugged "Well we are brothers, after all," he took a sip of coffee himself, then they both fell into a comfortable, blissful silence. They were happy to spend some time together after so long, and it felt nice to even just quietly drink their coffee.

It wasn't very long before Mitchell broke the silence, though, finishing off his coffee and setting the mug down on the smooth surface of the island. "So, have you seen Dawn lately?" Ty shook his head and grabbed Mitchell's mug to place it into the sink along with his own.

"Nope, not yet," Ty sighed "but I'm gonna try and swing by JPR," he tilted his head and raised his eyebrows "if Anders doesn't hate me too much." Mitchell snorted.

"He doesn't hate you," Mitchell grimaced, then quickly added with a cocked eyebrow "just don't mention the crush you still have on me," he smirked.

Ty raised his eyebrows and nodded "Oh well, that's very good advice, thank you!"

"Oh, don't mention it," Mitchell pursed his lips and nodded, then scratched his neck softly as he added "so we'll be at Mike's tonight, it'd be nice to see you there." Mitchell smiled as he looked over at the man.

"Dunno, I might? I'll see if I feel like, later," Ty smiled with a nod.

"Alright, cool," Mitchell replied as he looked down. He was itching to tell Ty about the whole Idunn and Bragi situation and how it was slowly driving him mad, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. He ran both hands nervously through his hair until Ty spoke.

"Alright, spill it. What's wrong with you?" the man asked, one of his thick brows shooting up. Mitchell sighed and shrugged a shoulder.

"Just your brother, he seems so distant lately. He denies, says he's always the same, but I feel like he's miles away from me with his head," he looked up at a confused Ty "I think it's Gaia, I mean Idunn," he frowned before scrubbing a hand over his face.

"Ah man, godly crap," Ty groaned "I am sorry to hear this, Mitch, but I know for a fact that Anders loves you," he nodded with raised brows "I mean, I can hardly believe it myself, but it's true." Mitchell had to snigger at those words.

"You have a slightly better opinion of Anders, that's cool. Because he's really nothing like the monster everyone thinks he is," he smiled fondly, his eyes lighting up as the thought about what Anders had told him the night before.

"I know he's not a monster, he acts like a prick because it's his armor against the world," Ty shrugged as he reassures Mitchell "but it really is the first time that he loves someone who isn't a relative, I can assure you that." he clapped a hand on Mitchell's shoulder and squeezed it softly.

Mitchell didn't say anything, he just grinned over at Ty before sliding off the island "Thank you, Ty. I really need to go now, but it's been lovely to see you."

"It really has," Ty smiled and nodded as he walked the vampire towards the front door.

"See you tonight, maybe?"

"Maybe, yeah."

After a last hug and a couple pats on each other's back Mitchell left Ty's flat to go to work.

–

Anders did go to work, that morning, but after a couple hours he couldn't help but trying to contact his grandfather, he needed to talk to someone, he needed some advice and he needed it fast. Anders didn't actually expect Olaf to answer his phone when he called him, but sometimes Olaf could actually act like the oracle that he was supposed to be and aid the other gods.

They met for lunch, Anders offered to pay for his grandpa, and of course he didn't refuse.

"So, what's troubling you?" Olaf asked from behind his pint of beer. Anders sucked in a deep breath and hung his head for a moment.

"I'm having visions," he started, thumb rubbing slightly at his brow.

"Never had them before?" Olaf cocked a brow and Anders shook his head "Oh, I have them all the time," his grandson snorted.

"I'm sure about that," Anders grabbed his own pint and took a sip of lager "It's Gaia, I see her everywhere, even in the streets."

"That's totally normal, it's Bragi craving for his Idunn," Olaf explained with a dramatic gesture of the hand, Anders waved his own.

"I don't believe in that bullshit, I don't crave Axl's girlfriend, I have Mitchell."

"Bragi doesn't care that you love someone else, he'll always want to nail his wife! No matter how much you hate or find her unappealing, she's the one you're gonna want." Olaf shrugged, and maybe he didn't look like it, but he was genuinely sorry for his grandson, "being a god comes with its perks, I am sorry Anders, Mitchell is a great guy, but-" he shrugged "he doesn't matter to Bragi when there's an Idunn."

Anders nearly slammed his pint into the table, suddenly boiling with rage "It was you who said that he was part of the bigger picture!" he was trying really hard not to shout, but his hands were trembling softly.

Olaf raised his brows and shrugged "That's 'cause there was still no Idunn in the picture," then he cocked his head as he added "he did make you a better person, though. He did a lot for you," he nodded. Anders flared his nostrils and shook his head.

"This is bullshit, complete bullshit."

"It might be bullshit, yes, but deep inside you know that it's true," Olaf patted his grandson's hand softly, then ordered another beer. Anders looked away, outraged.

Yes, his guts told him that he needed Gaia, as usual, but his heart and mind kept telling him that he needed to hold back and don't betray Mitchell. He looked down at the half eaten steak in his plate and pushed it aside, his appetite long forgotten as nausea took over.

"I gotta go back to work," Anders finally said as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket, scattering a few bills on the table.

Olaf scowled over at him "Really?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tonight at Mike's?" Olaf nodded and gave him a thumbs up. Anders didn't add anything and just left the pub.

–

Anders and Mitchell were supposed to meet after work at Mike's, so when Anders left Dawn to close the shop he went straight to the bar where he found his boyfriend sharing a table and a few beers with both Olaf and Ty.

"Well tonight calls for special shots or something, we haven't seen the couple of the year here for a while," Mike teased as soon as Anders walked past the threshold. The blond quirked a brow at those words.

"It's nice to see you, too, Mike," Anders wasn't completely sincere, but it didn't matter.

"Hey, babe," Mitchell flashed him a brilliant grin and both Olaf and Ty laughed as they looked up at Anders who was now standing awkwardly by the table.

"Pet names, eh? Didn't think you were the type," Ty smirked and Anders rolled his eyes, ignoring him as he walked around the table to kiss Mitchell's lips.

"You should have brought Dawn along," Mitchell suggested, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he smirked. Ty choked on his lager and Anders grinned as he squeezed Mitchell's shoulder, no matter what happened the vampire always had his back, it was insane.

"I'm sure Ty would have made a complete fool of himself, I don't want my assistant to be traumatized," Anders shrugged as he slid into the free seat beside Mitchell.

Ty was just about come up with something venomous, but the front door swung open and Axl, Zeb and Gaia strode inside the bar, freezing as a heavy, uncomfortable silence fell upon the room. Mitchell noticed the way in which Zeb's body twitched, the boy would have wanted to run up to the table and greet the vampire, but he felt like it could be seen as a betrayal by his best friend.

Axl and Gaia ignored the four people sitting at the table and walked up to the counter to greet Mike and order their first round of drinks, both hitching themselves up on the stools, followed by Zeb after a few moments.

"That's ridiculous, are they seriously avoiding us like that? Like we're not even here?" Anders pulled a face as he took a large swig of Mitchell's Corona.

"Mature," Mitchell commented as he shifted into his chair, gaze glued to Gaia and the way she only seemed to have eyes for Axl. He liked that.

"Well I am mature, unlike them, so I guess I'll have to act like an adult," Anders announced as he rose from his seat. Mitchell watched him with a quirked brow.

"Why don't you just leave it?" Ty huffed as his brother walked up to the counter.

"Hey there," Anders received a few glances but no answer, so he went on "look bro, I don't even know why you're being like this, because I really don't care about your girlfriend. She's not my type, plus you know, I already have a boyfriend, a very attractive one."

Back at the table Mitchell, Ty and Olaf didn't know whether to snigger in amusement or palm their faces in second-hand embarrassment.

"You do realize that I am standing right here, yeah?" Gaia scowled at Anders.

"Yeah, but this is mainly between my brother and I, 'cause you know," Anders shrugged as he went back to Axl "I have no desire to get into her knickers, so you can take a breath now."

Gaia snorted "I'd rather die than let you inside my knickers, you're disgusting."

Anders was just about to insult her when Axl just glared down at him, arms folded across his chest as he jerked his head towards the door "I think it's better if you fuck off, you don't wanna deal with me right now." Anders cocked a brow at the threat and Mitchell stood so quickly that he nearly knocked his chair down.

"What's the problem, Axl? We're free to stay here just like you," Mitchell half teased as he walked up to them.

"Stay out of this, Mitchell. I have nothing against you, so don't make it worse," Axl warned as he kept his gaze focused on Anders.

"Oh you don't talk to my boyfriend like this," Anders nearly growled, and Mitchell couldn't help but manifest.

"Don't play with fire, you might get badly burned," Mitchell's words were hoarse and low, probably how a lion would sound if it could talk. Axl, Gaia and Zeb flinched at the black eyes and the protracted fangs, and when Anders looked up at him he widened his eyes.

"John," he said calmly as he wrapped his fingers around Mitchell's wrist, giving it a firm squeeze to bring him back to his human side. Mitchell's pupils went back to normal and his fangs retracted as he looked down at Anders.

"Vamping out in my bar, really?" Mike couldn't help but cutting in with a growl. Mitchell's nostrils flared and his jaw clenched as he shot Axl one last glare.

"We're going, but not 'cause you said so," the vampire hissed a few inches away from Axl's face. He may have been shorter than the boy, but he had definitely gave him a fright. Anders shook his head and followed his boyfriend outside.

"I had everything under control," Anders began.

Mitchell held up a hand to cut him off "Don't even start, alright? Let's just go home, you know I hate it when these things happen."

Anders pursed his lips, he would have still wanted to justify himself but he knew that it would have been better to just keep his mouth shut, at least until he actually got back home.

Mitchell flicked the lights on as soon as he stepped into the flat, shrugging his leather coat off and hanging it on the rack. The ride back had been awfully quiet, and it was mainly because the vampire was still thinking about the things he said to Gaia. "Did you mean that?"

"What are you talking about?" Anders scowled at his boyfriend as he hung the coat on the rack himself.

"What you said to Gaia, did you mean all of that?" Mitchell clarified with his back turned on Anders, he was too scared to look into Anders' eyes. He heard the god huff, then felt his arms wrapping around his waist.

"Yes, John. I did," Anders' hands quickly found their way down to the front of Mitchell's jeans, popping the button open and pulling down the zipper. The vampire tensed up a little underneath his touch, so he pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. He slipped his hand past the waistband of Mitchell's boxers and his practiced fingers went to wrap around the vampire's cock.

"Anders," Mitchell's voice was nearly a whisper. He looked down at Anders' hand disappearing into his boxers and swallowed thickly as he steadied himself on the wall. "Is it me that you want?" another whisper, or maybe it was more of a hiss.

"I want you, John," Anders dragged blunt teeth down the back of Mitchell's neck, making him shiver and moan softly "I want you to scream my name while you fuck me," he slowly began to pump his fist along Mitchell's cock "I wanna scream your name while you make me yours," he began to suck on the crook of the vampire's neck, earning himself another moan, this time louder "and then I want you to tell me how much you love me while you come inside me."

Mitchell's knees buckled under his weight and he nearly had to use his nails to anchor himself to the wall, as he tried not to lose his balance "And you? Do you love me?" he groaned at how Anders' thumb teased his slit and underside.

"You know I do, don't make me say it," Anders' squeezed Mitchell's cock, making him growl and buck his hips "Fuck me, John," his strokes became faster and Mitchell wrapped his fingers around Anders' wrist to stop him and pull his hand out of his boxers.

"C'mhere, then," Mitchell growled as he pressed Anders into the wall and tongued his mouth open. He kissed him in a fierce, possessive way, licking inside his mouth, biting his lips then dipped his head to reach his neck. He nudged a knee between Anders' legs, and as the vampire began to suck bruises on the pale, soft skin of the god's neck, Anders started humping Mitchell's legs with small, needy moans. Mitchell's cock was stirring in his pants, angry arousal making him want to take Anders there and then, as he felt the god's erection rubbing eagerly against his strong thigh.

"Go get the lube and take your clothes off," Mitchell growled against Anders' jaw, and he didn't have to ask twice because Anders squirmed out of his hold so quickly that he nearly tripped. Mitchell sucked in a shaky breath as he tried to calm down, he was so angry and horny that he was struggling with the pointless need to bite Anders, not because he was hungry, but because he wanted to claim him like he had never done before. He couldn't do that, though, no matter how jealous he was, his mind and heart were still stronger than his instincts, so he shook those dark thoughts away and toed his shoes off before ridding himself of his jeans and boxers. When Anders came back naked with an half empty bottle of lube in his hand, he found Mitchell tangled into the two shirts he was trying to peel off of his torso.

"What are you doing, you egg?" Anders chuckled and padded up to his boyfriend to help him getting out of the shirts. Mitchell finally tossed the shirts aside and looked down at Anders through the long locks that had fallen in front of his eyes, Anders pushed back a few and handed him the bottle "There's a new one too, if we'll need it." Mitchell smirked and took the bottle from his hand, thumbing it open.

"You forget about grocery but stock up on lube like there's no tomorrow," Mitchell chuckled as he got down on his knees and poured lube on his fingers. Anders grinned down at him.

"That's 'cause I'd rather skip a meal than a root with you," Mitchell sniggered and kissed Anders' inner thigh.

"Such a flatterer," the vampire smirked up at him as he gently pulled Anders' legs apart to sneak his hand between them.

"Oh well you know me and my way with words, I-" Anders would have rambled on, but the two fingers that were suddenly pressing inside of him cut him off, making his neck arch back and hit his head into the wall as a moan tore from his throat.

Mitchell worked his fingers in and out of his boyfriend in a steady pace, while his mouth was occupied with Anders' perineum and balls, his free hand didn't remain unused as it wrapped around Anders' erection and stroked at the same rhythm of the fingers that were pumping up inside him.

"J-John!" Anders cried out, his hips stuttering incoherently as they didn't know whether to buck into Mitchell's fist or rock down onto his fingers and mouth. He was about to reach his limit, he could feel it burn at the base of his spine, making his balls contract and his tip leak lavish all over Mitchell's hand. "G-gonna come, John, _John_!" but Mitchell's thorough work stopped abruptly, making the blond cry out in frustration when long fingers slipped out of him and unwrapped from around his length. "Cruel prick!"

"You have no idea," Mitchell grinned as he rose back up to his feet, hooking his hands on the back of Anders' knees to lift him up and press him flush against the wall.

"Oh my God," Anders couldn't help but growl as he circled Mitchell's waist with his legs.

"John will do."

"That's my line!" Anders protested with a smirk, then hit his head back into the wall again when the vampire pushed him down onto his erection, "Oh, fuck!" he wrapped his arms around Mitchell's shoulders, his toes curling as he felt him thrusting hard and slow into him, tearing all kinds of groans and eager sounds from his lips.

Mitchell's fingertips dug into Anders's thighs as he held him up against the wall, his strength and stamina didn't even make his knees hurt, nor his muscles sore "Come for me, my darling, come!" he groaned against Anders' open mouth. The god couldn't say anything coherent and just moaned loudly, blunt nails scraping the skin of Mitchell's shoulders, so deeply that he nearly drew blood from those red marks.

"I'm coming, oh shit babe, I'm coming!" Anders cried out as his back arched and his hips rocked down frantically into Mitchell's, coming hard between their stomachs in thick, white streaks of pleasure, his muscles clenching tightly around his boyfriend.

Mitchell followed right after, with a couple more sloppy thrusts, growling as he wrapped both his arms tightly around Anders, his hips bucking up on their own as he rode out his own orgasm "I love you, Anders," he moaned against the god's ear "I love you." Anders' fist gripped at the hair on the back of Mitchell's head, pulling him back to look him in the eye.

"Love you, John," he pressed their lips together into a frantic, messy kiss until they were nothing more than a trembling, panting tangle of limbs.

Anders did love Mitchell, did love what they had just done, but his guts were twitching painfully and he was fighting back the knot in his throat that was making it hard for him to breathe or speak again. Bragi was rebelling, telling him that Mitchell wasn't enough, that he needed Gaia to quench his thirst, but Anders buried that voice in the back of his mind as he broke the kiss to stroke the vampire's face "Take me to bed?" he asked softly.

"'Course," Mitchell gently pulled out and promptly scooped him up again to carry him into their bedroom.

Once they were in bed they shared sleepy, lazy kisses until the vampire drifted off to sleep, Anders carefully untangled himself from Mitchell's arms and legs, quietly sliding off the bed to tiptoe into the bathroom. He held fast onto the sink, trying to take in as many deep breaths as he could, staring down at his white knuckles until he eventually looked up into the mirror and saw _her_ standing right behind him in a silk gown and nothing else. Anders choked back a cry and quickly turned around to see nothing but his own shadow projected against the wall.

"Fuck..." he scrubbed both hands over his face and forced himself to go back to bed.

_**To be continued…**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I am so glad that you guys enjoyed the first chapter and were happy to finally find the sequel! I'm updating soon because I had the outline of this chapter already written down, but the next chapter is going to come way later because I'm gonna spend a couple weeks with my girlfriend, so yeah!

Enjoy this update, guys! :)

* * *

_Trust is a word all lovers know  
The glorious art of staining souls, my darling  
We are not the ones to blame  
The more we have the more we want  
And the more it hurts our hearts, my baby  
It always ends up in tears_

**Pretending ; H.I.M.**

* * *

Nightmares kept haunting Anders' sleep, making him wake up at least three times during the night, and once he also woke Mitchell up, who found no one lying next to him in bed and saw the kitchen light on.

"Anders?" Mitchell called as he got up from the bed and walked towards the living room. Anders flinched, startled, nearly spilling the tea that he was clutching to his chest as he sat on the couch.

"I'm here," Anders turned his head to smile faintly at the vampire.

Mitchell scowled and walked up to him "All right, love?" he ran his fingers through blond curls and tilted his head in worry. The god leaned into the touch but didn't shut his eyes, he was too scared to fall asleep again and dream of Mitchell covered in other people's blood, gone mad with jealousy.

"Yeah, I think I ate something bad for dinner," Anders shrugged and looked down at the lukewarm cup of black tea in his hands.

Mitchell frowned "Aw, I'm sorry... Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked as he gently scratched the back of his boyfriend's head making him moan softly at the pleasant contact.

"Nope," Anders sighed at last "I'll come back to bed soon, though," he assured him with a nod.

"Okay," Mitchell ruffled Anders' hair slightly with a smirk, making him growl and slap his hand "Wake me up if you don't feel better, yeah?" the vampire went on.

Anders huffed and gently pushed him back towards the bedroom "Just go, okay?" he smiled softly "I'll be right with you." Mitchell nodded with a dopey smile and went back to bed.

Anders lingered at least twenty more minutes on the couch, nursing that awful tea and nearly dropping the cup when Gaia appeared next to the TV, playing with the strap of her gown.

"Leave me alone," he hissed and nearly slammed the half empty mug on the coffee table to go back to bed, himself.

Anders curled around his boyfriend, nuzzling his neck and inhaling his scent, and Mitchell sleepily slung an arm around Anders to keep him close.

"How's your stomach?" Mitchell slurred, still not completely awake.

"Better. Go back to sleep," Anders whispered as he pressed a tender kiss to the vampire's neck, Mitchell smiled softly and drifted back off.

It took Anders a while to actually fall asleep, he tried to make out Mitchell's face in the darkness, the peaceful expression he usually had during a good night of sleep, he wished he could listen to him breathe or even his heart beating steadily because that silence was absolutely deafening. He was terrified to slip, make a horrible mistake just because he couldn't control himself due to Bragi, he didn't want to lose Mitchell again for something that he wouldn't even do on purpose.

Anders sucked in a deep breath and huddled closer to Mitchell, burying his face against his neck and breathing in his scent, that mixture of musk and cologne typical of Mitchell after they had sex, that scent that smelled like home to the god. He drifted off when Mitchell finally started breathing softly and his heart thumped a few times against Anders' chest, making him fall asleep with a content smile plastered on his face.

–

When Anders' phone went off in the morning, Mitchell groaned and buried his face against Anders' neck "Who calls so early in the fucking morning?" he whined, tickling Anders with the brushing of his lips.

Anders squirmed softly and rubbed a fist against his own eye "Only an arsehole would call this early," he croaked out as he reached for his phone "so I'm guessing it's gotta be one of my brothers," Mitchell couldn't help but chuckle at that, wrapping both arms around Anders and kissing his neck. Anders scowled at his iPhone when he saw the name flashing on the screen "Axl."

Mitchell furrowed his brows and tried to take a peek at the screen himself "Really?" he shrugged a shoulder "Well answer and let's find out what he wants."

"His arse kicked," Anders snorted before answering the call "Hello?"

_"'Morning, Anders! I just wanted you to know the latest big news!"_

Anders cocked a brow at his little brother's enthusiasm "What's so important that you couldn't wait at least three more hours to tell me?" he sighed and pursed his lips in annoyance.

_"Gaia and I are engaged!"_

Anders remained silent for a few moments, squeezing his eyes shut "That's great, brother. I'm happy for you both," and he was, he really was happy to hear that, but Bragi was there, gnawing and pulling at his guts because his spouse was going to marry the wrong god.

_"Thanks, bro! We're gonna have a little celebration at Mike's tonight, so we'd love it if you and Mitchell could make it."_

Anders pursed his lips and nodded "And we'd love to be there."

_"Cool! See ya tonight, then!"_

Axl had phoned him just to rub it in his face, to let him know that Gaia was only interested in her fiancé and not him. Mitchell was looking up at him like an expectant puppy, but Anders was still completely lost in his train of thoughts and godly instincts.

"So?" Mitchell asked quirking an eyebrow. Anders looked down at him confused for a couple of moments, then suddenly snapped back.

"Axl and Gaia got engaged, they want us to join them for a little party at Mike's tonight," Anders explained in a monotone, as if he was still testing out the way it all sounded.

"That's great, isn't it?" Mitchell beamed as he braced himself on one elbow, placing his other hand on Anders' chest "Gaia wants to marry Axl, she isn't thinking about you!"

A faint smile played on Anders' lips at those words, he hated that feeling of irrational jealousy due to Axl getting married to the girl of his dreams, it wasn't normal, he loved Mitchell and couldn't care less about Gaia. "Yes, it's great news," he nodded and stretched his arm out to put his cellphone back on the nightstand. Mitchell stared at him under knitted brows, his lips tight and his jaw clenched as he tried to figure out what kind of reaction his boyfriend was having.

"You don't seem that happy?" Mitchell's voice was low and calm as he began to test him.

Anders scowled up at him, blinking "What are you on about? Of course I am happy!" then he shrugged a shoulder "I just don't really care about what they're doing, so that's why I don't look like it?"

Mitchell didn't really want to say what he was thinking, but he needed to know what was going on inside of Anders' head, even if it could have hurt him "Or maybe you're jealous because you're not the one who's gonna marry Gaia?"

"W-what?!" Anders widened his eyes, his face turning paler than normal as he stared up at Mitchell's stern expression "Of course I'm not! Why the fuck would I care about that?" his voice was at least a tone higher than his usual, no matter how hard he was trying to keep it straight "That's fucking ridiculous, I don't even care about getting married and you know it," he added just to make his point clearer.

Mitchell studied his expression for a few moments before speaking "You're lying," he moved his hand away from Anders' chest and sat up, ready to get off the bed, but Anders promptly caught his wrist, tugging on it to keep him in place.

"Fucking hell, John! Would you knock it off? I don't give a flying fuck about Gaia and you know it! Why do you have to be like this?" by that time Anders was nearly shouting in rage, his fingers gripping so tightly around Mitchell's wrist that he could leave bruises on it.

"I can tell when you're lying, and you exactly sound and look like it!" Mitchell growled as he tried to shake Anders' hand off "And you're hurting me, stop it!" the god loosened his grip but didn't let go of him yet, he didn't want Mitchell to leave the bedroom and cut off their argument just like that.

"I don't care what you think, I am not fucking lying!" Anders insisted.

"I said let go of me," Mitchell said quietly as he looked down at his wrist, Anders huffed and moved his hand away "thanks," the vampire ran his fingers through his hair, then finally looked back at Anders "I can't help my reactions, this isn't easy for me."

Anders huffed "Well, it isn't easy for me either, but I am trying my best," he shrugged "I'd appreciate it if you could believe in me a bit more, you know? That would help!"

Mitchell frowned and lowered his gaze again "I know, I'm sorry," he sighed "I'm gonna try my best, too."

"I also had a bad night, I didn't sleep that well so I'm weird because of that, too." Anders sighed as he scrubbed both hands over his face, Mitchell frowned at his words because he had completely forgotten about that.

"Shit, that's true!" the vampire reached out to caress Anders' face and the blond flinched slightly, making Mitchell's brows furrow "…Did you think I was gonna hit you?" he asked incredulous.

Anders stared at him wide-eyed for a few moments before shaking his head "I have no idea what's wrong with me, seriously, I blame it on the lack of sleep," he had actually been genuinely scared that Mitchell was going to hit him for a split second, because the nightmares were still vivid in his mind and even if he knew that Mitchell wasn't angry in that moment, the movement still startled him.

Mitchell felt like Anders was lying again, but he didn't want to be too pushy "Okay," he drew his hand back, letting it drop onto the mattress "maybe you should take the day off and get some rest, then."

Anders looked down at Mitchell's hand and covered it with his own "No, I'm alright, I can go to work," he nodded as he lifted up the vampire's hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss each knuckle softly, making him smile.

"Okay, but will you call me if you feel sick again?"

Anders nodded "Of course I will."

"Good. Can I kiss you, now?" Mitchell raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly, earning himself a puzzled look.

"Why are you asking me for permission? Just fucking kiss me when you feel like," Anders nearly snorted in annoyance.

"Well I wanted to stroke your cheek and you jumped, so…" Mitchell shrugged. Anders rolled his eyes and pulled him into a kiss, burying his fingers into Mitchell's curls and tugging softly on them.

"I know you'd never hurt me, I'm not scared of you," Anders whispered against those vampiric lips. He meant that, and also believed it, he knew that no matter the nightmares that were polluting his mind Mitchell would never hurt him.

Mitchell didn't say anything, he just rested his forehead against Anders' and sucked in a deep, soothing breath.

"_You don't wanna hurt me,_" Anders sung softly as if to prove his point, and this time Mitchell couldn't hold back the dry sob that tore from his throat. "You're not gonna start crying now, are you?" Anders asked with a cocked brow.

Mitchell shook his head and chuckled softly "I won't cry, no," he pulled back and smiled softly at him. He stared into those blue eyes that had captivated him the first time he'd seen them, he remembered exactly the confidence and sheer happiness that filled them and made them shine like sunlight over the sea, and it broke his heart to see them robbed of nearly all their joy. Anders was tired and worried, Mitchell could read it in those eyes, in the dark marks underneath them, but he could also still make out the familiar light that flickered into them only when Anders looked at him… So maybe there was still hope, after all, and Mitchell was definitely clinging to that.

Anders smirked softly "Good," he leaned in to peck at Mitchell's lips, then stretched out a bit "I should get ready," he yawned out and Mitchell couldn't help but yawn himself "I infected you!" Anders laughed softly.

"Yes, dammit!" Mitchell chuckled himself and scratched the back of his head "Want me to fix you some breakfast before you leave?"

"No, it's fine, I'll have Dawn bring something to me from the coffee shop," Anders shrugged as he got up from the bed, popping his back and neck as he stood in front of the closet to pick an outfit for the day.

"Of course," Mitchell snorted and Anders cocked a brow, turning half-way to look at Mitchell.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

Anders rolled his eyes "You know what, that snort."

"Why does Dawn have to get you breakfast from the coffee shop if I can make you some?" Mitchell asked with a shrug.

"Are we seriously having this conversation, now? You're jealous of Dawn getting me coffee and a scone?" Anders stared at him incredulous from under knitted brows.

"What? I'm not jealous of her! I am just saying that we could have breakfast together, maybe?" Mitchell explained with raised brows. He didn't even know why he had to explain himself, it wasn't a complicated concept, after all.

"Oh." Anders blinked. How couldn't he have thought about that? He seriously needed to get more sleep and stop being so jumpy and defensive. "Oh… Yeah, of course we can!" he cracked into a warm smile and nodded "I'll just take a shower in the meantime, eh?"

Mitchell licked his lips, still a bit unsure and completely confused by the god's behavior. He told himself once again that he had to hold on, Anders was going through a really though moment and Mitchell needed to be comprehensive, just like he had promised him. He nodded slowly and a small smile curled his lips "Good, go on then I'll see what I can fix us, yeah?"

"Perfect," Anders nodded and waited for the vampire to stand up himself so that they could get out of the bedroom together.

"Ah shit!" Mitchell nearly palmed his forehead as something suddenly came to his mind "I have a night shift, there's no way I can make it to the party tonight," he chewed nervously on his lip as he waited for Anders' reaction. The thought alone of Anders and Gaia in the same room made him sick to his stomach, he remembered way too vividly what it had been like to open the door of a public toilet to find his boyfriend with Helen.

Anders froze for a moment then shook his head "No, no. I am skipping myself, there's no way I am going without you. I'll stay home and relax, have an early night," once again he didn't know if he was trying to convince himself or Mitchell, but the vampire definitely seemed happy with that decision "I have some sleep catching up to do, right?"

"Okay then," he broke into one of his best toothy smiles and patted Anders' butt "I might bring you muffins in the morning," he winked and Anders grinned.

"Ooh, a hotter, darker version of Dawn, I like that," the blond teased, biting his lower lip.

"Shut up! Don't say such things!" Mitchell laughed as he slapped his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Well you both take care of me," Anders started as he rubbed the spot that Mitchell had just slapped "both tend to my every need," he tilted his head and watched as Mitchell's eyebrow shot upwards.

"Don't you think I am jealous enough? There's no need to make it worse," Mitchell deadpanned.

"But it's always nice to know how much you want me… All to yourself," Anders nearly whined as a smug grin played on his lips. The vampire rolled his eyes at that.

"Go get ready, you twat!" Mitchell groaned as he stirred his sniggering boyfriend in the direction of the bathroom.

–

Mitchell spent the whole day straightening the house only to keep his mind busy, stopping every now and then because a sharp pain in his guts would make him flinch and groan. The withdrawals were gradually getting worse with all the stress that was piling up inside him, and being constantly afraid of Anders falling in love with Gaia and leaving him was making him insane.

He was still having nightmares, some worse than others, in which Anders would rub salt in the vampire's open wounds by flaunting his perfect goddess wife, his real destiny. In some versions of the nightmares Mitchell turned extremely violent and ripped Gaia's throat out, not to feed on her but to kill her in the most painful and brutal of ways; in other versions he tore down the house in which the happy couple was living in, then went on a killing spree; there were other versions too, with different degrees of violence and self-destruction, and he ended up dying in almost every single one of them.

He had stopped waking up shouting in the middle of the night, but he had started waking up wheezing and sweating, having to make sure that he hadn't killed Anders in their sleep, because sometimes that need to claim him like no one else could and like he had never done before still poisoned his mind. It was taking Mitchell great effort and self-control to keep human, lately, he felt sick easily around blood at work, thing that hadn't happened in a while, but still he fought the beast inside and went on because he was better than that and because Anders needed him.

Bottling everything up wasn't gonna do much, keeping such secrets from Anders wouldn't have kept him safe, but Mitchell didn't want to add more pressure on him, he was already struggling enough.

The vampire had actually tried really hard to cook something nice for dinner but ended up burning it all, because no matter how much he tried to empty his head he still had too much on his mind and got too distracted. Anders had laughed when Mitchell had explained to him why the kitchen table was covered in Chinese take-away boxes and the kitchen smelled like burnt chicken, but then he had kissed him with so much passion and sweetness that Mitchell completely forgot about all their troubles for a few minutes. So that evening Mitchell went to work a little late because he and Anders had eaten spring rolls, chop suey and noodles on the couch, then lost track of time when they ended up making out while feeding each other caramel dipped strawberries.

Anders had felt great himself, while Mitchell was still there, but it had been weird and it scarily felt like the calm before the storm and he couldn't figure out why he had this horrible feeling that made his throat and stomach clench.

Everything became far too clear around an hour after Mitchell had left for work, though, when the doorbell rang and Anders opened the front door to find Gaia standing on the threshold with the guiltiest expression on her face. They stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime, then Anders broke the silence.

"What about the engagement party?" his voice came out hushed and resigned, totally not Anders-like.

"I'm not here for the conversation," Gaia said just as quietly, unable to look at him in the eye.

No, of course she wasn't.

Anders didn't say anything, he just stepped aside to let Gaia inside the flat, the lump in his throat from before had grown and it had seriously become hard to breathe.

They were surrendering to their unfair fate, they were about to betray the men they loved because there was nothing else they could do to quench that thirst they felt, to fill that irrational void inside of them.

They didn't speak because they had nothing to share, they didn't kiss because kisses are even more intimate than sex and they wanted to at least reserve those for their partners, but they had sex for hours on end, until the sun rose and made everything look even more shameful and painful.

It was around 6 am when they stopped, they were both lying in bed with the covers completely pulled up around them in awkward silence, staring at the ceiling or anywhere else that wasn't each other's eyes. Now that the moment of frenzy was over everything felt more wrong than ever, and Anders could tell that Gaia was on the verge of tears, as she kept sniffling and gulping beside him.

"You gotta go," Anders broke the silence, as blunt as he could be "It's already late, Mitchell will be here soon, so… You can use the shower but then you must go," he added as he slung an arm over his eyes, cursing himself – and especially his dick – mentally.

Gaia kept quiet and just nodded as she got up from the bed, idly covering herself with the clothes that had been scattered all around the bedroom and moved into the bathroom for a quick shower.

Anders sat up and blankly stared ahead, he had felt whole and satisfied while having sex with Gaia, but now that it was over all the guilt pooled into his chest and stomach, making him feel sick and painfully empty. Anders knew that the feeling was mutual, Bragi and Idunn had found a way to be together again regardless of their vessels' feelings, and just thinking about the way they had been driven to do that just out of sheer physical need was disgusting. He had no time to feel sorry about himself, though, he needed to get up and try to get rid of all the evidence of what happened, starting from changing the sheets and opening the windows to try and remove the stench of sex.

When Gaia stepped out of the bathroom in the same clothes from the night before, she found Anders sniffing one of the pillows and for a moment she really didn't know what to say or do.

"He will smell you," Anders muttered as he tried not to let panic take over "He will fucking smell you, I need to replace the pillows, too," he wasn't even really talking to the girl, he was thinking out loud.

"I'll be on my way, I -" Gaia started, but Anders cut her off with a huff.

"We don't really have to do this, okay? We both regret and hate this, I know. Just go, you don't have to pretend to like me, I know you hate my guts."

Gaia glared at him, flaring her nostrils "I wasn't even thinking about that, of course I hate you and I hated what we did," she grabbed her purse and slung the strap over her shoulder "this stays between us, but I'm sure you already thought so."

Anders snorted "Of course, do you think I want Mitchell to break up with me?"

"And I don't want Axl to break up with me, either!" Gaia replied in an high pitched voice.

"We're cool then, this is not gonna happen again," Anders pursed his lips and shrugged.

"Of course not," she snorted and shrugged a shoulder.

Yet another awkward silence fell upon them, because no matter how much Anders and Gaia had hated it, Idunn and Bragi were still longing for each other, and the vessels weren't exactly sure that this was the last time this was going to happen.

"I'm going," Gaia said eventually as she turned on her heels and walked out of the bedroom and Anders' flat.

"Don't let the door hit you on your way out," Anders mumbled to himself as he went back to look down at the unmade bed. He ran both hands through his hair and sucked in a deep breath, letting his eyes fall shut as he felt panic creeping back. "You can do this, Anders, c'mon." he tried to encourage himself as he began to fix the clean sheets and covers on the bed as quickly as he could. He still needed to pick up his own clothes from the floor, put them into the washing machine along with the sheets, covers and pillow cases, and finally get a shower.

Once Anders finally made it into the shower he used at least two different bath foams on his body and washed and rinsed his hair three times. He scrubbed vigorously, almost angrily at his own skin, trying to wash away the shame, the guilt and the pain he was feeling, he was terrified that Mitchell was going to find out what had happened into their room… Hell into their bed. He kept cursing and asking himself what was he thinking when he just let Gaia into their apartment, and especially why he had stolen her cellphone number while she was under the shower. There didn't have to be a second time, but the more he thought about how wrong all of that was, the more he felt Bragi screaming inside him and telling him that he needed Gaia, needed the way she felt, tasted and smelled.

"Fuck you! Leave me the fuck alone!" Anders suddenly shouted out loud and then froze under the shower spray and widened his eyes "…Great, now I am talking to myself," he groaned and rested his head against the cold, wet tiles.

"Who are you talking to?"

Anders shrieked, literally shrieked and nearly slipped and fell into the shower.

"Fuck, are you alright?" Mitchell opened the door of the shower to make sure that Anders was alright, finding him wheezing and holding onto the handler.

"Y-you gave me a fucking heart attack!" Anders growled as he turned off the water.

"I'm sorry, babe! I didn't mean to scare you!" Mitchell bit his lower lip and reached for Anders' robe, handing it to him. Anders let out a shaky sigh and shrugged on the robe, tightening it around him as if it could protect him from anything, then stepped out of the shower.

"When did you get back?" Anders asked casually, avoiding eye contact as he grabbed a towel from the rack and started rubbing his hair dry with it.

"Just now, I heard the shower so I wanted to come say hi before diving into bed," Mitchell replied with a shrug "I'm tired as fuck, I need to sleep for like three years."

Anders choked back a growl when Mitchell mentioned the bedroom, and the vampire furrowed his brows.

"Are you alright?" Mitchell asked suspicious "You don't look like you got much sleep, either. Have you felt sick again?"

Anders raised his brows "What? No, I'm peachy!" he shrugged with a nervous chuckle "Just peachy," he nodded and casually threw the towel into the laundry basket.

"Okay?" Mitchell blinked, not completely convinced, then wrapped his arms around Anders "It's too bad you gotta go to work, I would have totally loved to crash with you," he whined as he nosed at Anders' neck. The god instantly tensed up at that gesture, and Mitchell suddenly stopped as he inhaled Anders' scent. "You used a fuckload of different soaps," he wrinkled his nose "it makes my nostrils burn."

Anders let out an even more hysterical laugh and shrugged "I know, I'm an idiot… I just couldn't make up my mind on which one I wanted to use," really Anders, really? Was that the best excuse you could come up with?

"You're really weird when you're sleep deprived," Mitchell commented as he turned his boyfriend around to kiss him.

Anders felt like he had passed the test and could finally breathe again, he wrapped his arms around Mitchell's neck and was just about to completely melt into the kiss when Mitchell pulled back all of a sudden, staring at him wide-eyed under knitted brows. "W-What?" Anders asked, completely puzzled.

"What's this taste in your mouth?" Mitchell touched his own lips "This is…" he blinked several times as he tried to understand what he had just tasted into his boyfriend's mouth.

"What are you on about?" Anders asked nearly out of breath, then realized that… Shit, he hadn't brushed his teeth.

"You fucked her," Mitchell deadpanned, and Anders turned as pale as a sheet.

"W-what?!" this time Anders actually choked on his own words as he saw blind rage flickering into the vampire's eyes all of a sudden.

"You did!" Mitchell stormed out of the bathroom and walked into their bedroom where he found fresh covers on the bed and the window open wide. He really wished he had just imagined everything, but his vampiric nose had never failed him, and as he inhaled deeply he could clearly smell Gaia's scent into the room.

"John, you're tired and you're imagining things!" Anders said out loudly as he followed his boyfriend into their bedroom "No one came here! My mouth just tastes weird because I haven't brushed my teeth yet!"

Mitchell turned to him, furious "I know what your fucking mouth tastes like in the morning, and it surely does not taste like cunt!" he growled so loudly that Anders took a step back, terrified.

"John, you don't understand–" the blond started with a trembling voice.

"Don't call me John, don't even look at me!" Mitchell's voice was lower, but still threatening. He didn't know what to say but he surely knew what he had to do in that moment, and it was staying as far away as possible from Anders, so he pushed past him and strode out of the bedroom.

Anders' eyes widened as he turned around to follow him "What are you–?" he paused as he watched Mitchell shrugging on his leather coat "No, no don't leave!" he quickly padded up to him and gripped his arm tightly.

"Anders, let go of me, I don't wanna hurt you," Mitchell growled lowly as he pulled the front door open.

Anders' nostrils flared and his fingers dug into the fake leather "You wouldn't," he nearly whispered. Mitchell didn't answer and just swatted Anders' hand away before stepping out of the flat and slamming the door shut behind his back. Anders promptly pulled it open and called out for the vampire until he couldn't hear his footsteps anymore and his own throat felt sore, and that's when his knees buckled and he decided that he needed to lay down or he would have passed out on the threshold.

It was done, he had lost him again, all because Bragi couldn't keep it in his pants… _Again_, and he didn't know what to do, didn't know if he could actually reach the couch or the bed to lay down, so he shut the front door, rested back against it and let himself sink to the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead against them, letting his eyes fall shut as he started breathing deeply, he didn't want to have a panic attack, not while he was alone.

And to think that he had always done just fine alone in all those years, when Mike had practically banned him from the family, when no one really cared about him and he had to take care of himself, and now all of a sudden Mitchell had come along with his love and the acceptance of Anders' being. Dawn was right, Mitchell was probably the only person on earth that could ever deal with him, but even Mitchell had his limits and Anders always seemed to be far too good at shoving him past that thin line.

But it wasn't over yet, Mitchell might have come back and Anders needed to cling to that hope, he was going to try and call him later, when he was actually going to find the strength to stand back up and reach his cellphone. He had to try, he could fix this.

_**To be continued…**_

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, 'Running up that hill' is the recurring theme song of this series, it is also the first song Anders and Mitchell made 'theirs' so this is why it's quoted so much in the story.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Hello! I've finally managed to finish and upload this chapter. As I told you I've been busy these past weeks so I couldn't work much on this fanfic, so this is why you had to wait for so long. I know this isn't exactly eventful, but I promise you that more things will happen during the other chapters and you'll probably wish for more uneventfull filler chapters like this, haha. Anyway, I hope you'll still enjoy this!

* * *

_Where were you when I fell from grace__  
__Frozen heart, an empty space__  
__Something's changing, it's in your eyes__  
__Please don't speak, you'll only lie__  
__I found treasure not where I thought__  
__Peace of mind can't be bought__  
__Still I believe__I just hang on__  
__Suffer well__  
__Sometimes it's hard__  
__It's hard to tell_

**Suffer well; Depeche Mode**

* * *

_Blood and killing._

Those were the two biggest thoughts going through Mitchell's head as he aimlessly walked the streets of Auckland, fuming and spitting out what he had tasted inside Anders' mouth barely an hour earlier.

He lit up a cigarette with shaky hands, stopping at a crossroad, not really noticing that his feet had automatically taken him not so far from Ty's place. He raised his gaze, took a look around and spotted the building with the familiar blue van parked by the sidewalk and thought that he needed to get everything out of his system. He needed to calm down first, though, he didn't want to scare the man, it was the very last thing he needed in that moment.

Mitchell took in big, slow drags of tobacco, letting it fill his already dead lungs, and thank God the soothing effect was still the same as it would have been on any other living person. He rubbed his tired eyes, trying not to remember the distraught look on Anders' face and how scared he had been when Mitchell had yelled at him like he was insane... And well, he had been insane with rage and jealousy, and in that moment he couldn't have just stuck around to try and reason with him, he was too scared to snap and hurt him in any possible way, he never could have lived knowing that he'd harmed the man he loved.

Mitchell finished off the cigarette and flicked the butt away before crossing the road and walking up to the front door of Ty's apartment, hoping to actually find him there. Mitchell knocked twice, rang the doorbell, but no one seemed to be home, he figured that since the van was still parked there Ty had surely gone for his morning jog, so he sat on the threshold, fingers restlessly carding through messy, dark curls and waited. The sun had stared shining brighter and hotter than he expected, burning his eyes and face slightly, thankfully he had his coat on at least, or it would have definitely hurt him. Mitchell was just cursing under his breath and rubbing at his aching eyes when he felt someone nudging his boot.

"Hey, I thought you'd be home asleep," Ty smirked down at him and Mitchell glared up at him "...what's going on?" Ty asked promptly, thick brows furrowing in concern.

"Guess who did who," Mitchell offered him a hollow smile and scratched the back of his head. Ty widened his eyes and took a look around before pulling out of his pocket the keys to his house.

"Let's get inside," the man sighed with a frown and watched as Mitchell moved away from the door to let him unlock and swing it open "After you," Ty patted his shoulder and stepped inside after Mitchell.

"Were you at Mike's last night?" Mitchell asked as he shrugged off his coat and dropped it over the back of the couch.

"Yeah," Ty snorted "it wasn't really an engagement party, Olaf and Ingrid actually tried to talk Axl and Gaia into calling it off," Ty shrugged and walked up to the fridge.

Mitchell scrubbed both hands over his face and breathed out a "Great..."

"Beer?" Ty offered with a sympathetic smile.

Mitchell looked at him with a grateful expression because it might have been morning but he definitely needed alcohol in his system, "Yes, please," he moved to heavily plop down onto the couch and waited for Ty to join him. He didn't like the fact that this was happening again, he was at Ty's after Anders had cheated on him, and now he was sitting on the very same couch where he had cheated on Anders with his brother.

Ty was soon by his side with two cold beers in his hands, he handed one to the vampire and then uncapped his own bottle as he sat down "So what happened exactly?" he began as he turned half-way to look at Mitchell as they were sitting.

Mitchell took a sip of beer and looked down intensely at the rim of the bottle as he thought about the answer "Everything happened so fast, I just-" he shook his head and pressed his fingertips against his eyelids "He's been weird, so weird since Gaia became Idunn, he kept saying he was fine but I know it was bullshit, I can always tell when he lies," he started.

Ty nursed his beer as he listened to the vampire, nodding briefly "You already said this to me last time, so I guess it's got worse?" Mitchell nodded as well.

"Yeah, we had an argument when Axl called him to tell him about the engagement, because he didn't seem thrilled at all!" the vampire flailed his hands almost too vigorously, nearly spilling his beer "It was like he was jealous that Gaia and Axl were getting married, he denied of course and I cut him some slack 'cause I know it's Bragi and not him, but..." Mitchell paused to chew on his lip as he pondered the situation.

"So you still know it's not his fault, just like with Helen?" Ty asked with a cocked brow and his head slightly tilted to the side.

Mitchell nodded, feeling a lump quickly forming in his throat and tried gulping it down right away "Still it hurts like a bitch to know that he shagged her in our bed," he shrugged a shoulder and picked at the label of the bottle "I mean, he might have not wanted to do it, but he still did it."

Ty frowned and thumbed at the rim of the bottle "I know it's horrible, and that's something I definitely won't miss about being a God, I want to be free to love and cherish the person that my heart and mind will choose, not the God dwelling in my body," he pulled a face just thinking about Eva.

Mitchell ran his fingers through his hair and smiled faintly at him "Curses, man," he huffed, then took a large swig of beer "it should be cool for Gods to have powers and all, but then there's this crap about finding their godly partner," he grimaced.

Ty swigged his beer too, nodding as he swallowed, then bit his lip before asking "Do you regret meeting Anders?"

Mitchell widened his eyes, looking at the man as if he had just said that he had murdered his mother "What?! How could I?"

Ty's expression softened as he broke into a warm smile "That's the exact reaction I wanted to get, so long as you don't regret having anything to do with him it means that you love him and you'll forgive him."

Mitchell pursed his lips and shrugged "Right, but this doesn't mean that he won't leave me because he'll come to the conclusion that it's easier to love his goddess than a blood junkie."

Ty groaned and rolled his eyes "Mitchell, cut the crap. Do you realize how much that man loves you? How much he has changed since he has met you?" Mitchell didn't answer and just shrugged a shoulder as he tore half of the label off the bottle, so Ty went on. "Anders has never been with just one person in his whole life, let alone live with them!"

Mitchell licked his lips and raised his brows "Have you ever caught the person you love fucking someone else?" this time it was Ty who couldn't answer "I did, twice already... And you have no idea how painful it is to know that the bed you share with them has been tainted, that they've moaned someone else's name and-" Ty interrupted him with a huff and Mitchell furrowed his brows.

"You do realize that Anders has to live with the fact that you had sex with his brother, right?" Ty reminded him with a bitter smile.

"Alright, yes, we're both far from being saints, that's a given," Mitchell waved a hand, then ran his fingers through his hair "Still... It's just plain horrible to know that while you're making love with your partner they are probably craving for someone else," the vampire frowned and Ty took a swig of beer as he thought about a good reply.

"I think that... What you need to focus on is the fact that he loves you, more than anything else," Ty started, playing with the bottle as he spoke "if there's love, one that is strong like yours, I am sure that you can overcome all this," Mitchell curled his lips and nursed his beer as he thought about it.

"I don't know," the vampire sighed, eventually, scratching his stubbled jaw and chin "I don't think I could look at him right now," he gulped and lowered his gaze. It wasn't just painful to look at Anders because he knew that he had cheated on him, but because Mitchell had also scared him and he hated himself for that.

"Okay, listen... You can stay here for as long as you want, but you'll have to talk to him at some point, alright?" Ty tipped back the rest of his beer and set it onto the coffee table.

"'Kay, thanks," Mitchell bit his lower lip with a nod.

"No problem," Ty smiled softly and patted his shoulder "Now I better go shower, I reek," he sniggered and walked towards the bathroom.

Mitchell watched him disappear past the door and stared at it for a few moments, completely forgetting about the beer bottle in his hand, eventually he looked down at it and decided to finish it off in a single, large swig. He set his empty bottle next to Ty's, then stretched out onto the couch, draping an arm over his eyes as he thought about everything Ty had said to him.

Mitchell was torn between the hope that Anders actually hadn't meant for he and Gaia to happen, and the utter fear of Anders really wanting Gaia. Of course he knew that Anders and Bragi were two different beings, but what if at a certain point and with Idunn back in the game those two entities finally became one and inseparable? He really didn't want to think about it and wanted to believe that Anders could be stronger and better than that, but he really couldn't help his fear.

Mitchell pulled his cellphone out of the pocket of his jeans and stared at the screen for a while, he'd hoped to find a call or a text, anything, but there was nothing and that hurt and scared him even more. He cursed under his breath and shoved the phone back down his pocket, burying his face into his hands.

–

Anders spent at least an hour and a half on the floor, even if he hadn't realized it, his hands were still trembling slightly as he stood up on wobbly legs to reach the bathroom and spray his face with cold water. He decided that he couldn't stay home alone, it was too painful and if he went to work he would have definitely felt better with Dawn around, so he sucked in a few deep breaths and forced himself to get dressed and leave the house.

Everything outside of his house bothered him, the sun, the chirping of the birds, the lively chatting of teenagers and the shouting of children, even the colors of the flowers annoyed him, everything looked overly happy in an over saturated scenery and he couldn't stomach all that bliss, not when he felt like utter shit. He kicked a pebble out of his way, making it clash noisily against a trashcan and he definitely enjoyed having startled quite a few people, he smirked at the look of annoyance on their faces and made his way into the building where his office was located.

"Look who fell off the bed," Dawn greeted him not even lifting her gaze from the computer screen, she didn't even how she could still cope with her impossible boss, how she could still care about him, even if he always managed to be horrible with her.

"Didn't really get the chance to sleep at all," was Anders dry reply as he headed to his desk and not to the couch, much to Dawn's surprise.

"Are... You okay?" the girl asked as she squinted at Anders from under creased brows. Normally, when Anders announced a sleepless night he would boast about the amazing sex he had as he flopped down on the couch to sleep the morning away, but in that moment he was actually checking the documents on his desk.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Anders asked as he flipped through the papers. Dawn blinked and stood from her own desk to walk up to Anders', worry written all over her features.

"Is everything alright with Mitchell?" Dawn dared asking, and when she saw her boss tensing up and slightly wrinkling the papers in his hands she knew that something was definitely up with his boyfriend.

"Everything is just fine," Anders replied, his voice colder but kind of unsteady as he looked up at his assistant "why don't you go get us some coffee?" Anders' suggestion sounded nearly scary said in that ice cold tone, and Dawn didn't put up any fight and just moved to grab her purse and leave the office.

Anders dropped his head in his hands, sucking in a few shaky breaths as he tried to calm down and tell himself that everything was going to be alright somehow, that Mitchell was going to understand eventually and they would have fixed it together, one way or another. Mitchell had promised him that he was always going to be there for him, he was never going to leave... He did promise that, right? He would never break that promise, and that's what was keeping Anders from going insane, up until a few minutes later, when his phone buzzed with a text message that nearly made him fling his iPhone into the nearest wall.

_'I am staying at Ty's for the night, please understand that I can't bear to be with you right away.'_

Mitchell's words hurt like a stab in the chest and for a moment Anders forgot how to breathe in that mixture of jealousy and pain. He decided not to reply, or else he might have typed something that could have made everything worse, and tried to go back to work.

Minutes began to feel like hours and focusing was close to impossible, Anders rubbed his eyes a couple times and idly grabbed his phone, staring down at the screen blankly; he knew he should have said something to Mitchell at least but when he opened a new message he chewed on his lower lip and decided that he needed to do something bigger.

"Dawn, I need to go for a while, don't wait for me, go home if I don't come back," Anders announced as he stood up from his seat and pulled on his jacket, striding towards the front door.

"Okay?" Dawn watched him leave, puzzled. That weird behavior was freaking her out, she definitely much preferred it when Anders was his usual obnoxious self.

Anders was so resolute as he walked into Ty's house direction that he could barely believe himself. When he had cheated on Mitchell with Helen, he had ended up fighting with Mitchell so he actually was scared that things might end up in the same way, but at the same time he really hoped to make things right.

Anders kept marching and thinking about all the things he was going to say to him, how he was going to try and make him understand that Gaia really didn't mean anything to him and it had been just Bragi's fault. As he paced down the sidewalk, though, completely oblivious of his surroundings, he bumped into someone who cursed under their breath in a thick Kiwi accent that made his heart skip a beat, and not for a good reason.

"You gotta be kidding me."

Anders widened his eyes as he stared at the girl standing in front of him "Gaia," was all he could stutter out.

The girl tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her by the wrist stopping her.

"What do you want with me?!" Gaia growled, she didn't even try to keep her voice down and Anders earned himself a few nasty looks from the people around them.

"Don't screech like that, I just need to talk to you," Anders started, and it was in that moment that all his good intentions began to slowly fly out of the window.

Gaia huffed "There's nothing to say, really," she tried to shake Anders' hand away but it only made him tighten the grip "You're hurting me," she hissed and he finally let go of her.

"Mitchell knows."

That was all it took for Gaia's eyes to nearly pop out of their sockets and panic to whiten her face "Why did you-" she gulped and shut her eyes, sucking in a deep breath "He can't know, he could tell Axl."

Anders rolled his eyes "He'd never do that, he's not a child."

"Well someone definitely has to be a grown up in your house," Gaia nearly snarled as she pulled a face.

"Says the toddler who's getting married in spite of Norse Gods bullshit," Anders promptly replied as he stuck his hands into the pocket of his trousers and rocked on his heels.

Gaia glared at him and jabbed a threatening finger in his direction "I love him, and I won't let you ruin what we have."

Anders widened his eyes as he let out an incredulous huff "You're the one who came to my apartment, I don't really see how any of this is my fault!"

Color came back to Gaia's cheeks as she idly opened and closed her mouth a couple times. She shook her head and tried to look everywhere but into Anders' eyes "It wasn't mine either! It's just-"

"An incontrollable, nasty urge," Anders finished the sentence for her, and she finally looked up at him. They both stared at each other for what felt like ages as their brains and hearts surrendered to the godly souls inhabiting their bodies again, and the next thing they knew was that they were squeezed into the dirty stall toilet of a bar.

Gaia was facing the wall as Anders thrusted into her, he had pinned her hands above her head and it was when his eyes finally fell upon her engagement ring and Mitchell's sort of promise ring that Anders froze and suddenly pulled out of her.

"No, no, no, we can't do this again. We can't!" he groaned as he tore the condom off from his still hardened member and threw it into the bin next to the toilet.

"What?" Gaia asked confused as she was still partially lost into the Idunn-Bragi spell, but quickly pulled her knickers back up with a muttered curse when she came back to her senses.

Anders didn't say anything as he tried to fit his uncomfortable erection back into his pants and buckle his belt, and was just about to push the door of the loo open when Gaia stopped him.

"We can't do this anymore," her voice cracked and Anders just kept quiet as he strode out of the toilet and rushed out of the bar.

He was starting to seriously doubt that he could manage this thing inside him, thinking that he wasn't going to be able to fight against something that was clearly bigger than him, bigger than anyone else. How could he have let this happen again? And on the way to try and talk Mitchell into coming back home! That seriously felt like a bad, bad joke, and Anders was so angry at himself that he sunk his nails so hard into his palms that he drew blood.

There was only one thing that he was definitely sure of, and it was that he could barely even stand as he felt the weight of guilt and disgust pressing down on him. He needed to get back home, somehow, even if his legs might have failed him on the way.

It took Anders nearly double the time it would have took him normally to get home, and once he had slammed the door shut behind his back he went straight to the booze cabinet to pull a bottle of Fenrir out of it and plopped down on the couch with it. That was what he could really do best, after all, he was going to drink the rest of the evening and night away so that every bad thought and memory would just leave him the fuck alone.

–

"Hey!" Ty called out for the third time as he watched Mitchell staring blankly at the coffee table.

The vampire hadn't eaten or slept all day and evening, he had been alone all the time while Ty was at work, and now that he had come back he still hadn't acknowledged his presence.

"Mitch, did you die or something?" Ty placed a hand on Mitchell's shoulder, startling him. Well at least he was looking up at him now.

"Shit! You made me jump!" Mitchell growled and rubbed at his tired eyes.

"You look like crap, mate," Ty commented with a frown.

"Yeah, thanks…" Mitchell replied as he rolled his eyes and stretched out a bit "How was work?" he asked as he went back to rub at his eyelids.

"Same old, same old," Ty shrugged and sat on the coffee table to face the vampire "I'm worried about you, have you even left this couch?" he asked with knitted brows.

"Couple times for a piss," Mitchell pursed his lips and leaned back against the back of the couch, getting more comfortable.

"Did you eat?"

Mitchell scoffed "Who are you, my dad?"

"No, I'm your best friend who's worried about your well being," Ty corrected him with a severe look on his face "Self-destruction isn't exactly the answer to this situation."

"Spare me the lecture, I'm not an angsty teenager. I'm just processing my grief, okay? It'll get better," Mitchell explained with an exasperated sigh "Self-destruction…" he whispered to himself as he looked down at his lap. He'd been very self-destructive in the past, and he wasn't sure that he wouldn't have gone down that road again if things got worse.

"I know, and you've got every right to grieve over this, but you gotta remind yourself that Anders did nothing on purpose, it was Bragi who-" Mitchell would have let him finish speaking if he wasn't so sick of hearing the same thing over and over.

"I get it! It was Bragi, I get it!" Mitchell growled and buried his face into his hands for a few moments "I wanna trust him and believe you, but-" he paused as he looked up at Ty "it's hard, really hard."

Ty nodded and clapped him on the knee "I know, but staying here won't help either one of you, especially since you stormed out of the apartment and didn't listen to what he had to say," he gave Mitchell's knee a sympathetic squeeze as he smiled at him.

Mitchell remained silent for a moment, he knew that his friend was right and he probably should have followed his advice, but he couldn't miss the occasion to mock Ty. "Are you trying to kick me out? Is there a lady or a charming gentleman coming over, later?" he smirked softly.

Ty scoffed and shook his head as he retrieved his hand "Shut up, I'm not kicking you out," then he put on his best smirk "and by the way, there already is a charming gentleman in my house."

Mitchell bit his bottom lip as he lowered his gaze, a soft smirk curling his lips "Yeah, that would be you," he said as he looked back up at his friend.

Ty rolled his eyes "Yeah, right..." he said softly and stood up "I'm starving," he announced as he made his way towards the fridge "Do I make dinner for two?"

Mitchell thought about it for a couple of seconds, then he shook his head "No," he pushed himself off the couch and grabbed the coat that was still placed over the back of the sofa "I should go back home," Mitchell smiled softly as he shrugged the coat on.

Ty turned around with a bright smile and nodded "Yeah, you do that," then he arched a brow "but let me know how it goes, alright?"

Mitchell snorted but nodded anyway "I will. See you, mate," he saluted him and made his way towards to door to exit the flat.

He wasn't exactly sure about what he was going to find, back home, but Ty was right and there was just no point in running away the way he did. Sure, Mitchell didn't feel like getting too intimate with Anders after what had happened just the night before, but still he wanted to stay with him and somehow sort things out.

"Anders?" Mitchell called out when he stepped into the awfully quiet flat.

When he saw that apparently no one was around, despite the lights being on, he furrowed his brows and walked up to the couch "Hello?" he peeked over the back and found Anders sleeping with his mouth hanging open and an half empty bottle of vodka clutched to his chest. Mitchell sighed and ran his fingers through his own curls before walking around the couch "Shit…" he muttered as he carefully removed the bottle from Anders' loose grip and put it onto the coffee table. Anders didn't wake up, but he nuzzled the cushions and mumbled incoherently as he squirmed slightly onto the couch, making the vampire chuckle softly as he carded his fingers through Anders' messy hair.

"You're back…" Anders suddenly mumbled as he blinked his heavy eyelids open. Mitchell looked down at him surprised and shrugged.

"You certainly kept yourself busy while I was away," Mitchell licked his lips and jerked his head towards the bedroom "I'll put you to bed, c'mon," he spoke softly as he helped Anders up.

"You're coming, too?" Anders slurred as he wrapped his arms around Mitchell's neck and pressed his lips to the vampire's ear.

"I prefer the couch, for tonight at least," Mitchell pursed his lips as he kept the unsteady blond up.

"Aw, c'mon! Sleep with me, I love you!" Anders groaned and nuzzled Mitchell's neck, placing a few wet kisses on his skin.

Mitchell felt like he was dealing with a small, whiny child, but then again Anders often acted like one so that behavior wasn't exactly new to him. "Alright, I will," he lied through his teeth just so that Anders would work with him and finally let Mitchell put him to bed.

Once the vampire had undressed and tucked his boyfriend into bed he stood up to make his way to the living room, but Anders was quicker and grabbed him by the wrist and tugged on it.

"Stay, please… Don't leave me again, it hurts," he whined with his eyes shut, and Mitchell bit his bottom lip as sat down next to Anders.

"I'm here, go back to sleep," Mitchell twisted his hand awkwardly so that Anders would let go of his wrist and he could interlock their fingers together.

"Okay…" Anders whispered as he squeezed Mitchell's fingers in his, quickly falling back to sleep.

Mitchell watched him for a while, rubbing circles into the back of his hand until he was sure that he wasn't going to wake him up. Anders' grip on his fingers was still strong no matter how deeply asleep he was and that definitely made Mitchell feel bad for still wanting to sleep away from his him, but he really couldn't help thinking about him and Gaia in that very same bed just a few hours earlier. He stood up and toed his shoes off, removed the coat and heavily laid down onto the couch, blessing his tired body and mind because if he hadn't been so exhausted he would have had to prepare himself to go through another sleepless night.

_**To be continued…**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**I don't have anything in particular to say about this chapter - apart from 'sorry I'm not sorry' in advance - but I do want to thank every single one of you who has been reading, leaving comments on this story because God knows how much I need them! If I still haven't given up on this story it's all thanks to you, guys, so thank you so, so freaking much!

I wanna thank especially you, yes, I'm looking at you, amazing girlfriend who still bears with me and are so supportive of this bad writing habit of mine, and at you, Mari and Heather for being the amazing friends and readers that you are!

* * *

_Finally, together we were destined,  
__I know what's best for us in the end  
__Someone hear me,  
__someone stop me,  
__someone listen,  
__why aren't you listening?__  
_

**Betrayed; Avenged Sevenfold.**

* * *

Anders might have woken up with a bitch of an hangover, dry mouth, messed up stomach and throbbing headache, but none of those things could hurt him more than not finding Mitchell on his side of the bed. He might have been drunk the night before, but he perfectly remembered that Mitchell had put him to bed and then Anders had made him promise to sleep with him, but Mitchell wasn't there and that both scared and pained him at the same time.

Anders pushed himself out of bed, dragging his still tired limbs towards the living room where he saw Mitchell's feet sticking out of one end of the couch. Well, he was still in the house at least, and that made him feel slightly better.

Yeah, until he stopped and the memory of him fucking Gaia into a public toilet slapped him across the face and he had to hold onto the nearest piece of furniture he could reach. He sucked in a few deep breaths, trying to calm down and play cool.

"Anders?" Mitchell's voice came suddenly, startling Anders who promptly perked up.

"Hey," Anders replied as he saw the vampire sitting up and running long fingers through dark curls, "didn't mean to wake you, just wanted to check... On you."

Mitchell rested his chin on the back of the couch, looking way too much like a sleepy puppy dog "If I were still in the house?" he asked, brows nearly disappearing into his hairline.

Anders hung his head and nervously rubbed the back of his neck as he replied weakly "Maybe?"

Mitchell smiled bitter "No, if I had to leave again I wouldn't have come back at all," he explained with a shrug.

Anders nearly collapsed with relief, but managed to steady himself against the wall "But you didn't want to sleep with me," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"You can't expect too much from me after what happened, can you?" that hint of a smile from before had faded away completely from Mitchell's face, curving his lips into a slight frown.

Anders nodded and didn't say anything, but deep inside he was telling himself that he really didn't deserve a thing, after betraying his man twice in a matter of hours.

Mitchell decided to break the silence, folding his arms over the back of the couch and resting his chin on them "I have a shift later, will you be alright on your own?"

Anders snorted "What? I'm not five," he furrowed his brows at his boyfriend's words.

Mitchell huffed "Well, right now you're acting like you were," he rolled his eyes "I meant with the hangover and all the rest."

"Oh," Anders raised his eyebrows and shrugged a shoulder "Yeah, I guess. I'll just pop an aspirin or two and I should be fine," he rubbed at his right eye, as he felt the headache pounding right behind it. "I'm definitely staying home, today," he announced in a tired voice, because he truly was exhausted from the past days and he could use a break.

Mitchell nodded, even if he didn't particularly like the thought of Anders being home alone while he was at work, but he needed to force himself to stop being so paranoid about everything. "Want me to get you that aspirin?" he asked with a slight tilt of the head.

Anders shook his head softly "It's okay, I just..." he licked his lips and sucked in a deep breath "Can I stay on the couch with you for a bit?"

Mitchell tensed up at the question because Anders had actually felt the need to ask him something like that, so even if he was still holding a bit of a grudge on Anders, Mitchell beckoned him over. The bright, genuine smile that he got in return, when Anders walked up to him and crawled into his lap told him that he had made the right decision. Mitchell wrapped his arms around Anders and nuzzled his neck, letting his eyes drop shut as he relaxed into the hug.

"How come you decided to come back?" Anders began as he nosed at Mitchell's jaw "I thought you were staying at Ty's," he inhaled the vampire's scent and placed a soft kiss to his neck.

Mitchell ran his fingers up and down the nape of Anders' neck, then absentmindedly began to draw nonsense between his shoulder blades "I just found it pointless to stay away from you," he shrugged a shoulder "you didn't do it on purpose, right?" his voice was trembling slightly with uncertainty, so he tried to mask it by clearing his throat.

Anders squeezed his eyes shut, guilt piercing through his chest as he heard those words "Of course not," and he definitely wasn't lying, but having done it another time made him feel horrible, especially because Mitchell had decided to come back, so he was pretty much forgiven – or so he hoped.

"I'm sorry this is just," Mitchell paused and took a soft grip on Anders shirt, the god reared back to look at him with a confused expression "it's hard, it's weird." was all Mitchell could say before he shrugged "Not that I'm normal, I mean, I'm a fucking vampire and–" his rambling was quickly cut off by Anders pressing his palm over his lips.

"Shut it, I get it. It is fucked up, everything concerning us is weird as fuck, I know, but it's okay." Anders' blurted out, then looked for reassurance in Mitchell's eyes "Or at least it will be, right?"

Mitchell sighed and rested his brow against Anders' "Of course, we'll work it out," he went back to gently stroke Anders' back to let him know that he didn't want to give up on them.

Guilt was consuming Anders, and for a moment he thought that he was going to confess what had just happened, tell Mitchell how this thing he felt inside was sucking the life out of him and slowly destroying him. He had hated his life when he was a kid, but when he turned 21 and gained his powers it seemed like a reward, having the ability to obtain everything you want just by using a mellow, seductive voice was such a great treat from life. But Mitchell had changed that perspective, and he had learned how delightful and satisfying it was to actually win something – or rather, someone – without using any power but just by being himself. And now that he had also learned about the awful forced attraction between gods and goddesses he had definitely started to hate being Bragi.

As he was completely lost in his painful thoughts he must have pulled quite an awful face or something, because Mitchell was staring at him genuinely worried.

"Are you okay?" Mitchell asked with knitted brows, then cupped Anders' chin "Don't you dare throw up on me, yeah?"

Anders blinked a few times, then scowled at him "What? No, I won't throw up on you, what the fuck?"

"Well you definitely looked like you were gonna be sick," Mitchell insisted as his boyfriend rolled his eyes.

"It's just a hangover, I'll be fine," he rubbed his forehead and let out a sigh "I guess I'll have that aspirin now."

"Good idea, c'mon let me up," Mitchell patted Anders' hip and waited for him to shift on the cushions to fetch a glass of water and an aspirin.

Anders rubbed at his eyes vigorously, then pressed his fingers against his temples, rubbing them in circles as he tried to soothe that horrible headache. He needed to get a grip, had to get a grip, he had slipped twice already and he couldn't afford to be weak anymore, he needed to be strong for Mitchell, just like Mitchell was being strong for him.

"Here," Mitchell walked back to the couch and handed him a pill and a glass of fresh water before taking a seat.

Anders smiled softly as he popped the pill into his mouth and then grabbed the glass to tip everything down; it was just when he was about to swallow the last sip of water that Gaia appeared against the nearest wall, writhing as she ran a hand down her poorly clad body, making him choke and cough up what was left of his glass of water.

"Shit! Are you alright?" Mitchell widened his eyes and took the glass from Anders' hand, quickly setting it on the coffee table to pat him firmly on the back.

A fit of cough and a few tears later, Anders finally calmed down and laid back against the armrest of the sofa "Fuck, I don't even know how to drink anymore," he said in a weak, nasal voice. Of course he still knew how to drink, he just didn't know how to deal with those damn visions anymore.

Mitchell snorted "Only water, though. You perfectly know how to empty a bottle of vodka," he commented with an arched brow as he stroke Anders' legs soothingly.

Anders pulled a face "You're so funny, gosh. If I hadn't nearly choked to death I'd be rolling on the floor in tears."

Mitchell promptly slapped Anders knee as he glared down at him.

"Ow! Dick," Anders frowned as he rubbed his knee.

"Are you sure you'll be alright on your own?" Mitchell asked again, concern wrinkling his features.

Anders huffed "Yes, Mitchell. I'll take it easy, don't worry. You've already taken too many days off from work, I don't want you to lose your job over an hungover boyfriend. I've had worse anyway."

Mitchell pursed his lips and nodded "A stake through the chest, perhaps."

Anders smirked bitter "Yeah, perhaps." then he chewed down on his bottom lip briefly as he thought "There's still something you could do for me, before you have to leave," he started.

Mitchell furrowed his brows, curious "Sure, what's that?"

Anders slowly moved his foot back and over Mitchell's crotch, applying the right pressure and friction that he knew the vampire would find enjoyable and not painful.

Mitchell's breath hitched in his throat and his eyes did fall shut as he allowed himself to enjoy that pleasant touch, but snapped out of it right away to wrap his fingers around Anders' ankle to stop him. "No, it's too soon," he shook his head and tugged at Anders' ankle to stretch his leg out again.

Anders had actually seen it coming, he was ready for that reaction, still he had hoped for the best. "Are you ever gonna touch me again?" he arched up a brow, he didn't know if it was a good idea to start arguing about sex, especially in that moment, but he couldn't help himself.

Mitchell managed to gather up his self-control to calmly answer the question "Yes, I will touch you again when I'll stop thinking about your head between Gaia's legs." he shuddered at the mere mental image and went back to stroke Anders' legs.

The blond huffed as he threw his head back in frustration "Would my head between your legs help a bit?" he asked as he bent his knee and gently pressed it against Mitchell's chest.

Now that was a tough question.

Mitchell looked briefly at Anders, lying on the couch in his tight boxer briefs that didn't do much to hide the silhouette of his half hardened length, and the way his shirt was slightly pulled up, revealing his incredibly inviting golden happy trail and part of his navel. Mitchell would have loved to launch himself at him, dip his tongue into Anders' belly button and then bite the inside of his thighs hard, ripping the skin and drinking his – oh great, he was having those kind of black, possessive thoughts again.

Mitchell scrubbed both hands over his face and shook his head "I don't know, maybe it's not such a good idea... Not today at least," he frowned "I'm sorry, babe."

Anders had thought that at least that suggestion was going to change the vampire's mind a bit, he was trying to be selfless, and being rejected hurt him. Anders sat up slowly, looking down at his lap as he spoke "I just... I want you to trust me. I wanted to prove that I can be happy even just pleasuring you and–" his words were interrupted by Mitchell's hand cupping his chin.

"Anders, you don't have to prove all your points with sex, you know?" Mitchell started as he looked into those eyes that in that moment looked adorably childish "I came back because I trust you, and I know that if you weren't Bragi you wouldn't have done that. I don't need you to suck my cock to prove it," he shrugged a shoulder "you haven't even tried to kiss me yet, but you're ready to work your mouth between my legs." he couldn't help but snort, even if he found it a bit twisted, but Mitchell knew that Anders' head must have been a huge mess in those days.

Realization broke on Anders' face and he dropped his head in shame, feeling like the stupidest prick on the planet. Mitchell found the vision extremely cute and endearing, so much that he couldn't help but scratch the underside of Anders' chin as if he were a kitten "Aw, it's okay, Andy," he smirked slightly.

Anders' head shot up as he stared at Mitchell wide-eyed before repeating "Andy?!"

Mitchell raised his brows in fake innocence "What? You don't like your new nickname?"

Anders grimaced "Fuck no, if I kiss you will you stop calling me that?"

Mitchell laughed and pulled him back to straddle his lap again as he pressed their lips together. Anders returned the kiss with blissful abandon, wrapping his arms around Mitchell's neck as he traced the vampire's upper lip with his tongue and then licked into his mouth. It was one of those kisses that could stop time and make them forget about everything and everyone, and in that moment it was restoring faith in their relationship.

Mitchell pulled back after a while to rest his forehead against Anders' "I'd really like to stay home with you, today." he sighed as he let his eyelids drop shut.

Anders frowned and moved his right hand over Mitchell's heart to rub soothing circles on his chest "Me too," he sighed and paused to softly nip at the vampire's bottom lip "but you'll be here tonight, at least. We can stay up 'til morning," he suggested with a smirk.

Mitchell copied that smirk "Sounds like a plan," he tilted his head slightly to capture Anders' lips in another languid kiss.

–

Mitchell and Anders spent the whole morning cuddling, kissing and laughing at each other's idiotic jokes, and there wasn't a single time in which Anders thought about Gaia or Mitchell thought about blood, it had been just perfect.

When Mitchell eventually went to work Anders called Dawn to let her know that he needed a day off, he didn't even need to Bragi her into being okay with it, because she had been so worried about him since the day before that she just told him to take it easy and that she had everything under control. Dawn definitely was an angel, there couldn't be a different explanation.

What Anders didn't need, though, was being left alone with his mind and Bragi, so he decided that maybe he needed to head to Ty's – on short notice, he knew, but he was sure that his brother wouldn't deny him some company.

Anders dialed Ty's phone number as he got into his car, he knew that apart from their brief meeting at Mike's Anders had pretty much ignored his brother, but then again Anders had always been like that with all his brothers, so Ty probably didn't mind.

_"How strange of you to suddenly remember about my existence."_

Anders smirked at Ty's words as he buckled himself "I'm actually on my way to pay you a visit, and I'm bringing a six pack."

_"Oh, this is why you're my favorite brother."_

Anders scoffed "I know I'm not, it's alright," he shrugged to himself "I'm no one's favorite."

_"Just shut up and come over."_

Anders sniggered and hung up.

He was still holding a bit of a grudge over Ty sleeping with Mitchell, but he also knew that it had been the result of more god bullshit, and that Ty would have never done something like that because he was a better man than Anders.

When Anders pulled his SUV over and got out of it, it took him more than he expected to summon up the courage to actually ring the doorbell. He had a clear flashback of knocking on that very door to try and talk Mitchell into forgiving him, failing miserably. He remembered the ache deep within his chest when he found out that his brother and his boyfriend had screwed.

Anders needed a moment, he leaned a hand against the wall and took a few deep breaths; that was the past, Mitchell and Ty were just good friends now, he could be sure that nothing like that was going to happen again. The blond finally rang the door bell and squared his shoulders as he waited for his brother to open the door.

"Hey," Ty smiled softly.

"Hi," Anders replied with an unsure smile.

"Just gonna stand there?" Ty arched a brow and Anders blinked before shaking his head.

"Sorry, I'm just... A bit off these days," Anders licked his lips, then figured that Ty probably knew about he and Gaia because Mitchell had been there the day before. He was definitely hoping that his brother wasn't going to be a judgmental asshole about that whole story, or he would have bashed his own head into a wall.

But Ty wasn't going to do that, he just offered him a sympathetic smile and a pat on the shoulder "I can imagine that, come in."

Anders relaxed a bit and stepped into the apartment, moving to place the six pack on the island "So, I guess you know everything?" it wasn't even a question, because he already knew the answer.

"Yeah, Mitchell's told me about it," Ty sighed and leaned back against the island "you know, I'd like to think that you're here because you really wanted to see me and not because you–" Anders didn't even let him finish as he held up a hand and shook his head.

"Look, you know I'm not that kinda person, I'm not cheesy or sappy," Anders shrugged and Ty had to agree with that with a deep nod "but you seriously are my best brother, I mean I know you judge me constantly on my behavior and how I live my life, but... You're not like Mike," then he pulled a face "and let's face it, I'm not Axl's favorite brother either, especially right now."

Ty couldn't help but snigger at his words as he looked down at his feet with his arms folded across his chest. "Well I'm happy to hear that, I do believe that you're a dick 97% of times," he started.

"Why, thank you."

"But uh, you've changed a lot and..." he went on with a one-shouldered shrug "you're becoming a better person. I'm sorry for your wounded ego, but you are," Ty nodded with a smirk and Anders had to slightly shove him.

"Shut up," Anders rolled his eyes "Oh! Now that I think about it, I never got round to congratulate you on getting rid of Hod! Go Ty!" he smirked "Too bad I won't be able to use any more Ice Man jokes, guess I'll have to make up new ones."

"You know, I'm pretty sure I can live without your crappy jokes," Ty nodded as he took a can of beer from the pack and popped it open.

"I'm sorry about Dawn," Anders said after a few moments of silence, and the thing made Ty freeze with his hand in midair.

"...Thanks?" Ty stared at him suspiciously from under furrowed brows.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Anders blinked, puzzled.

"Because... I wasn't expecting you to say that?" Ty huffed "I mean, you've always been a dick about this whole Dawn business."

Anders rubbed his hand against his brow and grimaced "You're the one who said I've changed, so you probably know why I told you this," he looked down at the can he had just pulled out of the pack as he popped it open "don't make me say _everything_."

Of course, how could Ty be so stupid? Anders knew now, he knew what it was like to be in love and he also knew what it was like to lose the person he loved. The younger Johnson smiled softly to himself and took a sip of beer "I'm sure you'll fix this."

Anders didn't nod and didn't say anything, because he didn't really feel like going there, so he just kept drinking his beer in silence, when all of a sudden he was startled by his brother's ring tone. "Jesus fuck! That gave me a heart attack!" he cried out as he pressed a hand to his chest.

Ty widened his eyes "It's just my cellphone?" he reached for the counter and snorted as he saw the name blinking on the screen "Mike," he smirked over at Anders and bit back a laugh when he saw him roll his eyes in exasperation. "Hey!"

_"Ty, I need you to find Anders and bring him over to my place. We have a bit of a problem."_

Ty furrowed his brows and shot Anders a glance "He's actually standing right in front of me, what's the matter?"

Anders furrowed his brows as he learned he was the topic of the call.

_"Axl is here and Gaia told him all about what she and Anders did. We need to sort this out together, so that nobody gets hurt."_

Ty widened his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his mouth "Alright, yeah. We'll be there soon," he hung up without adding anything else and looked at Anders only to deadpan "Axl knows."

Anders swallowed thickly, feeling his blood run cold into his veins as panic rushed through his body. He knew how Axl must have been pissed, and his anger mixed with the fact that he was Odin turned him into a lethal weapon and Anders was definitely scared to get seriously hurt, no matter how much Mike claimed that he wasn't going to let anyone come to any harm.

Despite the fear, Anders climbed inside his SUV with Ty so that they could head to the bar together, he thought for a moment that maybe he should have let Mitchell know about what was going on, but then again what could actually happen? Maybe Axl was going to punch him, they had been there before, Anders was just going to have to explain a black eye and a bruised cheekbone.

Once they arrived to the bar Anders squinted at the bags of rubble laying on the sidewalk "Wait, what's going on?"

Ty threw the car door shut and raised his eyebrows "Right, you don't know... Mike has closed the business and is making a proper house in here," he nodded as he walked up to the door.

Anders pursed his lips "I see," he shrugged "Too bad, it's been cool to have a brother who owned a bar."

Ty sniggered at that, agreeing without a doubt, then they both made their way towards the front door.

Anders wasn't ready to meet Axl, he was the complete opposite of ready, but he knew that this was bound to happen sooner or later, Gaia loved Axl too much to keep all these lies hidden. Anders watched as Ty swung the door open and sucked in one last deep, calming breath before stepping inside the bar to confront his enraged brother.

As soon as Anders met Axl's eyes, the younger brother tried launching himself at Anders who quickly stepped out of his way and hid behind Ty.

"Whoa, whoa. Easy!" Olaf and Mike yanked Axl back to try and talk some sense into him.

"You fucked my fiancée, twice!" Axl shouted angrily from above Olaf's shoulder.

"Well flash news, she fucked me too!" Anders snarled back, not moving from behind his human shield, at those words Axl nearly sent Olaf and Mike flying.

"She would have never fucked you! You Bragi'd her into screwing you!" Axl went on shouting like a mad man until Olaf pushed him aside to speak to him as he looked at him in the eye.

"He didn't actually use his powers on her, she was driven to have sex with him because he is Bragi and she is Idunn." Olaf explained for probably the millionth time, you'd have thought everyone would have got the situation by then, but apparently it wasn't so.

"She loves _me_! Not _him_, he's a gross prick!" Axl cried, distraught.

"Hey, fuck you! I have a boyfriend, I don't give two shits about her!" Anders snarled in return and Ty pushed him slightly back as if suggesting to take it easy and shut up.

"Look, Axl. I told you before, no matter how much Gaia and Anders find each other repulsive, hate each other and love you and Mitchell, Idunn and Bragi will always wanna nail each other!" Olaf raised his brows, trying to understand if Axl was listening to him or not, then went on "As long as they will inhabit the same area, they'll always long for one another. That's how it is!"

Anders studied Axl's reaction, furrowing his brows when he saw him lower his gaze, miserable.

"It sucks bro, okay?" Anders started as he finally stepped in front of Ty, carefully getting closer to Axl "I love Mitchell, and Gaia really does love you, and we hate each other's guts but is just–" he grimaced, shrugging "it's like when we're away from each other... We keep thinking about screwing, and when we're together, fuck. It's just... It's an urge, something you can't stop! We just have to fuck and dude, it is good, but then I start thinking about–" everyone was slapping a hand against their foreheads by then, and Axl didn't even let him finish, he just grabbed Anders by his shirt and tossed him with inhuman strength onto the pile of rubble, rusty nails and chipped wood.

"Anders, you dick..." Mike huffed and rolled his eyes, but still he and Olaf turned to glare at Axl's reaction. Ty, on his part, was the only one to worry about Anders' health.

"Anders? Anders are you okay?" Ty asked as he helped up his brother.

Anders stood up, pressing a hand on the left side of his aching neck "Shit- That hurt, Axl... What–?" he slurred as blood gushed freely out a deep cut on his neck "Oh... Fuck." he collapsed right on the same spot he had landed before, and in the blink of an eye everyone was on him, trying to keep him awake.

Axl stood there, panicking, unable to believe what he had just done. He had never meant to kill Anders, that wasn't really him acting, he would have never had been so impossibly strong to toss a person like a doll, hadn't he been Odin. He was too scared to stick around and cause any more harm, so he ran away as fast as he could, despite Mike's poor attempt to make him stay.

Both Ty and Olaf crouched down to idly stop the bleeding and try to keep Anders awake, but he just kept turning paler and colder and it was like there was nothing left to do for him. Anders could still hear them, barely, as if his ears and head were filled with cotton, he heard his brothers and grandfather calling out for him but he couldn't answer, he was so tired. The last thing he heard was Mike shouting Michele's name, then everything turned black, his ears buzzed for a couple more moments then he couldn't hear anything anymore.

–

Right in the exact moment in which Anders got injured, back at the hospital Mitchell groaned loudly as a sharp pain pierced through his chest, causing him to drop the mop and fall to his knees. It wasn't a normal pain, and he had only felt it once before: when Herrick had staked Anders. That could only be explained as a soul bond, being in love with Anders meant that Mitchell would feel his pain whenever something extremely bad was happening to him, and it probably worked the other way around, too.

"Mitchell, are you alright?" a nurse squatted to his level and placed a hand on his shoulder to try and figure out what was wrong with him.

"I-I gotta go, I just-" Mitchell squeezed his eyes shut and clutched at his stomach when an excruciating cramp hit him, making him nearly howl in pain.

"What's the point of leaving? You're in a hospital, we'll take care of you!" the blonde nurse insisted as she tried to help him up.

"No, you can't!" Mitchell finally found the strength to stand up and suddenly rushed towards the stairs to reach his locker and just grab his bag, he didn't have the time to get changed, Anders was in danger, so he just ran to the exit and left the hospital.

Mitchell didn't even have to ask anyone where Anders was, he just knew, he was at Mike's but the bond was starting to feel weaker and weaker, causing Mitchell to panic even more as he ran like the devil through the streets of Auckland. He bumped into people, knocked down a trashcan, nearly tripped over a small dog, but no one and nothing could stop his race against time.  
He could feel that Anders' light was dimming and Mitchell was glad he didn't need air to survive because the pain in his chest was too strong to let him breathe. He choked back his tears, not letting them blur his vision and just kept running and running until he finally stepped into Mike's bar and found everyone crouching down on the floor.

"Michele!" Mike called out, and at first he hadn't even seen the vampire but when he did he widened his eyes "Oh God, Mitchell... This isn't– We will explain later," he didn't even know what to say but it didn't matter, because Mitchell dropped his bag on the threshold and pushed him out of the way as he fell to his knees next to his dying boyfriend – for the second time.

"What the fuck happened?" Mitchell growled, briefly peeking at the nasty wound that was draining Anders of all his blood before pressing a cloth against it again. Anders' blood was literally everywhere and Mitchell was starting to feel sick, the smell was strong but still completely different from a normal human's and Mitchell hated having it fill his nostrils.

"Axl... He– They were bickering, sorta and just–" Ty stammered but Mitchell just growled and pressed his forehead against Anders'.

"I knew I should have stayed home! Fuck!" Mitchell cried before he gave in to the sobbing "Don't leave me, please!"

"He's not going anywhere, just back up!" Michele pulled the vampire away from Anders before she could finally use the powers of Yggdrasil on him.

Mitchell would have put up a fight if he hadn't realized right away that Michele could actually heal Anders, so he just sat on the floor by Anders' feet as he watched the wound disappear and Anders eyes blinking open.

"Anders..." Mitchell called out softly as Michele stood up and murmured something about constantly having to save Anders' sorry ass, but Mitchell didn't bother and only widened his eyes when Anders jolted up into a sitting position. "Easy! You just lost all this blood!"

Anders reached out for the front of Mitchell's scrubs and gripped it tightly into his fist "I am so, so sorry," he said in a slightly trembling voice.

"What?" Mitchell scowled at him "What for? Nearly dying on me again?" Anders was about to say something, but he was too weak to even think, so he passed out again. "Fuck, Anders!" Mitchell growled as he pulled him into his lap.

"We should probably just take him home, he lost way too much blood to even keep his eyes open." Olaf commented as he straightened back up.

Mitchell didn't say anything and just let his eyes drop shut as he pressed his lips to the top of Anders head, still too shaken to speak and think properly.

"Hey..." Ty was still crouching beside Mitchell, he placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it softly to get his attention "C'mon, Olaf and I will help you get him home."

Mitchell nodded "Yeah, okay," he stood up and carefully scooped up Anders off the floor.

"I'll look for Axl, God knows how scared he must be right now," Mike said as he carded his fingers through his hair. Mitchell couldn't help but glare at him, because there were so many things that he was never going to forgive the Johnsons for, and Axl nearly killing Anders was one of those, even if it had been an accident.

"Yeah, you do that and then let us know," Olaf nodded and then left the bar with Ty and Mitchell.

They used Anders' SUV, Ty was driving and Olaf was sat into the passenger's seat beside him while Mitchell was riding in the backseat with Anders lying with his head in his lap. The ride was awfully silent, except when Anders would wake up and Mitchell would whisper to him to go back to sleep.

When they made it to the flat Ty helped Mitchell undress Anders and wipe away the dried up blood from his neck and chest.

"I've had many kinky dreams but... This is a weird one, I'm being undressed by not only my hot as hell boyfriend, but my handsome brother too! What is this," Anders slurred and chuckled with heavy lidded eyes; both men squinted down at him.

"What are you on about?" Ty scoffed and Mitchell shook his head.

"Don't listen to him, he gets even creepier when he's tired or drunk," the vampire sighed and Anders groaned.

"That's not nice– Not a nice thing to say, my angel..." Anders furrowed his brows and blinked his eyes open to stare up at Mitchell "You really are my angel, have I ever told you that?"

Mitchell widened his eyes and felt heat rushing up to his cheeks "Just go to sleep, weirdo," Anders smiled dopey at his words but actually took his advice and went back to sleep. Ty was smirking smugly and Mitchell couldn't help but punch him in the shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Stop smiling like an idiot, then!" Mitchell growled lowly as he felt his face burning up.

Ty chuckled and shook his head "He really does love you," Mitchell smiled sheepishly and looked down at Anders.

"I love him, too." the vampire sighed, then looked at his bloody hands "Ugh, I need to get this off," he grimaced as he got out of the bedroom, followed by Ty who needed to wash his hands, too.

"Is he alright?" Olaf asked from above his glass of scotch.

"He should be," Ty shrugged and stepped into the bathroom with Mitchell.

"So what happened, exactly?" Mitchell began as he started rubbing his hands clean with a ridiculous amount of liquid soap.

"Well," Ty sighed and squirted some soap on his hands, as well "Axl found out about he and Gaia having sex, so he went ballistic and literally tossed him across the room as if he was a freaking rag doll."

Mitchell pursed his lips and shook his head "Of course he thinks it's Anders' fault only," he muttered "how would he like it if I went and took my anger out on Gaia?" he growled lowly as he rinsed his hands under the tap.

"I know, he made a mistake," Ty pursed his lips "but Anders should have watched his tongue and not be unnecessarily graphic about the whole thing. I don't think you would have liked to hear what he said to Axl as he tried to justify what happened."

Mitchell looked up at Ty, grinding his teeth and flaring his nostrils in response.

"Still I know that Axl should have controlled himself, violence is never the right answer, but he's Odin, and that's probably the calmest reaction he could get as he found out that his fiancée knobbed his brother twice."

"Twice? What are you talking about?" Mitchell furrowed his brows and widened his eyes "It was a one time thing, they fucked once!"

Ty's jaw dropped in realization "Oh fuck, you didn't know..."

Mitchell froze, feeling his heart drop into his stomach and the roof falling onto his head. Twice, they had fucked twice and Anders had kept it from him, just like that. "I need you and Olaf to go."

"Mitchell, please... Don't do stupid things, just–"

"I said I need you and Olaf to go, _now._" Mitchell snarled.

Ty mentally slapped himself, if he had kept his mouth shut Mitchell wouldn't have been so furious, he would have never forgiven himself if he had caused trouble between his brother and his boyfriend. Still he stepped out of the bathroom and took the glass away from Olaf's hand "We gotta go."

"What? Why? Give me that back!" the oracle tried to protest, but Ty glared at him and he surrendered "I got such bossy grandsons," he sighed as he followed Ty out of the apartment.

When Mitchell heard the front door shut he got out of the bathroom and walked towards the bedroom, he didn't step inside, he just hovered by the door. As he stared at Anders, peacefully sleeping, all curled up under the covers, Mitchell began to think about something that he definitely didn't like, but that he thought it was the only thing to do.

_**To be continued...**_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **So yeah, apparently I'm managing to get shit done even on vacation with my parents! LEKJLAKTJ I'm a good author. So thank you all again for the support, the comments and the compliments, I hope I won't fail you and yeah... Just enjoy this painful chapter.

* * *

_Give it up, give it up, my friend.  
The score is settled even if you won't admit.  
Set it down, final hour without a doubt, it's over when it's over.  
So please, please, just let me make my peace.  
I refuse to let your words be the death of me.  
Please, please, just let me live my life.  
Stop living in my shadow and just make it right.  
It's over, make it right. _

**It's over when it's over ; Falling in Reverse.**

* * *

Being a vampire certainly did help endure a sleepless night, but Mitchell definitely didn't like the thoughts that were swimming through his head and keeping him up all night. He spent a good couple of hours sitting on the bed where his boyfriend lay asleep, making sure that the powers of the Norse Tree of Life weren't going to magically fade away and leave Anders to die.

Mitchell found completely absurd the fact that Anders had risked meeting his death twice in such a short span of time, and that made him think even more about how dangerous their lives as supernatural beings were, reinforcing his conviction that after all they should have never even crossed paths in the first place. An extremely painful decision, he knew, but everything was washing down the drain and no matter the tears burning in the corners of his eyes, he had to take a step back and let Anders live the life he was supposed to.

Of course Mitchell loved him, loved him so much that it physically hurt him, but he didn't know for how long he was going to bear with that insane situation, and no matter how hard it was going to be Mitchell had to put a stop to all of that.

He stared at Anders' features in the dim moonlight that was filtering through the curtains, and he couldn't hold back the tear that rolled down his cheek as he thought about the fact that he wasn't going to see Anders' dimples anymore, wasn't going to watch him smile, listen to his laugh, hear his moans and the particular way in which the vampire's name rolled off his tongue. He wasn't going to hold him anymore, wasn't going to make love to him any longer and he was never going to kiss those beautiful lips again and those gorgeous eyes, he wasn't going to lose himself into them ever again. All those thoughts were so painful and horrible that made him feel dizzy and nauseous, but soon enough things would have started to get better, yes, he had a plan and even if it went against all his principles it was the only thing he could do – or at least, that's what he had managed to convince himself of.

–

Anders woke up the morning after feeling slightly faint and lightheaded, but after all he had suffered a major blood loss the day before so it couldn't really be helped. He sat up slowly to avoid any dizziness and rubbed his eyes for a good twenty seconds before he could realize, much to his horror, that Mitchell's stuff wasn't around anymore.

"What the..." Anders slung his legs over the edge of the bed on Mitchell's side, scanning the room with widened eyes and knitted brows. Nothing, there was absolutely none of Mitchell's belongings lying about in the room and the more he realized this, the faster his heart raced into his chest and hammered into his ears. "Mitchell?" Anders called out as he scrambled up to his feet only to call out louder "Mitchell!"

"I'm in the living room," came the awfully monotone response.

Anders stormed out of the room looking equal parts disheveled and infuriated "What the fuck is going on?" it wasn't really like Anders normally hid his accent, but when he was seriously mad it came out stronger than ever, much like it happened to Mitchell.

Mitchell was prepared for every kind of reaction – or so he liked to think – so he tried to stay calm "We need to talk, Anders."

"You're damn fucking right, we need to!" Anders sneered, feeling the vein on his neck throbbing violently. As he briefly glanced away from the vampire he noticed the bags lying against the front door and he did a double take, feeling his heart sinking lowly into his stomach. "What the fuck is going on, John?" his voice was weaker now, but he tried to keep it as straight as possible.

Mitchell's lips tightened as he searched for the right way to start off the conversation, but he found that there really wasn't one, everything about that situation was all kinds of wrong and painful.

"So?" Anders pressed with raised eyebrows and a challenging tone.

"This can't possibly work," Mitchell started, his voice weak and hushed, he sounded so unconvinced that he wanted to smack himself across the face.

Anders blinked, freezing for a moment, then shook his head "No... No, you won't give me this crap, we're better than this crap. We're different, for fuck's sake!"

Mitchell took Anders' words as a cue to make his point "Yeah Anders, we are different. We're not human," he scoffed "I mean look at us, you're coming straight out of Norse Mythology and I'm freaking Dracula!"

"And you've realized this when? Now? Overnight?" Anders cocked his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

"There's no need to be so snarky," Mitchell frowned and shook his head "I mean, we will never have a normal life. We will never be like mortals, humans or whatever the fuck we wanna call them!"

Anders couldn't help but scoff, not entirely taking Mitchell's words as seriously as he should have "Who the fuck wants to be ordinary like everyone else, anyway?"

Mitchell shook his head "You don't see my point."

"Then show me your point! Fucking enlighten me!" Anders bursted.

Mitchell had certainly considered that as the more obvious reaction he was going to get from Anders, so he wasn't really phased. "You fucked Gaia again, and you didn't tell me."

Anders' expression changed and so did the color of his face as he turned paler and swallowed thickly "What?"

Mitchell huffed, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry "Don't play dumb, it won't work."

Anders looked away, grinding his teeth as panic went back thrumming across his body "I..." he licked his lips as he gathered up the courage to speak in his defense "I did, yes. I fucked her again, but like the first time, I didn't like it. It's just... So horrible, it's like there's a voice in my head," Anders pressed his own index against his temple as he looked at Mitchell "and it's screaming at me. Telling me that I need to be with her, and..." he grimaced as he wrapped an arm around himself "It's just so fucking horrible because I hate her, I can't stand her and-and I love you but–" Anders couldn't go on, words got stuck in the back of his throat and he just shrugged and moved his other arm around his own body as well.

Mitchell didn't need him to finish talking, didn't need to explain, the look into Anders' eyes spoke volumes and anyway the vampire had got the picture by then. He gulped and threaded his fingers through his hair as he went on speaking again "See, I can't live in a world where you crave someone that is not me. I can't possibly live with the fact that even after we've made love you'll still need her to be satisfied."

Anders' eyes widened and he shook his head "That's not true! I only want and need you!"

Mitchell pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed "Anders I know that, but Bragi will never let you," he shrugged "This will always be like a dog chasing his own tail, even if Gaia gives up her powers, or if she dies, Idunn will come back straight away and you'll wanna fuck the next vessel, too!"

Anders was at a loss of words, thing that rarely happened to him but that's what Mitchell did to the God of poetry.

"This is bigger than you, bigger than both of us and really... We won't be able to overcome this because I'll just become more and more insane with jealousy. I already am insane with jealousy because I love you so fucking much, but there's just no way to make this fucking work!"

Anders felt panic getting the best of him in a way that he had never experienced before, not even when his father beat his mother and sometimes even him or his brothers, not even when Axl had tossed him on that pile of rubbish. "John, don't do this to me," he shook his head, eyes bright and pleading "you can't, you promised you wouldn't leave me."

Mitchell thought he was prepared for the heartache, but he really wasn't "I never meant for this to happen, Anders."

Anders closed the distance between them taking a couple steps ahead and cupping the vampire's cheeks "You fucking make my useless existence worth something, you can't leave me!"

Mitchell shut his eyes for a moment, flaring his nostrils as he listened "Your existence _is_ worthy, you're a wonderful person but no one, not even you can see past your attitude. Past your armor." he opened his eyes once he was done speaking only to see a pair of blue eyes staring right back at him, tears quickly forming into them. "You're more of a better person than I'll ever be," he added as he detached Anders' hands from his face, not letting go of them just yet.

"Please don't start with the monster thing," Anders groaned as he dropped his head.

"But I am a monster, Anders. There's no escaping from that. Like you can't escape Idunn, if you're Bragi."

Mitchell shrugged, and for the first time Anders realized how exhausted the vampire looked.

"Are you having withdrawals again?" Anders furrowed his brows and rubbed quickly at his eyes, drying the tears that were still just forming into them.

Mitchell sighed "It's the jealousy and the anger... I can't do this anymore, I heard Ty's heart hammering inside my head, when he told me about you and Gaia. His blood was louder than his words and I had to make him leave–"

Anders scoffed "Ty told you? Fucking hell..."

Mitchell furrowed his brows "That's not something you can just keep buried under six feet of dirt, it was gonna come out sooner or later."

"You didn't tell me about your hunger either," Anders pursed his lips, truly hoping that changing the topic would change Mitchell's mind too. "That isn't something you can bury just like that, too."

"No, you're right. I can't," Mitchell shook his head, much to Anders surprise, then went on "I've been fooling myself all this time. Thinking that I could really be with someone and feel normal, thinking that something good could ever happen to me." He was starting to get fired up now, his voice was louder even if it shook with the emotion "I'm a damned soul, nothing good can ever happen to me and you know what? I deserve it, for all the bad things I've done, all the grief I've caused."

Anders pulled a face, feeling his tears fill up his eyes all over again "So I'm... I'm just another one of the bad things that has happened to you? Just 'cause I've got no control over this–" he pulled a face as he motioned to himself with both hands "–this thing? You of all people should know how hard it is to control an urge!" Anders bursted, and this time his voice was raising, too.

Mitchell's chest tightened at those words and he shook his head "No! No, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me in over a century!" he cried "Can't you see? It's just... Good things don't last for me, they just don't! And this Idunn and Bragi bullshit is proof of it."

Anders was listening and he did understand and see Mitchell's point but he refused the situation, refused whatever was happening to him and his relationship. "We can work this out! I will do whatever it takes for us to be together!" he widened his eyes at a sudden realization "I could do what Ty did! I could get rid of Bragi, that would solve it, eh?"

Mitchell scoffed, a bitter smile curling his lips "Yeah, sure. Become human, so that I'll crave your blood and I'll end up killing you in our sleep," he shook his head and this time Anders couldn't seem to find the right answer, so Mitchell went on "There's nothing else we can do, this is too huge for either of us."

The distraught look on Anders' face didn't certainly help the pain within Mitchell's heart, and so did his words "I can't believe you're giving up on us!" Anders growled, he sincerely didn't know whether to be sad, angry or disgusted, and maybe he was feeling all those things at the same time. "You said that you weren't gonna leave me, that I was your savior... If you really meant all of that you wouldn't leave me like this!"

Mitchell screwed his eyes shut and ground his teeth as he felt his patience slip his control "What part of 'this is bigger than us' you don't get? I do love you, but you're a God, for fuck's sake, and you got a quest to fulfill with your family! And... I nearly got you killed, and there's always someone or something stepping between us and fucking us up!" he only realized that he had been shouting when he saw the shock in Anders' eyes and felt the soreness in his throat.

"Then go, fuck off... Abandon me, if you think that this will be good for us," Anders' voice cracked as he gestured towards the front door "Just know that you'll damage me more by leaving."

Mitchell gulped "I didn't mean to yell," he bowed his head slightly in shame "I love you, Anders. I really do, but you'll always want Gaia more than me and–"

Anders growled, cutting Mitchell off before shoving him towards the door "Fuck you, your love, your fangs, bloody Gaia and this fucking Gods bullshit!" he slammed his fist into Mitchell's chest and looked up at him with bloodshot eyes "Just fucking get out of my face!" he snarled lowly as he forced himself to not cry in front of him.

Mitchell held back his tears as well and didn't react to Anders' anger burst, he had all the rights to be furious, so the vampire just picked up his bags and left the flat, letting his tears flow once the door had been slammed shut behind him.

Anders stared at the door feeling completely numb, it was like he had been dreaming up until then and now he had suddenly jerked awake, but that wasn't a dream, he had really lost the love of his life. He hadn't computed what had really happened yet, the last moments of their conversation had felt too surreal, it was as if Anders had been watching it from a corner of the room – a bad movie with an equally bad ending.

It wasn't until three minutes later that Anders realized he was shaking and he had troubles breathing.  
Was he dying? Was really that it? He was gonna die after breaking up with Mitchell?

"Shit..." Anders steadied himself against the wall and then quickly scanned the room to see if his phone was around, once he'd found it he searched for Ty's number with trembling fingers and tried to take as many deep breaths as he could.

_"Hey bro, how are you f–"_

"I think I'm dying," Anders groaned into the phone as he rested back against a wall.

_"Whoa, what? What are you talking about?"_

"I-I can't... Breathe! Please, come over!" the blond panted as he scrubbed a hand across his eyes, still trying idly to breathe normally.

_"You're not dying! Where's Mitchell, anyway?"_

Anders didn't even have the strength to answer that, he just let out a long groan and pressed his hand harder against his eyes, trying to keep his tears from falling. There was a brief pause and a couple of whispered curses, then Ty's voice came back.

_"Me and Olaf are on our way, Anders. Try to stay calm, alright?"_

"Please, just hurry," Anders' voice cracked as he struggled to gulp down the knot in his throat.

_"I'm already in the van, we'll be there in a minute."_

Anders didn't reply and just hung up, nearly dropping his phone as his whole body was shaken by a violent shiver. He let himself slide to the floor and buried his face in his hands as he started to replay the past few minutes in his head. It was true when people said that he was nothing but a prick, he felt indeed like a wanker who had thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to him. Mitchell was gone, the only person who had ever loved him for who he was had left him, and even if he had claimed that Anders wasn't a mistake the blond was sure that he actually did regret wasting his time with him.

The more he realized what had happened, the more conscious of Mitchell not coming back the more Anders felt his lungs tighten and his chest ached like someone had punched him with all their strength.

He didn't know for how long he'd been sitting on the floor, wheezing with his head in his hands, but suddenly he was badly startled by a couple of voices that were calling out for him. He looked up and saw Ty kneeling in front of him and Olaf standing right beside him.

"Anders? Anders what happened, bro?" Ty asked with knitted brows.

"He-He left... He said that there was no way we–" a dry sob escaped Anders control while he struggled to suck oxygen into his lungs.

"He's having a panic attack, we need to make him breathe," Olaf suggested as he saw how Anders was gasping for the air that he just didn't seem to be able to inhale.

"I know, grandpa," Ty looked up at him briefly, then went back to Anders "Anders, bro, you need to take really deep breaths with me, alright? So that you can tell us what happened." Ty spoke softly, as he carefully placed his hand on his brother's shoulder.

Anders shook his head, letting out another choked sob "This is a heart attack, I know it, I'm gonna die!" he cried out as he grasped Ty's shirt desperately.

Olaf frowned and shook his head, he bent his knees a little so that he was nearly to Anders' level "This isn't a heart attack, Anders... It's an heartbreak."

Anders looked at his grandfather horrified, his nostrils quivered and all of a sudden he let himself break down and finally cry. He cried hard, sobbing and groaning like he probably had never done in his whole life. Ty pulled him into a tight hug, gently rocking him back and forth as he rubbed soothing circles into the small of his back.

"Let it out, Anders. It's alright." Ty reassured him as he kept holding him. He looked up at Olaf who frowned down at him and straightened back up to make Anders a hot cup of chamomile for when he was going to calm down a bit.

Anders cried and shook into Ty's arms for what felt like forever, until he was completely drained of all his strength, until his eyes were red and swollen and his sobbing had simmered down to hiccuping, and that's when he finally let go of Ty's shirt and rubbed furiously at his wet eyes. "I can't believe I cried like a fucking baby... This is so fucking pathetic, _I_ am fucking pathetic!"

Ty huffed and shook his head "You're only human, Anders."

"Weren't I supposed to be a fucking God? Or rather, _the_ God who cannot stop himself from shoving his dick inside of Idunn?" Anders' voice cracked again as he pressed his knuckles against his eyes "My head's throbbing and spinning, fuck," he whined as he pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead against them.

Ty sighed and went back to stroke his back "Anders I'm so sorry."

A lightbulb flickered on inside of Anders' head and he punched Ty's shoulder with the poor strength he had left "You should fucking be! You told him I fucked Gaia again! He left me because of that!" he growled as he tried to punch his brother again, but this time Ty blocked him before he could land a hit.

"First off, stop hitting me, you dick!" Ty glared at him as he held him by his fist "Second... I'm truly, truly sorry that I said that, it just slipped! I thought he knew!"

"Well he didn't! And now he's gone! Forever!" Anders cried as he twisted his hand out of Ty's grip "He was the only good thing that had happened to me and now–" he shook his head and covered his face with his hands all over again.

Ty didn't want to roll his eyes at his brother's grief, but he really couldn't help it "I'm sorry I made the mistake of telling him, but do you really think that he was never going to find out?"

Anders frowned and glared at his brother, hating the fact that he was of course right "Shut up, he nearly drank you." Anders blinked confused at his completely irrelevant reply, he had needed to come up with something snarky – or similar – that would have let him feel a bit better about himself.

Ty furrowed his brows and tilted his head slightly "What?!"

Anders didn't have the chance to answer though, because his grandfather was patting him on the head.

"C'mon, get up. Take your arse to the couch," Olaf said as he moved to set the steamy mug of chamomile onto the coffee table, before taking a seat on one of the couches.

Ty got back up to his feet and offered his brother a hand, Anders looked up at it, sighed and then held onto it as he let Ty help him stand. Anders' legs felt still weak and wobbly but he managed to reach the couch on which he and his brother plopped down.

"Are you sure that he isn't coming back?" Ty knew that Anders would have reacted badly to that question, but he still needed to try asking it.

"I'm not stupid Ty, I wouldn't... What happened just a moment ago–" Anders didn't exactly blush but he was still embarrassed "Plus do you see his shit around the house?" Anders gestured around the room and scoffed "He packed all night, probably. He dumped my sorry arse and took off." Anders shook his head as he looked down at the mug in his hands "I knew love was just bullshit, why the shit have I even bothered?" he growled lowly as he brought the cup to his lips.

Ty pursed his lips as he listened to his brother, then sighed at his last sentence "Love always looks like bullshit once you lose it."

"He never really loved me, if he did he'd still be here," Anders grimaced.

It was Olaf's turn to speak, so he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared at Anders. "Generally, nothing good can come out for any other being that isn't a god when they cross paths with a god. Especially if we talk about relationships," then he raised his eyebrows as he added "'specially if the God in question is Bragi and he has found his Idunn."

Anders refrained from tossing the mug with the scorching hot beverage to his grandfather's face, but he ground his teeth and slammed it down on the coffee table, spilling a good part of the chamomile all over it. Ty jumped, startled by the gesture, while Olaf reared back not to be hit by the hot drops.

"I'm done with all this bullshit! This being Gods and all the rest!" Anders bursted as he ran both hands through his hair "We're all shit Gods, anyway."

Olaf raised his brows and rested back against the couch "Not me, God of rebirth!" he grinned, then shrugged a shoulder "You've got a pretty awesome power yourself, Anders. Just give in to it again, be happy."

Anders looked at Olaf as if he was mental "I'm gonna smack you in the face, grandpa. Do you realize how much shit being fucking Bragi is causing? To everyone, not just me."

"Then give up your powers," Ty cut in with raised brows "I've been great since Hod's left."

Olaf snorted "Apart from the fact that Dawn doesn't remember you..." he smirked as he laced his fingers behind his head.

Ty glared at him as he replied "She will, I'm working on it."then he looked back at his brother "Think about it, Gaia won't be attracted to you anymore. She'll be happy with Axl," both Ty and Anders ignored the noise of disapproval that came from their grandfather "and you'll be happy with Mitchell."

Anders sighed, because it all sounded perfect, just like he had already thought, still he couldn't do it. "I've told him about it, because it had already occurred to me, but he said it would be useless 'cause at that point he could well snap and drink my blood." he shrugged "There's just no getting out of this."

Olaf sighed and stretched out his arms "Mitchell left to let you live the life you're supposed to as a God, as Bragi. It's an incredible act of love."

Anders licked his lips, deeply irritated by his grandfather's words "Why don't you fuck off? Haven't you got waves to ride or something? Just go."

Olaf raised his brows "Whoa alright, I know when I'm not welcome. I'll leave you youngsters to it." he clapped his own thighs and stood up "Just make sure to use your brains," and with these last words he left the apartment.

Anders pulled his feet up on the cushions and rubbed at his face "What am I gonna do, now?"

Ty frowned and clapped his shoulder "You'll manage, I'll help."

Anders grimaced "Fuck off."

–

Mitchell didn't know for how long he'd been walking around aimlessly, vision half-blurred by his tears, arms slumping with the weight of his bags. He had a sick feeling to his stomach and felt like an iron fist was clutching at his chest as his head kept pounding with the knowledge that he had lost everything, not only his life and the love of his life, but also all the humanity he had left was completely ready to be given up.

He felt every fiber of his body on fire, his veins were burning and his limbs were aching because fuck, he was so hungry and he knew that sooner or later someone was going to bump into him and meet their death.

Pain, anger, jealousy, those were the feelings that had triggered the most violent of withdrawals and this time he had nothing to lose, he wanted to give in and forget everything, drown all his misery in thick, warm blood.

He didn't want to think about Anders, didn't want to think about the friends he had made but his mind just wouldn't stop shoving faces, voices and memories in front of his eyes; a kiss, a smile, a flash of pale blue irises and that's all it took for Mitchell to crouch down in the corner of an alley and break down in miserable cries and chest wracking sobs.

He was still telling himself that there wasn't a different solution, that he had taken the best decision for both of them, especially for Anders who had finally rid himself of the blood craving monster that he called his boyfriend. But God it hurt so much, it physically pained him to remind himself that he had lost Anders and all the plans they had of a beautiful and possibly eternal life together for good. He just stayed there, crouched on the pavement, finally allowing himself to cry so hard that he dry-heaved a couple of times and the back of his eyes hurt so much he wanted to gauge them out with his bare thumbs.

But this was the right decision, even if it was so painful and horrible, or at least it had to be, it was the promise of a better life for Anders as Mitchell surrendered completely to his nature, to his curse.

"Oh God, you're a mess. Let me help you."

A hand was placed over his shoulder at last, and deep inside he had waited for that moment since when he had left the flat. He looked up into a pair of warm hazel eyes, making out the gentle features of a man in his mid-thirties through the tears and Mitchell nodded as his pupils dilated slightly and the hammering sound of the man's heartbeat filled his ears and head.

"Good, can you stand up?" the guy asked in a soft voice and Mitchell nodded again.

"Yeah, yeah I can." the vampire got up to his feet slowly, swallowing thickly as the smell of blood grazed his nostrils and his predatory senses kicked in, sharpening his sight and sense of smell, as well as his hearing. Every nerve of his body was awake, every cell longing to feed, he just needed to wait for the right moment and the right place.

"Alright, is there someone I could call for you? A relative or maybe a friend?"

Those words nearly made Mitchell lose it, but it still wasn't time, he still had to wait to lure his prey into a more secure place "No," he shook his head "No one." the guy seemed genuinely heartbroken by that answer, and it made Mitchell's lips curve into a bitter smile.

"I'm sorry," the man frowned and then looked down at Mitchell's bags "Oh... Bad breakup?"

Wow, this dude was definitely pushing all the wrong buttons. Mitchell's eye twitched and he quickly scanned their surroundings to see how bad it would have been if he'd kill him right there and then. "You could say that," he sighed, still managing to keep up his normal human being act.

"Sucks, mate. I've been through that, too." the guy clapped a hand on Mitchell's shoulder, making him flare his nostrils slightly "How about I offer you a beer? It's not much, but maybe it'll make you feel better?"

Mitchell didn't know whether he should laugh or think that he was being hit on, either way the promise of beer followed by a nice feed sounded perfect. Or maybe he was just going to go for the blood, depending on where they were going to go. "I'd be a twat to turn down free beer."

The man smiled and laughed softly "I'm Ryan," he announced as he offered Mitchell his hand.

"Jake." precaution, even if he knew that Ryan wasn't going to tell anyone his real name, Mitchell still thought it safer to go for fake information with his victims. He shook his prey's hand with a cruel smirk, then picked up his bags and walked with him along the sidewalk.

Luckily they didn't speak much, and when they did Mitchell kept making all sorts of answers and facts up, trying to keep his instinct at bay. He really had to bite back a cry of victory when he found out that the pub they were headed to was located near a back alley, it was the perfect place to feed in.

"You got a smoke, mate?" Mitchell wasn't going to beat around the bush, he wanted to drink blood and quick.

"Sure, yeah." Ryan patted his pockets, then fished a pack of Chesterfield Red from the left pocket of his jacket and offered one to the vampire, along with the lighter. "I think I might as well join you," he shrugged a shoulder as he pulled a cigarette out of the pack before shoving it back into the pocket.

Mitchell smiled "Cheers," he placed the stick between his lips and lit it up. He casually started wandering towards the back alley, trying to just seem curious about the surroundings.

"Yeah, there's really nothing interesting there," Ryan said in a nasal voice as he inhaled a deep drag of tobacco.

Mitchell shrugged, not turning around until he was halfway into the alley "It does seem like a nice, quiet place though."

Ryan perked up slightly, feeling an irrational urge to follow Mitchell into the dim light of the alley and actually did so, as he walked slowly towards the vampire. That was it, that was Mitchell channeling his _inner Bragi_ – or so to speak – as the vampiric charm lured the chosen victim into his web. Mitchell dropped his bags on the floor along with the cigarette, he stepped over it and smirked at Ryan once he had stopped in front of him.

"I'm not the kind of guy who does this sort of things, normally," Ryan chuckled nervously, but Mitchell could clearly see how thrilled he actually was.

"There's always a first time for everything," Mitchell smirked as he felt his demonic side violently shoving his humanity aside. He placed a hand on the back of Ryan's head and pulled him into a hard, hungry kiss, to which the guy responded with the same enthusiasm.

Something happened during the kiss, and it was basically Mitchell's heart reacting, it wanted to reject what was going on, making him pull away from that person that he didn't care about, that person that wasn't Anders. Mitchell felt sick to the stomach and a shiver shook his body, but he huffed sharply from his nostrils and focused on his inhuman side. He tilted his head to lick and kiss the salt from Ryan's neck, feeling the blood pumping fast through the jugular and in that moment his humanity was long lost – Mitchell threw his head back, allowing his eyes to turn black and his fangs to come out of his gums and in less than a moment he was piercing the thin skin of Ryan's neck.

The guy couldn't even scream, his voice got stuck in the back of his throat as his eyes rolled in the back of his head and his body quickly weakened, so much that Mitchell had to hold him up in place as he slumped into his arms.

Mitchell drained his victim of all his blood, not even spilling a droplet of that precious nectar, he drank with the same passion he used during sex, his tongue worked on the wound just like it would work on his lover's sex and the taste of blood definitely felt like a good orgasm.

"Oh, that's right. John Mitchell, the vampire Jesus. The Lapsed! He-who-never-will-drink-human-blood-again!"

That voice, he knew it, Mitchell had heard it before and it made him freeze and drop Ryan's lifeless body on the ground. He slowly turned around, nose, mouth and chin dripping with blood "Wallace..." he breathed out as his eyes went back to their natural brown color.

"It's nice to see you again, too." the other vampire's laugh echoed through the small alley.

"What the fuck do you want?" Mitchell wiped his face on the sleeve of his jacket.

"Just a small offer, I only want to help an hungry, fellow vampire out." Noah arched up a brow, a look of fake innocence painted over his ageless face.

Mitchell snorted "I don't trust offers, especially coming from other vampires."

"It doesn't really seem like you're in the right position to turn down offers," Noah gestured towards the cadaver at Mitchell's feet.

"I won't work for you, I don't wanna go back to how it was with Herrick," Mitchell stressed out right away.

Wallace shrugged a shoulder and pursed his lips "Just an alliance, then? I wouldn't be your boss, but you could help us out with our preys and all the rest," then he jerked his head towards Ryan again "bodies disposals and such, you'll have police protection, same old, same old."

Mitchell flared his nostrils and clutched his fists as he stared insistently into Noah's eyes. He had nothing to lose, really, he had lost everything already "You still leave the Johnsons alone."

Noah broke into a crooked grin "You have my word."

Mitchell wasn't exactly sure that it was a good idea, but the last brilliant one he had had brought him to that point, so he might as well just give in... Again.

_**To be continued...**_


	6. Chapter 6

_I've been thinking lots about my life and  
How quick I'd wash it down the drain  
Past tense the future, nothing matters now  
I act on my own and I'm to blame  
Living's a wicked dream, where things turn out all wrong  
We're all so weak, no matter how strong, yeah_

_I tried running away from me_  
_Convince me that I've grown, but I can't_  
_Change so unnaturally, Demons they follow me_  
_I quit running away from me_  
_Convinced that I have grown, but found out_  
_All my reasons for insanity, all a part of me_

**Demons ; Avenged Sevenfold**

* * *

Mitchell knew that being part of a clan wasn't going to work for him but he didn't have much of a choice, at least at first. He definitely could use the coverage and protection of the police, just like he very much needed a roof over his head that didn't cost him anything, because of course he had to quit his job, he couldn't keep working in the same place as Gaia and Michele, that just wasn't going to happen. Maybe one day he was going to find a new job, but he was alright like he was for the time being.

Noah seemed to be honoring the deal, not bossing Mitchell around but only asking for his help during hunts, fights against the occasional enemies – not that they had many, even Kiwi vampires were just as laid-back as human Kiwis – but the few times he was asked to recruit Mitchell harshly refused, thing that more than once lead to arguments between he and Noah. Wallace thought it was utter bullshit, he really didn't know why it was such a big deal for Mitchell to turn humans into vampires, he had done it before and he had been with the clan for nearly two months now, he was technically part of the family – And boy, did Mitchell shudder at the word _'family'_ every single time.

Nearly two months with the clan and Mitchell had sunk his fangs into so many necks he couldn't even count them anymore, he stuffed himself full of blood until he was completely drunk on it and he couldn't remember a thing, feeling invincible and untouchable. Still it just wasn't working, no matter how many gallons he knocked back the high lasted only for a few hours, then the misery came back, all the pain and the memories and the regret, how much he loved Anders and fuck... His guts wouldn't stop telling him that Anders was just in as much pain as he was.

Noah could tell that there was something wrong with Mitchell and he didn't like it, he wanted his ally strong, cruel and uninhibited, lethal and ready to kill and be the vampire he was supposed to be. Mitchell didn't act like that enough for Noah's taste, no matter how hard Mitchell faked, no matter the times in which he cold-bloodedly killed his victims Noah watched Mitchell crawl back into his chambers looking distraught – well that wasn't vampiric at all, he could clearly see why Herrick was so fed up with the infamous John Mitchell.

Mitchell complained a lot, sometimes because he was just so high on blood that he couldn't help but criticize and try bossing around everyone, and other times because his human side kicked in and he just couldn't stand his own kind. Noah was starting to think of Mitchell as a thorn in his side, deciding to ask him to join the clan was starting to feel like one of his worst ideas, because Mitchell brought more trouble than good things in his nest and Noah hated chaos.

The clock was ticking, and for the leader of the Auckland vampires it was time to make his move.

–

Since he refused to recruit, a few too many times Mitchell had found himself having to babysit newly recruited vampires, which were the deadliest kind of vampires, constantly hungry and not caring about the right way to kill and feed, wanting blood quickly and always making a mess.

Mitchell tried to not complain too much and do his teaching job, after all he knew way too well what it feels like to be turned into a vampire, everything is so new and equal parts frightening and exciting, but then there's the hunger that just won't go away, not even with the first feed.

One night Mitchell was out hunting with his small group of newborns, two girls and the campest boy he had ever met – and who had shamelessly and repeatedly hit on Mitchell since the first time he had laid eyes on him – walking the darkest back alleys of Auckland to search for the right victims. Mitchell knew there was another couple vampires hunting not too far from that area and he didn't like it, these vampires hunted only twice a week but some nights it turned into a carnage and he really didn't think it was the right way to act if they wanted humans to still be oblivious to the existence of vampires.

The newborns were too chatty and excited for Mitchell, talking constantly about how dangerous they were and daring one another to do stupid things that had Mitchell groaning and scolding them every time.

How did he end up babysitting that bunch of idiots?

Mitchell was just trying to tune out the annoying chatting around him when he heard something that caught his attention, and not in a good way, not too far from them. It was a pair of panicked voices that Mitchell knew way too well and made him snap out of his dark side, his eyes widened and he felt his heart sink to his stomach.

"Sounds like Dave and Maud found some dinner," the girl with the long brown hair commented as she rested back against a dirty wall. She looked annoyed, but at the same time was eying the raven haired girl as if she wanted to tear off her clothes right there and then.

"Fuck 'em, we'll find some too, soon, right Mitchell?" the guy leaned against Mitchell and he none too gently pushed him away.

"You all stay here or I'll stake you myself," Mitchell snarled as he took off running in the direction of the voices, leaving three puzzled young vampires behind him.

Fuck, he had told Noah that the Johnsons were off limits but he should know that he had meant also the people close to them. Luckily Mitchell wasn't too late when he saw the male vampire of the couple leering over Gaia all bared fangs and pitch black eyes, he knew Zeb was being toyed with, but Gaia was about to get killed so Mitchell all but launched himself at David, raising panic amongst both the preys and predator.

"Mitchell! What the fuck is wrong with you?" the guy cried out as he tried to push Mitchell away "I though you hated that little bitch!" he jerked his chin towards Gaia.

Mitchell hissed and growled, his fangs out and threatening as he stood back up "You don't come near this people, I had told Noah about this," Mitchell sneered in the direction of the girl who was still holding Zeb by his throat, she let go of him and the boy began to cough and wheeze. "Just fuck off, both of you, and take my youngsters with you."

"You're ridiculous, Mitchell!" Maud chimed in "You're one of the greatest vampires who ever lived, yet you lose your greatness with all these stupid human feelings," she spat as she pulled a face "you're pathetic."

Mitchell flared his nostrils "You know nothing about me," he then gestured for the alley he came from to add "just piss off and do as you've been told."

The vampires hissed at him in annoyance but obliged, after all Mitchell was stronger and older than them and they really couldn't complain much.

"Dude, you..." Zeb didn't exactly know what to say or do, he was still shocked by what had just happened to him and Gaia.

"Just go home, already." Mitchell said lowly as his fangs slipped back into his gums and his eyes turned to their normal brown again. It hurt so much to see them and be reminded of what he had given up completely on, why couldn't he just forget and not care like every other vampire?

"Mitchell," Gaia dared placing her hand on the vampire's arm, making his head snap in her direction and panting an incredulous expression on his face "Mitchell, I'm so, so sorry for what happened, I would have never–"

Mitchell shook her hand off and interrupted her apologies "There's no point in this, I said go home."

"He's a wreck, man," Zeb cut in "he's the shadow of the person he used to be when he was with you."

Mitchell's breath hitched in his throat and he felt a nasty clutch to his chest, he knew Anders was suffering, he felt it in his guts but tried to ignore it as much as he could. Damn soul bond.

Then Gaia took over again "He loves you... So much. I know you loathe me and this is all my fault because if I hadn't become Idunn you'd still be happy and just–" a sob escaped her lips and Mitchell cringed, she was actually crying in front of him. Zeb wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close as he tried to get her to calm down.

"Go home," Mitchell repeated and shoved his fists into the pockets of his jacket, completely distraught by the meeting and the information that it brought.

"Thank you, man!"

"Thanks, Mitchell!"

Mitchell screwed his eyes shut and walked away from them faster; as soon as he would get to the nest he was definitely going to have a word with Noah.

–

So many things can happen in a month, and even more can happen in almost two.

For example your mortal brother might get so jealous over his ex girlfriend having a rude troglodyte for new boyfriend that suddenly Hod comes back to him, unexpectedly and almost illogically; but then again, if someone knew about demons never dying and always chasing back after you, that was definitely Anders.

What else can happen in all that time? Well, Ty and Dawn got back together, because apparently the return of Hod meant that memories had flown back to Dawn and reminded her of the beautiful love they'd shared. Just to add more fuel to the fire, to have a better chance with Dawn, this time, Ty had decided to let her know about the existence of Gods, Goddesses and vampires too, to explain why he had to break up with her at some point, decision that of course unleashed Mike's anger – and maybe Mike had acted a bit like a dick, but he had had all the rights to be mad, anonymity was the first rule of survival.

About all of this, Anders just couldn't find a single fuck to give, not even if he looked hard enough, he shut everyone out, especially Ty who of course couldn't shut up about how amazing it was to finally be with Dawn without harming her.

"You need to back the fuck up, Ty. Seriously, get off my case," Anders bursted one day when his brother had decided to show up at his house with sushi - _I've made it myself!_ - and beer.

"Bro, I know what you're going through, I'm here to help," Ty sighed as he placed food and booze on the table.

"You don't have to. Was I there for you when you and Dawn were over?" Anders scratched his hairy chin – yeah, two months without shaving could do that to you, too.

"No, but I definitely needed it, so I'm gonna do it for you," Ty explained, avoiding to make eye contact with his brother.

Anders froze for a moment, suddenly feeling guilty for neglecting his brother in times of need, but then again he wasn't like Ty and he didn't need to be nursed or anything. "Well I don't need you to," then he specified "I don't want you to."

Ty looked up into Anders' eyes, he was both hurt and worried but he couldn't possibly help someone who clearly didn't want to be helped. "I'm taking the beers back, but eat, alright?" he arched a brow as he eyed Anders.

Right, almost two months of barely eating and drinking like a sailor could definitely make you look like the ghost of the man you usually were. Anders snorted and shoved the box of sushi inside his fridge "I'm going out anyway, I'll eat this another time," then he gestured towards the door "now piss off, go fuck my assistant's brains out."

Ty flared his nostrils and clenched his jaw "Why can't you stop being a fucking crude prick? And stop talking about Dawn as if she's just a piece of meat, she's my girlfriend, don't fucking disrespect her!" he growled, trying to sound as threatening as he could.

If Anders didn't feel so hollow he'd probably laugh at his face, but he just stared back at him "Thanks to you your girlfriend slapped me across the face and I could lose her precious help, so I think you'd better fuck off now, Ty, I'm running out patience."

Ty would have punched him in the face but he restrained, Anders was definitely back to his old self. If only Mitchell was there to change things again... The brunet scoffed and left the apartment, slamming the door behind his back.

"Fucking finally," Anders muttered as he moved to his room to get changed.

His old routine was back with an improvement, his power had increased seemingly out of nowhere, until his grandfather had explained to him that the grief of losing the love of his life had made him grow into a man.

_"The fuck are you on about? I've been a grown up for a while now, why the fuck are you always so stoned grandpa?" Anders growled from above his lager._

_"No, you're the one who doesn't understand. Emotionally you've always been like an horny teenager who couldn't give two shits about the people he rooted," Olaf started, yeah he was stoned but not that much "loving Mitchell, changing as a person thanks to him and then losing him made you a man. Just like for Odin, you can really be a God only when you've become a man first."_

_Anders looked at him completely puzzled, at first, but then he found that his words made so much sense it was crazy._

Knowing about his power becoming stronger he decided to walk down the easiest path, the one he had always strutted upon: fucking everyone he wanted, even more than two or three people all at the same time, because Bragi could control entire groups of people now. He had a new method though, before getting his partners ready for the fun he'd tell them to completely forget him once the deed was done and over with, because he couldn't be bothered with anyone and everything was safer if they had no memories of him.

So every night he tried to drown completely into his partners for the time being, tried to tune out the world as he did what he thought he was best at. In nearly two months he could safely say that he had probably stuck his dick inside half of Auckland, and a small percentage of the male population had unknowingly stuck their dicks inside of Anders.  
But none of this made him happy, he wasn't satisfied nor pleased with what he was doing and how he was doing it, he had taken up drinking himself to sleep trying to forget what he had done with those people, but mostly trying not to see Mitchell's smile, his eyes, trying so hard to not love him, but it was impossible.

Sometimes he'd get these weird cramps and pains all through his body, at first he thought that he was just sick or that they were just random aches everyone gets, but then he started to realize that it was actually Mitchell's grief he was feeling and that terrified him. He didn't tell that to Olaf anyway, he didn't want to get all wrapped up in Gods shit any further, he just wanted to go on with his life without his family causing more drama than necessary.

It had been a lot worse to deal with Dawn, now that she had found out about him being Bragi and controlling her every now and then with his powers, and probably Anders would have put up a fight if he wasn't so depressed and completely uninterested in anything that wasn't alcohol or sex.

Dawn, on her part, wanted to be pissed at him for all the times he had probably Bragi'd her into only God knows what kind of things, but she was way more worried for his well being to hold a grudge – for now, at least.

"I know you don't wanna talk about it, but–" Dawn started suddenly, as she approached Anders' desk, but her boss promptly cut her off.

"This conversation shouldn't even start, then. You do realize it, right? So don't start it if you know that I don't wanna talk about it," Anders sneered right away, eyes fixed on his laptop as he checked his e-mails.

"Anders, you will end up killing yourself at this rate. Self-destruction leads nowhere," Dawn really couldn't stop herself from going on. She was worried about his bad drinking habit and Ty was worried too, so she felt like she needed to do something, somehow.

"Dawn," Anders pinched the bridge of his nose before actually looking up at her "this is none of your business. I'm not gonna die, and sure as hell I'm not being self-destructive." he didn't even believe his own words but he had to convince himself somehow, hadn't he? Anders _needed_ to be fine, or at least pretend to be fine, and even if he died he really didn't care at this point.

"Anders, do something! I know how much you love him, I've seen it in your eyes! There's this light that–" Dawn jumped as Anders suddenly slammed his fist into the desk.

"Shut up, Dawn, God! Shut up about him and about love!" Anders growled as he glared up at her, the vein on his neck engorged in anger. "This isn't a fucking game, this isn't about doing the great deed like Ty. This is a lot more complicated and your words won't change this situation for shit." he spat as he went back to his laptop with shaky fingers "So get back to work and only speak to me about clients."

Dawn pressed her lips together into a thin line, squaring her shoulders and looking away embarrassed after being scolded "Fine," was all she could say before she went back to her own desk. Normally she would have felt like an idiot for actually trying to put some sense into Anders' head, but the look in his eye was that of a man who was giving up – or already had given up – and that's what kept her from feeling like an idiot.

Anders watched her leave with flared nostrils, he didn't really want to snap at her, he did love Dawn but he couldn't even stand himself lately, hence there was no chance he'd stand anyone else. He rubbed at his eyes with the back of both hands, and of course once he'd opened them again he saw Gaia standing in the corner next to the window. That's right, in two months the visions had never stopped, and he had texted obscenities to Gaia way too more times than he cared to admit; in fact he picked up his cellphone right away to do just that.

_'i need you, i'm going mad. please meet me tonight.' _

If Anders had stared any longer at the text he wouldn't have sent it, and that's why he didn't even think too much before pressing the send button.

God he had become so fucking pathetic, trying to suck love or affection from the very person that had ruined everything between he and Mitchell.

The reply arrived sooner than he expected, anyway, but it made him scowl down puzzled at the screen.

_'i'm leaving new zealand for good tomorrow. it's the right thing to do, i need to stay as far as possible from gods, especially you.'_

Anders was about to type his reply when Gaia sent another text.

_'btw i saw mitchell last night, i think he's in trouble. just thought you should know.'_

Anders didn't even realize that he had stopped breathing and he nearly dropped his iPhone as he re-read the text for possibly the tenth time before actually shrugging on his jacket and leaving the office without giving Dawn an explanation or anything.

Once he was out of the building he called Gaia, she didn't pick up of course, but that didn't stop him from calling her over and over again until she actually answered.

_"Anders please, stop calling me." _

Anders scoffed "You definitely got some nerves telling me not to call after those texts. What the fuck is going on?"

"_Last night's encounter opened up my eyes."_

Anders' jaw tightened and his nostrils flared as he inhaled a deep breath through his nostrils "I don't think we should do this on the phone, where are you?"

"_No, I don't wanna see you, Anders. You perfectly know what would happen."_

"Then fucking tell me everything! Where the hell are you going? And how the shit you saw Mitchell?" Anders growled as he rested against his SUV.

"_I'm going to London. If I go we won't be obsessed with each other anymore, it's the right thing to do and you know it."_

"What about you and Axl?" Anders furrowed his brows.

"_We've talked about this, already. There's no other way."_

Anders' heart shrunk in his chest, those words sounded way too familiar.

"_But it's alright, you and Mitchell need each other way more than Axl and I do."_

Well, Anders definitely wasn't expecting that "Tell me about Mitchell, though." he heard Gaia sniff and swallow back her tears but it didn't phase him at all, he just wanted to know about his John.

"_I was out with Zeb, last night, because Axl was with Olaf and... We were attacked by two vampires."_

Anders widened his eyes "The fuck? Vampires?"

"_Yes, vampires. We would have died if Mitchell hadn't popped out of nowhere and saved us. Everything happened so fast, I could barely believe what was going on! And he knew those vampires, too."_

Anders stared down blankly at the ground, he didn't know what to say and he was pretty sure he was holding his breath again. Since he wasn't speaking, Gaia took over again.

"_He said something about... Someone called Noah? And he said that Zeb and I weren't to be touched."_

Noah? Oh God, the leader of the Auckland vampires "He's joined those vampires?" Anders' voice sounded at least an octave higher than usual, but he was feeling like someone was clutching his throat.

"_He said something about his 'youngsters', I think he might have."_

"Fuck..." Anders breathed out as he covered his eyes with a shaky hand. If Mitchell had joined them if meant that he wasn't lapsed anymore, he had started killing again. "Did... Did he say anything?"

"_No, he just... He told us to go home and then he left."_

Anders unlocked the SUV and sucked in a shuddering breath "Well uh... Thanks for telling me and... Have a safe trip, I guess?"

"_...Yeah, thank you."_

Anders nodded, even though Gaia couldn't see him and hung up. He tried to process everything he had heard, even if it was so hard to digest. Anders hoped to whatever deity that Mitchell wasn't going to get himself killed and wondered if there was anything he could do for him.

"Fuck. Just... Fuck," Anders growled to himself, nearly punching the roof of his car before climbing into the driver's seat. There actually wasn't anything he could do, but sure as hell he needed to go home and rummage through the booze cabinet.

The ride back home was horrible, he had this terrible feeling that something awful was going to happen and his head wouldn't stop pounding. Once he finally stepped into his apartment Anders eyed the bottle of scotch sitting on the coffee table and quickly walked up to it, picked it up, twisted the cap off and took a nice, big swig. He gulped it quickly, as if it was some kind of medicine that was going to numb his nerves, but when he tried to take another one he nearly dropped the bottle because of a sharp pain to his guts that had him groaning out loud.

That could only mean that something was happening to Mitchell, but he definitely wasn't expecting to be in physical pain for the next two hours.

–

Mitchell bursted into the old, abandoned brewery that was the Auckland's vampires' nest, growling as he angrily called out for Noah, his voice bouncing off the walls and echoing grotesquely through the bare corridor that led to the hall.

"Are you done shouting like a madman? How much blood did you have?" Noah asked as he stepped ahead, hands stuffed into the pockets of his well tailored suit.

"I didn't have any," Mitchell snarled lowly as he paced towards the older vampire.

"Oh, that's the problem then," Noah raised an eyebrow "you should feed more."

Mitchell growled and it took all his self-control to restrain from laying his hands on Noah "The deal is off, you crossed the line," he spat as he shook his head slowly.

Noah raised both eyebrows tonight, doing his best to look puzzled "What line? I thought I had to harm the Johnsons to break the deal, when did I do that?" he shrugged, hands still buried inside his pockets.

"David and Maud nearly fed on Gaia and Zeb, they're Axl Johnson's fiancée and his best friend and you know it way too well," Mitchell flared his nostrils as he stepped ahead, towering over Noah.

The older vampire blinked and tilted his head "They still aren't the Johnsons, right?"

Mitchell screwed his eyes shut letting out an exasperated groan as he threw his head back in frustration.

"You know what really is bad?" Noah started, an evil light glimmering in his eyes.

Mitchell scowled down at him "What?" he huffed.

"You, beating up the three newborns that I assigned to you," Noah smirked.

Mitchell grimaced at the allegation "The fuck are you on about? I didn't even lay a finger on them!" he cried incredulous, that was just absurd.

"Oh really? You didn't even touch them?"

"No! Why would I?"

"Explain this, then," Noah turned around and beckoned for someone to get out of the shade and join them into the dim light of the hall. The three young vampires appeared next to Noah, all sporting bruises and cuts of all sorts on their faces.

Mitchell widened his eyes "What the hell happened to you?"

The youngsters didn't say anything, they didn't even gaze upon Mitchell and just let Noah take over. "Yeah play dumb, that'll help," he furrowed his brows and nodded "you're right, the deal is definitely off. Have fun out there, it's a hard life for rejected vampires."

Mitchell didn't know what to say or do, part of him wanted to shout at Noah that it was bullshit, he had been set up and things had been turned against him, the other wanted to laugh so hard that he would cry because it was just too ridiculous to be true. "I know the way out, don't worry about me," Mitchell said as he started walking back towards the corridor.

"Oh, not so fast darling. Not so fast," Noah grinned crookedly "you seriously think we'll just let you walk away, Mitchell? You should know better, boy."

Mitchell stopped as if he suddenly got rooted to the floor, he heard footsteps and sinister laughter coming from the shadows "What the fuck is this, Wallace?" he flared his nostrils "You should know that it takes more than a pantomime to scare me."

"Pantomime?" Noah laughed "No, this is very real, darling."

Mitchell tried to ignore the stupid threats and just push past the vampires that were crawling out of the darkness; they were dozens, or maybe more, they kept coming from every possible corner and Mitchell knew that even if he was strong they beat him in number. He manifested, hissing and roaring as he tried to charge against those who were blocking his way out but everyone was on him in the blink of an eye, biting and kicking, punching and scratching and no matter how hard Mitchell fought back he didn't stand a chance.

–

Mitchell had no idea of how much time had passed when the cold air of the night slapped him across the face and he found himself lying on the concrete, tasting his own blood in his mouth. He sat up slowly, shuddering from the cold and the excruciating pain, he could clearly feel he had at least three cracked ribs, his left eyebrow was ripped open and his own blood was blurring his eye. He felt like his right shoulder was dislocated, so he sucked in a shaky breath and fixed it against the pole of a streetlight with a blood curdling howl.

He couldn't tell what else he broke, everything hurt too much and he kept losing blood from the deepest wounds. Now that he looked down at his knees and hands he could clearly see that the concrete had scraped them, or maybe something more had happened to him but he didn't remember.

Mitchell was too exhausted and hurting to even cry, but his heart was forcing his legs to walk in the direction it wanted, even if it meant stumbling and falling over again, he'd just get up on weak legs and stubbornly limp in that direction.

It took him ages to reach the building where he used to live with Anders two months before, he didn't actually know how he had made it 'til there but he was glad he had. Mitchell leaned against the front door to try and rest a bit before he could gather up the courage to actually use the intercom, but much to his surprise the door was open – talk about sheer luck, for once. He dragged himself inside the building and used the elevator to get to Anders' floor, then proceeded to stare at the door of the apartment for a few minutes, until it opened on its own, revealing a distraught and shocked Anders behind it.

"What... The fuck?" Anders gaped at Mitchell. He was paralyzed, completely paralyzed as he saw the horrible state in which the vampire was.

"I-I know you hate me but–" Mitchell choked on his own words as he broke down crying, holding his still aching shoulder as he looked down at the floor and shook his head.

_**To be continued...**_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**Here we go with another update, a chapter that had me angsting nearly as much as Mitchell is capable of. I've only coped because of the support of my awesome girlfriend that helped me figure out what I really wanted to do with this chapter and the rest of them (she just doesn't realize how helpful she is to me but she can actually get me out of my writer's block), that of my beautiful friends Heather and Mari, and the amazing comments that some people left me. I swear I was ready to give up on all of this because I definitely didn't feel like it was good enough, and maybe it really isn't but I'm still trying, because I'm really fond of this universe I've created and of this pairing and yeah... I just really wanted to thank you all for being the amazing readers that you are, some of you say that are my 'fans' but I don't really believe it because it's such a big word! But really, thank you for being awesome and supportive and just taking the time to read this story.

Hope you'll enjoy this chapter, because something that has never happened between Anders and Mitchell will go down.

PS: I'm fairly sure that the next chapter might definitely be the last.

* * *

_Don't speak, no use for words__  
__lie in my arms, sleep secure.__  
__I wonder what you're dreaming of,__  
__lands rare and far__  
__A timeless flight to reach the stars.__  
__A lifetime full of words to say,__  
__a hope that time will slow the passing day._

_I've been wrong, time's over  
and I've been shamed with no words to find.  
But if the sun will rise, bring us tomorrow,  
walk with me._

**Crimson day ; Avenged Sevenfold.**

* * *

Anders watched as Mitchell sobbed uncontrollably, all covered up in blood, bruises and wounds, he would have wanted to do something, say something, but he was completely frozen in a state of shock. After nearly two months Anders had pretty much given up on their relationship, he was sure that he wasn't going to see Mitchell ever again.

"I wish I could hate you, it'd be so much easier to erase you from my fucking life then," Anders flared his nostrils as he stared at the vampire. He could feel the knot starting to clutch his throat, but he definitely wasn't going to cry, not this time, not again.

Mitchell looked up at him, unable to stop his tears and the shuddering of his body, sorrow and pain taking the best of him "I shouldn't have come here," he gulped and gritted his teeth as he looked down at the floor again, ashamed.

"What the fuck have you done, Mitchell?" Anders snarled shook his head "Gaia told me what happened, why the _fuck_ are you killing again?"

Mitchell screwed his eyes shut and rested back against the wall behind him "Because I'm a fucking idiot, that's why," he sniffled and licked his lips, a hollow smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Anders scoffed "Yeah, I know you are," he grimaced. He wanted to be angry with him for leaving him, for joining the Auckland vampires, but he just loved him too much. "You fucking asshole, who did this to you?" he growled as he walked up to him.

Mitchell sniffled, then swallowed thickly as he tightened the torn jacket around his body "I wanted out and this is what I got," he chuckled briefly through the tears then nearly bent double for the pain.

"Jesus, John!" Anders cried as he placed his hands on Mitchell's shoulders, causing him to squirm under his touch.

"C-careful! I just popped a shoulder back in its socket," the vampire growled softly.

Anders moved his hands away from Mitchell's shoulders and gripped at his jacket "Fuck..." he breathed out as he let his eyes fall shut for a moment "Just get in, already," Anders shook his head slightly as he helped him get inside the apartment.

By the time that Anders helped Mitchell peel off his jacket the vampire could barely stand, whimpering as Anders brushed a blood crusted lock away from his brow. Anders frowned as he spotted the deep cut running along Mitchell's eyebrow.

"I got you," Anders spoke softly and Mitchell choked back a sob, nodding with his eyes shut.

Anders gently steered Mitchell in the direction of the bathroom, still forcing himself to be strong even if the sight of Mitchell shaking from pain and exhaustion was pushing him on the edge of a breakdown. Anders undressed him carefully and the more clothes were removed the more bruises and wounds were exposed. It took Anders an enormous dose of self-control and bravery to not faint or throw up on the spot, the blood was just so much it made him dizzy and nauseous. Anders didn't do well with blood and injuries, but he nonetheless helped Mitchell to sit onto the toilet so that he could him up with the aid of a couple water soaked towels.

Anders didn't need to ask Mitchell if he wanted to go to the hospital because he already knew the answer, in fact they didn't need to speak at all, the god and the vampire actually had an entire conversation through gestures and looks.

Mitchell was staring at Anders throughout the entire ordeal, guilt painted his face and way too often pain would wrinkle his features. He was ashamed of what he had done during those two months, he had done everything he had promised Anders and himself never to do again. He had killed people without mercy, fed on their blood in hope to erase all his memory but it had never worked. He was regretting coming all the way to Anders', he had had no right to do so, but his heart had guided his feet and Anders was the only person that could truly understand him.

Anders was mostly focusing on cleaning the wounds and ignoring the smell of blood, trying to apply the right pressure and doing his best to not hurt Mitchell more than necessary, but when he looked into Mitchell's eyes Anders felt just as horrible as the vampire did. Yes, Anders had suffered when Mitchell had left him, but he had felt guilty for cheating and for keeping things from him. But it wasn't just the guilt that made Anders feel terrible, it killed him to see Mitchell full of injuries, his healing factor had definitely slowed down, if it hadn't completely stopped, just like it had happened when he had broken his arm months before. He could tell that Mitchell had lost lots of blood, some cuts looked really deep and nasty, and they looked like they could definitely get infected and potentially dangerous. Anders didn't know if the wounds could actually kill Mitchell, but maybe bleeding out would, so he definitely needed to stop the bleeding and try to close up the cuts as much as he could... Even if Anders had never done anything like that before and it was definitely freaking him out, no matter how calm he tried to appear on the outside.

"I have to patch you up, it'll be easier if you lie in bed. Let's go," was the first thing that Anders said after what felt like years of silence. His voice was calm, it did break slightly towards the last couple of words but Mitchell didn't seem to notice as he was all caught up in his own little world.

Mitchell didn't move, partly because he was too weak, partly because he just wanted to disappear. "I'm sorry..." he mumbled, looking down at the blood stained clothes and towels that were lying no the floor.

Anders frowned and gently pushed Mitchell's curls back "I am, too," he admitted with a nod of the head "but you can't sleep in the bathroom, so get up."

Mitchell looked up at Anders with his bruised, ripped up eyebrow unable to furrow "I had no right to come here, not after two months. Not after what I said."

Anders rolled his eyes "Shut it, okay? I've been worried sick, I was gonna come looking for you myself."

Mitchell narrowed his eyes at Anders "What? Worried?" he blinked, confused "You didn't know where I was, nor that something–" then he stopped, jaw dropping slightly and eyes widening as he remembered Anders' words from before "Gaia told you." he hadn't given it much thought earlier because the pain had nearly blanked his mind, but now he was jumping to conclusions already, his expression changing from pained to furious in a matter of moments "She slept with you after what she told me?" he growled lowly "That littl-" he didn't even get to keep going because of the excruciating pain piercing through his stomach that made him groan loudly.

Anders didn't even have time to tell him that no, he and Gaia hadn't slept together again because Mitchell was bent double on the toilet "Fuck, John!" Anders cringed and didn't know where to put his hands, too afraid to hurt him more "What is it? What hurts so much?"

Mitchell responded by coughing up some of his own blood "Internal bleeding, I guess?"

Anders widened his eyes so much that Mitchell was surprised they didn't pop out of their sockets "What the fuck do you mean you _guess_?" he didn't even care that it was ridiculously late at night as his voice turned way too loud and high pitched.

Mitchell had both arms looped around himself as he slightly rocked back and forth "It means that I don't know exactly if I am, but I've been kicked pretty hard in the stomach so–" he tightened his lips together and screwed his eyes shut as another awful cramp hit him "S-so something might have broken." he finished in a hushed voice.

Anders scoffed and shook his head "This is mental, come on, get up I'm taking you to the hospital," he said as he offered Mitchell his hands to help him up.

Mitchell stared up at him like he had lost his mind and shook his head "Fuck no, there are vampires I know there!"

Anders groaned in frustration "I'm taking you to a different hospital!"

But Mitchell was stubborn enough to shake his head again "No, fuck it. Too dangerous, I'm technically a walking and talking corpse!" he paused to let out another low moan of pain.

"Well you're gonna be a full-time corpse if you don't get medical attention!" Anders cried as he bent over to take Mitchell's hands in his "Stand the fuck up!"

"Don't yell at me!" Mitchell groaned as he glared up at Anders.

"You yelled at me too, when you left me!" Anders didn't even realize the words had left his lips, but he didn't exactly regret them. Anders might have been worried sick about Mitchell, but the vampire had still broken his heart.

Mitchell froze, he opened and closed his mouth as his weary, severely injured body still shook, and for a moment he didn't know what to say. He had suffered too, all those months and all that time before, things had been so rough and horrible but they were both to blame for many different reasons. As Mitchell stood up blood was still lazily oozing out of the few deepest wounds but he didn't care. "You know I never meant to, especially not when you were so shocked," he licked his lips as he considered picking up his dirty clothes from the floor "I'll get out of your face again."

Anders scoffed and kept Mitchell from bending over by grabbing one of his arms "Don't be a fucking idiot, I never said you had to leave."

Mitchell raised an eyebrow "Well you did say it when I left you, two months ago!" he mocked him as he still tried to pick up his clothes but his head spun and legs gave out causing him to collapse against Anders.

"Jesus!" Anders managed to keep them both steady as Mitchell groaned lowly in his arms. "Fuck, I'll... I need to take you to Michele!"

Mitchell gripped tightly at Anders shirt, eyes squeezed shut as he shook his head "No, I can't move anymore... Just– just help me lie down, yeah?"

Anders let out a choked sob "Don't you fucking dare die on me, John! I swear to God!"

Mitchell's knees threatened to give out again "Can't promise you anything," he cried softly.

"Fuck your negativity, man!" Anders growled as he carefully helped him reach the bed, and lie down. He still had to patch Mitchell up, he couldn't leave him like that, but when he looked at the vampire curl up on himself, whining in pain he couldn't even move for some moments as he realized that this looked too much like one of either his or Mitchell's nightmares.

He couldn't linger in his thoughts, though, he needed to move and help Mitchell before he'd bleed out on that very bed. Anders shook his head and quickly went to grab everything useful he could find: disinfectant, bandages, plasters, anything really. He swallowed thickly as he looked at the improvised first-aid kit in his hands and prayed to whatever deity that Mitchell could be alright again.

"John," Anders placed a hand on Mitchell's arm, it was colder than ever and it scared him even more "John, c'mon, lie on your back," he squeezed the stone-cold flesh in his hand and Mitchell looked up at him with heavy-lidded eyes.

"I-I don't-" Mitchell made a face "Anders, I don't know if I can make it through tonight..." he gulped "I'm sorry," his voice broke and a sob escaped his throat. Maybe he was exaggerating, he wanted to die more than it was actually possible for him to die in that way, but he was pretty sure that the exsanguination of a body unable to produce blood for itself was definitely bad news. His healing factor wasn't working due to the extensive blood loss and the ridiculous amount of external and internal injuries, maybe it wasn't a stake to the heart, a broken spine or a werewolf attack, but he surely wasn't going to be alright soon.

Anders widened his eyes and shook his head, dropping everything he was holding on the nightstand "Piss off, you're not gonna die, I won't let you." his eyes scanned the room quickly to localize his cellphone, and once he did he grabbed it "I'm calling Michele, I'll tell her to bring the stick."

Mitchell huffed, then coughed violently and tasted his own blood in his mouth again "No, Anders. I don't think the stick can save me. I'm a vampire, we don't work like everyone else." he pulled a face as he spoke, his hands were clutching at his stomach in a desperate tentative to stop the ache.

Anders froze as his brain began to compute what was the only thing that could have truly saved Mitchell, the one thing that was going to give him all his power and strength back. The answer was simple: blood. Mitchell needed to feed and quickly, it was the only way to get his healing factor to work again. Anders swallowed thickly as he looked down at the agonizing vampire, he had already offered his blood to him a few times before, during the horrible withdrawals Mitchell used to get at night, but the vampire had always refused, telling him that it was too dangerous. Anders used to have more faith in himself back then, less scared of what could have actually happened if Mitchell had tried feeding from him, but now the situation was different, Mitchell's body was nearly drained of all its blood, maybe Mitchell would have needed to drink Anders dry. But time was ticking, and Mitchell's moans were bringing Anders back to reality, he sucked in a deep, shuddering breath as he gathered up all his courage and made his decision.

"This is the only thing that will save you and you know it," Anders balled his hand into a fist and offered his wrist to Mitchell "Don't be a dipshit and drink."

Mitchell stared up at him confused at first, not really understanding what was going on. God, Anders was going at it again, the last time that he had offered him his blood Mitchell had told him that he didn't even want to hear about it again, but apparently the message hadn't gone through. "Don't even start, Anders! You know that I'm not gonna feed from you!" Mitchell groaned "I'd kill you, you idiot!" he shook his head "No, fuck it. I'd rather die than do this!"

Anders kneeled on the bed, completely ignoring Mitchell's protests as he tried to convince both the vampire and himself. He could do this, he really wanted someone to believe that he was worth something, that he was able to do some good and not mess things up as he usually did. "My power got stronger, I'm sure I can stop you. Plus you said that because you love me it's easier for you to control yourself! So do it," then he scowled before adding "because... You still love me, right?" he clenched his jaw as he waited for an answer.

Mitchell flared his nostrils "It's because I love you that I don't wanna do this."

Anders' expression softened as he let out a relieved sigh "Well you need to trust me. I can help you and I can stop you," he nodded "have faith in me."

Mitchell shook his head for the millionth time, he was on the verge of tears again. He did need the blood, he knew that it was the only thing that would save him, but he couldn't do it, he couldn't feed from Anders. "Anders, I've gone against all my principles and morals in the past two months," he shook his head "I can't go against this one, I won't feed from the person I love and I won't kill them. I've told you times and times again that I'm ready to die to protect you."

Anders listened to him attentively, understanding perfectly his reasons. He knew way too well how hard it was for Mitchell to keep his instincts at bay, how much energy it took him to be human and not a beast, but Anders knew that he could make him snap out of it. "I know perfectly what you've done, but I also know that you wouldn't have really wanted to do it in the first place," he started as he cupped Mitchell's cheek and began to thumb at his cheekbone slowly but steadily "You've suffered because I'm a dick, you've suffered because you killed all those people and now the nightmares are worse and more."

Mitchell didn't say anything, he closed his eyes every now and then to enjoy the familiar, warm touch of Anders' hand. God he had missed his scent and his soft hands even more than he had ever missed blood, the sound of his voice, the way words rolled off his tongue in his Kiwi accent nearly made him want to cry all over again.

"Just this once," Anders thumb reached Mitchell's lips, tracing the upper one softly as he cocked his head.

Mitchell opened his eyes and stared pointedly at Anders "I'll kill you," he repeated for the millionth time "there's no way you'll make me stop once I've started feeding!" he dared speaking a bit louder, but it caused him to groan in pain.

Anders wanted to punch something, the stubbornness of that vampire! "Of all people I thought you should have been the one to have faith in me! No one ever fucking believes in me, not even my–" he was going to say boyfriend, but he bit his tongue – they weren't together anymore, after all "Not even you."

Mitchell looked at the pained expression painting Anders' features, how his eyes were flooded with sorrow "What were you gonna say?"

Anders huffed, looking away "Don't change topic, Mitchell."

The vampire scowled at the choice of name, then looked down at the underside of Anders' wrist. The veins looked almost green under the thin, pale skin and if Mitchell concentrated enough he could hear the blood rushing through them – that blood that he had never smelled nor craved. Mitchell wanted to believe in Anders, wanted to have faith in his ability and power to stop him only with his words, but the risk was too high. "You should let me go," Mitchell sighed "I deserve to die, anyway," his last words were hushed and resigned.

Anders didn't know what kept him from hitting that angsty vampire with all of his strength "If I hear more bullshit coming out of your mouth I swear to God that I'll punch you," he threatened with a snarl "You have never let me go, so I won't either. Now stop being a fucking pussy and suck my blood!"

Mitchell swallowed thickly, ignoring the persistent ache deep in his gut – he was still pretty sure that his spleen or another organ had ruptured from the beating – then looked up into Anders' determination-filled eyes, wishing that tears weren't starting to pool in the corner of his own "Please, stop me." he begged in a shuddering voice.

"I will," Anders nodded firmly, then shifted to sit with his back pressed against the bedpost. He wished his heart wasn't hammering in his ears like that, he'd been so confident but now that Mitchell had pretty much accepted to feed from him he was about to wet himself from fear. Anders kept telling himself that Mitchell wasn't going to kill him, and if things got out of control he was still Bragi and he had never been more powerful than he was now, he could do this.

Mitchell held Anders' hand, lacing their fingers together as he placed a shallow kiss on the underside of Anders' wrist "It's gonna hurt, I'm so sorry," he screwed his eyes up as he still hesitated doing what he was supposed to. That was too much for him, it was so much worse than killing people to quench his thirst for blood, it was hurting the man he loved, it was risking to kill him.

"I love you, John," Anders knew that those were the most encouraging and reassuring words he could speak to the brunet, and even if he had seen Mitchell's eyes flicker black he was still taken aback when two sharp fangs sunk just a few inches away from the crook of his elbow. He groaned in pain but didn't look away, his eyes glued to how Mitchell's full lips were latched on his forearm, and the last thing he expected was... Feeling aroused.

It was insane, the way in which Anders felt lust pooling lazily in the pit of his stomach, his cock stirring inside his sweatpants as he felt his blood flowing from his veins right into Mitchell's mouth. He could remember Mitchell telling him – in the rare occasions in which he had succeeded in getting him to talk about vampirism – how feeding and sex went incredibly well together, and how drinking blood felt as good as having an orgasm. Well, he didn't know if the victim was supposed to feel as good as the vampire, but in that moment Anders would have wanted to curl his fingers around Mitchell's hair, tug sharply on it until his head was pulled back and then kiss the air out of his lungs, tasting his own blood in Mitchell's mouth. He would have wanted Mitchell to claim him after all that time, he would have wanted him to sink his fangs into his hips, his neck, his thighs. Maybe that was really the thing that made him so aroused about the whole situation: the intimacy of the moment and the possessiveness of the act. Either way his mind was too clouded to care and worry, the weariness of being fed on was definitely taking the best of him.

Mitchell was in utter and complete ecstasy, he had often wondered what a god's blood would have tasted like and now that he had his mouth full of it he could have come undone right there and then. It was somewhat thicker than human blood and it curiously tasted sweeter than anything he had ever tasted before, it was rich, warm, it smelled and tasted deliciously and it was already giving him back most of his energy and triggering his healing factor to work. The best part, though, what definitely couldn't compare, was that it only took a few, large sips for Mitchell to feel completely full and sated and Anders didn't need to stop him because he did it on his own. When he pulled away from Anders' arm a few moments after biting him, with a soft satisfied and pleased moan, he met Anders' hooded eyes and snapped back to reality right away.

"Fuck! Are you okay, Anders?" Mitchell quickly went to cup Anders' face with both hands, pupils shrinking to their regular size.

Anders felt weak, of course, but not too much weaker than a blood donor, though definitely more aroused and pleased than a blood donor. He arched a brow at the sight of his own blood covering Mitchell's lips and teeth "Fuck, that was intense," he said and actually had the nerve to grin.

"Shut up, I did a terrible thing," Mitchell's cheek flushed slightly as guilt hit him suddenly like a train. He could already feel all his wounds starting to heal, but the first thing he did was treat the bite on Anders' forearm, bandaging it tightly to make sure it'd heal quickly.

Anders watched him with a dopey smirk all the while, finding the vampire's concerned expression both endearing and sexy – God, why was he still so horny? "I can't believe the fuss you've always made over this," he huffed amused "I'm still alive, see?" trust Anders Johnson to turn everything into a joke, even about something serious and dangerous like that, even if he had put his life on the line. After all, he was supposed to be strong for Mitchell in that moment, wasn't he? He still had to play cool and not scare him more than necessary.

Mitchell flared his nostrils as he stood up, wiping the blood from his lips as he searched Anders' drawers for a shirt to pull on "This isn't a game, Anders," he looked down at the blood staining the sheets and began to tug at them frantically with shaky fingers. He knew that it was his own blood, but it made him panic because if things had gone wrong, it could have been Anders' "We need to take these off, and you... You need to rest and maybe eat something," he wasn't looking at Anders, he was too ashamed to do so.

Mitchell had failed again, because apparently there was just nothing he could do right. He had broken his number one rule, the most important one: never hurt the ones you love. He could still feel Anders' heartbeat in his ears, still taste his blood on his tongue and his lips still tingled with the sensation of veins pulsating against them. He was so ashamed of himself, of having risked Anders' life just to save his, he felt selfish and so damn weak for not being able to fend for himself and deal with his own crap. The worst part was that he had liked to finally drink from the person he loved, he had enjoyed that feeling of closeness that was pretty much like that of sex. If he thought back on those days in which he had wanted to mark and claim Anders like no one else had ever done before... Well, he had done it, at last.

Mitchell should have been happy that things had turned out to be just fine, but he still couldn't quite wrap his head around it, he still couldn't grasp the good in that monstrous act and all he felt was guilt and shame mixed with all the built up anxiety from earlier.

Anders sucked in a deep breath, and despite his weariness he pushed himself up on his knees to catch Mitchell's arm and tug on it "Are you done freaking out?" Mitchell looked at him wide eyed "Alright, it hurt a bit and I'm very... Very tired now, but I'm fine and you're fine!" well, he didn't mention the stiffness in the crotch of his pants, but he was trying really hard to ignore it.

Mitchell's nostrils quivered along with his trembling lower lip, he looked like an upset child and it made Anders growl lowly in his throat "I-I was just so scared to kill you! I could have never lived knowing that I had survived by killing you, oh my God!" the vampire broke into sobs all of a sudden, falling to his knees on the floor and crossing his arms on the mattress as he cried into them.

Anders' heart sunk and he shook his head as he carded his fingers through Mitchell's curls, letting him vent as he ignored the bloody sheets underneath them – they definitely needed to change them. "I know, John, I know," he said softly, his voice was supposed to be soothing, but he knew that Mitchell really needed to let out all his frustration and sadness, so he just let him cry.

After a couple minutes of pure misery Mitchell's sobs turned to wheezing and occasional hiccupping as he looked up at Anders with red rimmed eyes, rubbing them dry with the back of his hands. "Fuck! I'm such a crybaby," a dry sob escaped his mouth, making him roll his eyes.

Anders smirked, arching a brow as he nodded in agreement "You've always cried a lot, you're the most emotional vampire in the history of vampires," he teased as he stood up on weak legs to get rid of the sheets.

Mitchell pouted as he stood up himself, half-glaring at Anders "What would you know about vampires," then he watched the way in which Anders' legs shook and he nearly tripped over his own foot, so he placed his hands on the blond's hips to keep him steady "Careful."

Anders looked down at Mitchell's hands on his hips, then stared up into his eyes "I'm not a damsel in distress, you know?" he smiled softly.

Mitchell shrugged a shoulder "I've always felt the need to be your knight in shining armor," he smiled bitter, then froze a bit when he realized that they were both hard – or half-hard in Mitchell's care – from the feeding. Well now, he knew that it was an arousing act for vampires, but he definitely wasn't expecting Anders' body to react like that. "Are you–" he stared, not really knowing if he was even supposed to ask about it "Is that–" but Anders was quicker in his reply and actions, cutting off any questions.

"Can you stop being such a faggot?" Anders pulled a face "Let's change the sheets, we need some rest," he said as he freed himself from the vampire's hold. Anders would have genuinely wanted nothing more than to melt into Mitchell's arms, kiss him and tumble into bed with him, but there was a part of him that still couldn't bring himself to do all of that. Anders was still holding a grudge against Mitchell and it wasn't going to go away just like that, he was still too scared that Mitchell could leave again at any moment.

Mitchell scowled a bit, his injured eyebrow was starting to slowly heal up and it hurt way less to move it. He stared intensely at Anders' back as he ripped the dirty sheets off the bed, Mitchell seriously didn't know what he had expected from Anders, he had walked out on him after all the promises they had made to each other, then he had suddenly showed up at his door for help. Realizing this made Mitchell feel even worse about drinking Anders' blood, it was like he had taken advantage of him and now he could just walk out on him again, as if that night had never even happened. "I should sleep on the couch," the vampire nearly whispered.

Anders looked at Mitchell from over his shoulder "You're too tall for that," he said before moving to the drawer in which he kept the sheets "Are you gonna help me or what?" he arched up an eyebrow as he threw the clean sheets on the bed.

Mitchell licked his lips and nodded, well at least Anders wasn't throwing him out of the bedroom, that was something.

They made the bed in silence, their gazes never meeting until they were done, and when they did Mitchell noticed how pale Anders' skin had got, how he had to take some small breaks because he was too tired to even lift the duvet, no matter how hard he tried to pretend he was just fine.

Mitchell was starting to get scared all over again; what if he was going to attack Anders in their sleep? What if he had actually drank too much blood from Anders? Mitchell had got so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed that Anders had already sneaked under the covers and was staring at him expectantly, as if he had said something and was waiting for an answer. "Sorry, what?"

Anders rolled his eyes "I said, are you standing there because you're waiting to get any taller, or are you actually going to get into bed?"

Mitchell felt his stomach clench at those words, he wondered if he had said that on purpose, if he remembered that the vampire had made the exact same comment on Anders standing by his table instead of sitting down, on their second date – if they could actually call it a date. He just smiled weakly and shook his head "No, I'm getting in." Mitchell said softly as he climbed under the clean covers. He was glad that he didn't feel the need to bite Anders again, it seemed like he really was sated and even if he had liked the taste of the god's blood he wasn't craving for more.

Mitchell awkwardly shifted on his stomach, not really sure about what to do now that he was in bed with Anders, but the blond was looking at him and he couldn't help but reach out a hand to touch his face. "You're cold," Mitchell frowned as he ran his fingers over Anders' cheek "I think I drank too much, you should have stopped me earlier than I did."

Anders tensed slightly when he saw Mitchell's hand approach him, both for fear of being attacked and of getting physical with the vampire, but he relaxed as soon as he felt Mitchell's fingers trace his face ever so gently. "Of course I'm cold, I've lost blood and the bit I have left has pooled down to my testes." both he and Mitchell stared at each other wide-eyed, because Anders hadn't really meant to say that.

Mitchell tried to play it off a bit and make things less awkward "I was just wondering about that earlier, when I was holding you–" but Anders quickly cut him off with a wave of the hand.

"No just–" Anders sighed "Don't mind me, I'm my usual prick self," he pursed his lips and slowly turned on his other side, facing the wall instead of the vampire. He squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a sharp breath, he was torn between his desires and his rationality, and he was also mentally cursing at himself for behaving so out of character. Anders wouldn't normally avoid a root, but the situation was way too complex. It was right when Anders was trying to give in to sleep that all his resistance failed as Mitchell scooted closer and wrapped his arms around him.

"Can I stay like this? Even just for a while," Mitchell muttered against Anders' neck. He was so glad that he couldn't hear Anders' heartbeat or his blood rush through his veins, and the only scent he could smell was that of his skin mixed with cologne. Instead of getting a vocal reply, though, Mitchell was surprised to feel Anders turn in his arms and quickly winding his fingers around Mitchell's curls to pull him into a frantic kiss.

Anders could taste tobacco and his own blood into Mitchell's mouth, and it felt weirdly right. He could still smell Mitchell's cologne underneath the scent of blood and what he could only classify as the smell of the cold air of the night.

Mitchell was losing himself completely into the overdose of tastes and smells, he had missed Anders' mouth, his amazing lips and his intoxicating smell. Surely Anders tasted too much like alcohol and cigarettes, he had probably been abusing them to drown his sorrow, but after all hadn't Mitchell been doing the same with blood?

A few moans and dry sobs from both of them got swallowed into the desperate kiss, they had missed each other too much and no matter what had happened they couldn't help but clinging to one another as time stopped and the world surrounding them ceased to exist for those interminable minutes. They would have gone on kissing forever, if Anders didn't have to pull away, gasping for air, and if he hadn't been so incredibly worn out. The blond pressed his forehead against Mitchell's chin, keeping his eyes shut as he tried to catch his breath and wait for his heart to stop racing into his chest.

Mitchell licked his lips, he wanted to ask Anders for his forgiveness and tell him how helpless and worthless he felt without him but when he dared open his mouth to just utter a simple "Anders, I–" the god shushed him.

"No, shut it," Anders shook his head as he pulled back "Just don't speak, okay?" he looked up into Mitchell's eyes "It's late and I'm too tired to cope with anything, let's just sleep, eh?"

Mitchell swallowed thickly and nodded "Of course, yeah." he didn't really feel like waiting, but then again he couldn't expect too much from Anders. He watched the ghost of his beloved's usual smirk tug at the corners of his lips right before he tucked his head under Mitchell's chin, his fist gripping at the shirt covering Mitchell's chest. The vampire took one of those pointless breaths that made him feel less like a monster, and even if he still didn't know what was going to happen between he and Anders, just having him so close made him feel more human than anything... Even if he had drank his blood, and God he really hoped that it had been the first and last time he'd ever done it, if he got addicted to Anders' blood he didn't know what could be bound to happen.

_**To be continued...**_


	8. Chapter 8

**N/A:** Well this is it, this sequel is over and I wanna thank everyone who decided to stick with me and read this! There's a chance I won't easily stop writing about this universe, unless you will all get bored of it, but we'll see, right? I wanna thank my girlfriend, who played a huge part as muse and supporter for me, and my friends Mari and Heather who are always so supportive and helpful and just LKJAETLKJAETL yeah. Thank you all for making this sequel a possibility and a quite nice success.

I'll never stop being grateful, really! It's just sad that this too has come to an end.

I'm also really sorry that this took so long to write but it wasn't easy at all. So yeah, now you can finally enjoy it :)

* * *

_Will you stay  
Even if it hurts  
Even if I try to push you out  
Will you return?  
And remind me who I really am  
Please remind me who I really am_

_Everybody's got a dark side_  
_Do you love me?_  
_Can you love mine?_  
_Nobody's a picture perfect_  
_But we're worth it_  
_You know that we're worth it_  
_Will you love me?_  
_Even with my dark side?_

**Dark Side ; Kelly Clarkson.**

* * *

The sun shone warm and bright, that morning, filtering through the curtains and warming up the floor of the bedroom, it dared waking up Anders as his rays splashed light on his eyes, making him grimace and blink his eyelids open. He felt a weight pressing lightly on his middle, and since he had turned around during the night and wasn't facing Mitchell anymore, he had kind of forgotten about him. That's why he felt the fluttering of butterflies wings in the pit of his stomach when shifting on his back he saw Mitchell sleeping curled up beside him, Anders couldn't help but smirk, but as he tried to move his arm to run his fingers over Mitchell's face the sting of the bite on his forearm and a growling stomach reminded him of the night before. Right, he had been bitten by his vampire boyfriend and now he was starving because he definitely needed his energy back.

Anders sneaked carefully out of bed, doing an amazing job at not waking up Mitchell, then padded out of the bedroom to reach the kitchen. He legitimately felt like crying when opening his fridge he was greeted by Ty's sushi, five bottles of lager, an almost empty bottle of milk, a ketchup bottle, an half-eaten box of shrimp noodles and a small bowl of overcooked pasta Bolognese – no wonder he had dropped a couple of sizes in those two months. Anders was pretty sure that he could find something in the cupboards, cereals or anything really, or else he was going to just heat up the Bolognese and stuff his painfully empty stomach with that.

During Anders' search for food, Mitchell was tossing and turning in his sleep, getting tangled into the covers until he suddenly jolted awake with a choked sob. He gulped when he realized that he was back at Anders' but the fact that he was alone in the bed wasn't exactly making him feel better about waking up from the nightmare he had been stuck into. The memories from the night before were all mixed up with the awful dream he had just woken up from, and now he couldn't tell if he had killed Anders or not, nor if he had scared him off or maybe even recruited him, but when he looked at the floor and saw the blood stained sheets panic surged through him in a violent rush, nearly making him throw up as he called out for Anders as loudly as he could.

In the kitchen, Anders widened his eyes and threw the cupboard shut as he clumsily stormed into the bedroom to find the panicked vampire sitting in the middle of the bed, shaking like a leaf "What the fuck happened?!" Anders cried as he stared at him wide eyed.

Mitchell let out a huge sigh of relief and collapsed back against the pillows "Fuck, I thought I'd killed you or something!" he whined as he pressed his palms against his eyes.

Anders huffed and shook his head, but he was glad that Mitchell was okay "Nightmare?" he asked as his shoulders relaxed.

Mitchell looked at him and held his arm out, wiggling his fingers to beckon Anders over "Come back to bed, please?"

Anders rolled his eyes "But I'm starving."

Mitchell frowned at those words "You hate me that much?"

Anders huffed "I don't hate you," he shook his head and walked up to his side of the bed, slipping under the covers much to Mitchell's happiness.

"I'm so sorry," Mitchell said probably for the millionth time since the night before, as he wrapped his arms around Anders and buried his face into the crook of his neck.

Anders groaned as he tucked his chin over Mitchell's head "Shut up, don't you think you've apologized enough?"

Mitchell shook his head "No, it'll probably never be enough."

Anders' eyes rolled into the back of his skull "Fuck, Mitchell! Quit being such an emo!" he growled exasperated.

Mitchell pulled back to scowl at Anders "That's not being emo!" then he blinked puzzled for a moment as he added quickly "I don't even know what the hell is an emo, but," he scoffed with a roll of his eyes "I had promised you to never leave your side, I had promised you to always be with you but I flushed everything down the toilet and ran away to do horrible things."

Anders bit back a chuckle when Mitchell said he didn't know what an emo was, he always forgot that he was a 115 years old stuck in the body of young adult in his early twenties. He grew extremely serious when Mitchell went on, it was true, the vampire had fled and done terrible things, but Anders hadn't exactly behaved like a saint.

"You were right, I mean, I of all people perfectly know what it's like to have an ugly, uncontrollable urge and Christ knows the energy it takes me to not give in to it!" Mitchell continued his rambling, feeling lighter and lighter as he pushed an enormous weight off his chest.

Anders cupped Mitchell's jaw and hushed him by pressing his thumb across his lips "That's enough, I know," he nodded. He appreciated Mitchell's words and loved him even more for saying all of that, but it was his turn to confess. "But I've been pretty horrible too, while you were away," he pursed his lips and shrugged a shoulder "I've never exactly been a saint, and I didn't behave much differently from how I did before I met you," he smiled bitter "actually I did much worse."

Mitchell gulped as he listened to Anders, letting out a small knowing huff "Yeah well, you fucked Gaia again," he flared his nostrils and looked away, ignoring Anders' grimace.

"What? No! I slept with Gaia those two infamous times but nothing else has ever happened after!" Anders cried defensive.

Mitchell arched up an eyebrow as he looked back at Anders skeptical "Yeah? Well you said that she told you that I saved her from those arseholes vampires."

Anders' expression dropped as he stared at Mitchell "Over the fucking phone, genius."

Mitchell raised his eyebrows and blinked "Oh..."

"Yeah," Anders sighed, then shook his head "Though while I wasn't screwing her, I was pretty much screwing the rest of the city," he admitted as he broke away from Mitchell's embrace, sitting up with his back pressed against the bedpost.

"Anders," Mitchell widened his eyes slightly from under knitted brows. He couldn't help the feeling of disappointment and jealousy that crept through his chest and shot down to his stomach. But after all, what could Mitchell want from Anders? They had broken up and Mitchell had told him to live the life he was supposed to live, and he was free to have sex with whoever he wanted.

"Once a slut, always a slut, I guess?" Anders commented with a small, bitter smile.

Mitchell shook his head "Don't say that about yourself, Anders."

The blond shrugged, still looking blankly ahead and avoiding Mitchell's gaze. There wasn't much to say, he had done what he was used to do before knowing Mitchell but on a larger scale, with more people, alcohol and the occasional drug involved. Anders had felt filthy for the first time during those months, and not in a good way, because he was deliberately degrading himself, it had been just another kind of self-harm.

"I guess that we both go down ugly roads when we're apart," Mitchell suggested looking down at his lap for a moment, fidgeting with the duvet.

"I don't know if I'm ready," Anders started as he inhaled a deep breath and finally looked over at Mitchell "For us," he finished the sentence.

Now if Mitchell's heart hadn't stopped already decades ago, it would have definitely stopped in that very moment. "Have you... Decided to go down the Idunn road?" his voice cracked mid-sentence, that was the thing he had feared the most for all that time.

Anders' eyes dropped shut as he let out a frustrated groan "No! Fuck Idunn!" then he looked at Mitchell "I don't feel ready to get back with you if you'd decide fuck off again. I don't want that, I can't handle that!"

Mitchell widened his eyes as he sat up "I wouldn't leave this time!" he replied quickly "I want our life back, I loved our life together!"

Anders felt his heart clench at those words, he believed Mitchell, he knew he was honest and sincere, but his fear of being abandoned couldn't just go away, not when he thought about the awful panic attacks he had gone through. He decided to let the vampire talk for a while, not mentioning the fact that Gaia was probably on her way to the airport or something in that very moment. "You did? Even if it has never been and never will be normal?"

Mitchell looked at Anders, his eyes filled with determination, he had thought about having that kind of conversation with Anders during many nights back at the nest. He was prepared for that, his thoughts were all sorted out, he just loved the man too much to not want to go back to what they had with all its imperfections. "Everyone's got their demons to deal with, ours are just bigger than normal people's," he started out, and he could tell Anders was already hooked on his words "we've tried avoiding them, we've tried giving in to them but that's not how it works!" Mitchell huffed and shook his head.

Anders arched an eyebrow, expectantly "So what? We spray them with holy water?"

Mitchell rolled his eyes "You deal with them, that's the only way."

Anders pursed his lips and nodded slowly "So this means that you won't run away from my Bragi demon, or of how much of an arsehole I can be?"

Mitchell shook his head "I won't. Even if it hurts me, because I love you more than how much I hate Bragi."

Again with the butterfly wings flapping about in his stomach, God when had Anders become a 15 years old girl with a raging crush? "Hey! Bragi is very useful in many situations, don't hate him!"

Mitchell scowled "Well he needs to understand that you are only meant to fuck me and no one else!" he protested in a low growl.

Anders rolled his eyes, a small smirk curling his lips "What a boring life!" he huffed as he glanced at Mitchell "But I guess that with Gaia out of the picture boredom will be the only option," he shrugged.

Mitchell widened his eyes "What do you mean?" he blinked, completely puzzled "Gaia out of the picture?" he repeated as he tried to give meaning to something that should have been really clear, but in that moment sounded like a foreign language to him.

Anders shrugged a shoulder "It means exactly what you think it means," he broke into one of his smug smirks as he watched realization slowly creep on Mitchell's face.

"Wait, she's gone? She's not dead right?" Mitchell asked a bit too quickly and not too clearly, but Anders understood him just fine.

"She said that she needed to stay away from Gods, she couldn't stand anything anymore," Anders pursed his lips "so she took off," he explained with a jerk of the head.

Mitchell kept quiet as he let Anders' words slowly sink in, washing away his anxiety, his jealousy and making him feel lighter than ever. Breathing in a few deep breaths was his first reaction, it was refreshing and soothing even if unnecessary, but he still didn't have enough energy to smile properly. "So you're free? _We_ are free?" Mitchell asked, because he still hadn't understood how Anders felt about all this.

Anders nodded slowly as he tried to keep a straight expression, not wanting to give his emotions away just like that. "Yes, we are," he nodded slowly, then added with a roll of the eyes "Unless something happens to Gaia and a new Idunn gets reincarnated and meets me. Even if that would be some major shit luck." he grunted as he finished talking.

Mitchell's first instinct was to shift to his knees and cup Anders' face "No! Nothing bad will happen, in any way! We're gonna be just fine, I promise! Whatever happens we'll face it together, I'll never leave your side again, Anders!" again he had spoken in a rush, staggering over his own words because he wanted the message to reach Anders as soon as possible, to reassure and convince him that he was definitely up to make it work, no matter the difficulties.

Anders bit his bottom lip to keep himself from grinning, he still wanted to torture Mitchell for a bit and listen to all the beautiful things he had to say to convince him of something that he was already well convinced of. "You know how much I need you, right?" he uttered at last.

Mitchell furrowed his brows and nodded "I do know, and I need you just as much," then he added cocking his head "if not more." those words made both of them chuckle, and Mitchell smiled wide and bright "You're laughing, at last! I missed it so much!"

Anders grimaced "Oh please no, no more sappiness," he groaned, even though he was blushing slightly.

Mitchell chuckled and pressed a kiss to Anders' pouting lips "I missed you every day, so much," he said softly as he leaned his forehead against Anders'.

Anders smiled and shrugged a shoulder "Well, I can't really blame you. I'd miss me too," he pecked at Mitchell's lips before slipping out of bed again "I'm heating up Bolognese and making fish fingers, if you decide to get up."

Mitchell pouted and scowled up at Anders, usually it was him who'd sneak out of Anders' attentions, but he figured that the blond was still making him pay. "You're cruel," the vampire whined as he dragged himself out of bed.

"Nope, I'm starving," Anders corrected him as he padded back into the kitchen "even though hunger can definitely make people cruel, I guess?" he pulled the freezer door open and fetched the box of fish fingers out of it.

Mitchell walked up to the table and took a seat, leaned an elbow on the cold surface and propped his chin on his hand "Are you insinuating something?" the eyebrow that the night before was ripped open had completely healed up, so he was able to cock it with no problem.

Anders smirked, turning around for a moment as he shoved the Bolognese into the microwave "No, Lestat." well at least Anders was his playful self again, calling him names and whatnot, and maybe once they were finished stuffing their stomachs full he would have let Mitchell close to him again.

The meal was really bad, but they were both hungry so they ate regardless of the poor taste and quality of the food, with the promise of pizza for dinner. They opened up to each other after a beer each, Anders telling Mitchell all about how he thought that giving in to his vices would have helped him feel better, and Mitchell told him what a nightmare it had been to be part of the Auckland vampires, ending his story with what had exactly happened to Gaia and Zeb.

"So they... Claimed that you had beaten up those newcomers vamps so that they had an excuse to bash the crap out of you?" Anders asked with a scowl, he had actually cringed during the whole story and knowing every detail of the story made him feel sick.

Mitchell let out a small huff and nodded "Exactly. But Noah was sick of me, anyway, they only wanted to get rid of me." he shrugged as he sipped from his can of beer.

"So you don't think they're going to come after you and try killing you again?" Anders asked as he picked nervously at the pull tab of the can.

Mitchell nodded as he was still gulping down his beer "Nope. If they wanted me dead they'd killed me already," he cocked his head "they would have staked me, not beaten me."

Anders just nodded in understanding as he succeeded in tearing the tab off. He seemed to be deep in thought for a few moments as he licked and nibbled on his bottom lip, then he finally found the courage to speak up "You know I..." Anders started, but then he rolled his eyes and waved his hand "No, forget it, I'm probably just a nutjob." he tried to play it off with a snigger before swigging at his beer.

Mitchell furrowed his brows "No, tell me! C'mon," he nodded, then he reached a hand out to brush his fingers against Anders' "we're not like everyone else, nuts is our ordinary." he smiled bitter as he tried to encourage him to speak.

Anders pursed his lips and looked down at Mitchell's fingers resting on top of his, then sucked in a deep breath and continued speaking "I'd randomly feel sick or in actual pain, sometimes," he still didn't look up at Mitchell because he legitimately felt like he was insane "but the thing is that I was fine! Nothing was wrong with me! Until I realized that I was actually feeling _your_ pain and–" he glanced up at Mitchell for a moment and shook his head "No, it's mental I know, don't listen to me."

Mitchell's fingers wrapped around Anders' hand, making the god look up at him surprised "It does sound mental but it's very real. I'm the same with you, I feel it when you're suffering and in pain," he raised his brows at the disbelief painting Anders' face "I felt it when Herrick staked you, I felt it when Axl nearly killed you!" then he gave Anders' hand a squeeze "I could feel your sorrow and grief during these two months. It's real, it's a soul bond."

Anders couldn't believe what he was hearing, even if they had both faced many bizarre things a _'soul bond'_ was definitely new and it did sound silly. "A soul bond? Like–" he furrowed his brows, blinking as he thought this over "A connection? Like those stuff that happen to twins?"

Mitchell pursed his lips and tilted his head slightly "In a sense, yeah. But much stronger," he nodded "did you talk about it with Olaf? Maybe he's heard of those bonds before."

Anders grimaced and shook his head "I've been trying to stay away from my family as much as humanly, even godly possible." he scoffed, then stared at his hand in Mitchell's "So we... Are like soul mates? Proper soul mates?"

Mitchell smiled fondly and laced their fingers together "I guess?" then he rubbed circles on Anders' palm with his thumb "Pretty cool, eh?"

Anders pulled a face "That's so cheesy, sounds like something extremely and obnoxiously romantic you just made up to woo me," he said as he raised his eyes on Mitchell again.

The vampire sniggered softly "I didn't make it up but," he touched the ring that Anders was still wearing on his left ring finger "is it working?" Mitchell smiled at him.

Anders noticed that Mitchell had touched the ring, he had never even considered taking it off, even when he thought that they were over forever. "Maybe?" Anders shrugged "I might need you to do something more to win me back completely."

Mitchell smirked as an idea formed in his head, he got off the chair and moved to the side of Anders' before he got down on his knees, taking Anders' hand in his again. Before he even got the chance to open his mouth Anders panicked and quickly drew his hand back with a chocked sob.

"Don't you fucking dare propose to me, I'll punch you so hard in the nose that no blood type will heal you!" Anders cried.

Mitchell laughed really hard at that, then shook his head "Why don't you shut the fuck up and let me speak?"

Anders' cheeks flushed a light shade of pink as he cursed under his breath, looking aside for a moment before scowling back down at the vampire.

Mitchell cupped Anders' jaw in one hand "Would you like to go back to how we were? No matter how hard it could get at times, no matter the demons, would you like it to be you and me against the world all over again?"

Anders' throat clenched for a moment, he felt a knot trapping his breath but he still let out a weird noise of annoyance as he slid off the chair to kneel in front of Mitchell "Fuck your sappiness, _I_ am supposed to be the god of poetry!" he cried out frustrated as he gripped at Mitchell's shirt with both fists.

Mitchell grinned "This a yes?"

Anders flared his nostrils "The fuck do you think it is?"

They didn't have to add anything else as they melted into each other's arms getting lost in a heated, intense kiss that was trying to make up for all the lost time. Anders hands were roaming Mitchell's back, tugging at the shirt to take it off and the vampire was doing just the same, the need to feel each other's skin was stronger than anything else.

"Bed," Anders hissed against Mitchell's lips "let's go to bed, I don't wanna do this on the floor."

Mitchell nodded, brushing their lips together as he did so, then he scooped Anders up to move into the bedroom, _their_ bedroom. Anders wrapped his legs around Mitchell's waist as he walked towards the room, sucking and licking the salt off the vampire's neck in the meantime, enjoying his small moans and grunts. Mitchell propped a knee on the mattress as he laid Anders on his back in the middle of the bed, and the god quickly dragged him down with him for another deep kiss.

"Have you fucked other people?" Anders breathed against Mitchell's lips as he broke the kiss for air "Just tell me, you already know I did," he added to reassure him that it was okay if he had.

Mitchell grimaced at the question "A few times to feed," then he shook his head "but no vampires."

"Okay," Anders nodded "okay, it's fine."

Mitchell smiled bitter and pecked softly at Anders' lips before he sat back on his heels to remove Anders' sweatpants and boxers, realizing only in that moment how skinny Anders had got, and he also spotted a few bruises on his hips and thighs. The vampire furrowed his eyebrows and traced a particularly fresh looking one with his fingertips "How did you get those?"

Anders pulled a face and moved Mitchell's hand away from the purplish mark on his hip "I've been drinking a lot, so I got a bit clumsy. Don't mind them," he lied through his teeth and quickly tugged Mitchell's boxers down to make the vampire focus on something else.

Mitchell wasn't stupid, though, and of course he knew that Anders was lying, so he let him pull down his boxers but then stopped him again, catching his wrists in his hands and pinning them above Anders' head "Don't lie to me, Anders," he furrowed his brows "how did you get these bruises?"

Anders groaned in frustration and screwed his eyes shut "Fuck, Mitchell! Why do you have to ruin the moment?" he opened his eyes only to glare up at his boyfriend "Can't we just think about what we're gonna do and nothing else?"

"Not until you tell me what happened," Mitchell flared his nostrils and clenched his jaw.

"You're hurting me," Anders mumbled as he looked aside, and Mitchell released his wrists. As soon as Mitchell's fingers freed him, Anders sucked in a deep breath and exhaled it in a sigh "Some guys I fucked got a bit carried away," he began to explain as he still looked away "they got a bit too rough, catching me off guard," he looked up at Mitchell's horrified expression and raised his eyebrows "but as soon as they did I used my power to make them fuck off. Nothing bad happened."

Mitchell was at a loss of words and he didn't know what to say or do, he remained frozen as his eyes hovered the bruises on Anders' lower half all over again "As soon as they did, eh?" he commented in a hushed voice "Are you sure they didn't–" Mitchell squeezed his eyes shut, too shocked by the news to even bring himself to think or actually blurt out what those marks might imply.

Anders widened his eyes "No!" he cried out and shook his head "No, fuck no. I told you I made them fuck off as soon as they started being too violent for my taste." he did flare his nostrils and swallow thickly though, because even if they hadn't actually done what Mitchell feared, they had definitely scared Anders.

Mitchell found it hard to not snarl in a proper vampiric manner at the mention of someone hurting Anders like that, thinking about all those people sleeping with him was bad enough. He hadn't thought about the consequences of his actions, though, because the growl made Anders jump and scramble off the bed as he feared being attacked by the vampire. Mitchell widened his eyes at that reaction and promptly caught Anders by the wrist.

"No, please! Don't hurt me!" Anders cried, even more scared, as he tried to twist his arm out of Mitchell's grip.

Mitchell's heart broke at both the sight and those words, he had never intended to scare or hurt him "God, I don't wanna hurt you! I'm sorry!" he shook his head, and the look on Anders' eyes seriously made his stomach ache.

Anders tensed up as he gulped and asked "You sure?"

Mitchell just nodded and waited for Anders' expression to soften and his whole body to relax before he decided to press his temple to Anders chest and wrap his arms around his waist.

Anders let his eyelids fall shut as he let out a relieved breath and looped his arms around the vampire's head "You made me shit myself," he breathed out as he waited for his heart to stop hammering in his chest.

Mitchell grimaced at those words and held his boyfriend just a little bit tighter "I know, I didn't think I was gonna scare you, sorry."

Anders sunk his fingers into dark curls, gently massaging the vampire's scalp as they both lingered quietly in the moment. Mitchell kept his eyes shut as he listened to Anders' heartbeat slowing down to its normal pace, then looked up at the god with apologizing eyes and Anders softly smiled down at him to make him understand that he was forgiven.

"Still up for it? Or you wanna wait a bit longer?" Mitchell asked, placing a kiss in the middle of Anders' chest.

"'Course I'm up for it," Anders rolled his eyes, because seriously he had already held back for way too long for his standards, and he definitely needed Mitchell in every possible way "As long as you don't go berserk over those bruises again." he precised with an arched brow.

Mitchell sighed, tilting his chin up so that he was resting its underside flat against Anders' chest and looking up at him like a mortified puppy. "I won't, I promise."

Anders smirked down at him and playfully scratched behind his ear "Attaboy." Mitchell spanked him and they both laughed.

"C'mhere," Mitchell pulled Anders back to bed, and the god decided to be the one on top, bracketing the vampire's hips with his legs as they shared a slow, passionate kiss. "God, I missed kissing you so much," Mitchell breathed against Anders' lips.

"So did I," Anders moved his head to leave a trail of butterfly kisses all along Mitchell's stubbled jaw, stopping to nibble softly on his earlobe before eventually reaching his neck. Anders sunk his teeth into the soft flesh, relishing the groan he got in return and smirking against Mitchell's skin before he began to suck a dark, possessive mark on it.

Mitchell tilted his head to give Anders better access to his neck, he could feel himself growing back to full hardness and Anders was too, against his lower stomach. "Harder, bite harder!" Mitchell groaned as he dug his fingers into Anders' shoulders.

Mitchell didn't have to ask twice because Anders bit and suck the vampire's neck hard enough to draw blood – and how they liked the irony in all that. Mitchell let out a growl as his pelvis automatically rocked up against Anders' searching for some relieving friction, and Anders shifted lower so that their shafts were now rutting together with every single roll of their hips.

"Bite my shoulder," Mitchell moaned as he took Anders by surprise and wrapped his fingers around both his and Anders' cocks to stroke both of them at the same time.

"Fuck!" Anders hissed against Mitchell's neck, drooling a bit as he moved to bite the vampire's shoulder, leaving a nice red ring of teeth on that cold, pale skin that made Mitchell groan lowly in the back of his throat.

Mitchell screwed his eyes shut as he enjoyed the work of Anders' mouth on his shoulder, and in exchange for that he pressed his thumb against Anders' tip, rubbing circles into it and spilling precome all over. He had missed the way in which Anders shook under his touch, and even though he couldn't wait for him to fall apart, at the same time he wanted to make everything last as long as possible.

Anders moaned loudly and pressed his forehead against Mitchell's clavicle, his legs shuddering as a particular jolt of pleasure ran through his lower stomach. It was insane how all the sex he had had in those two months just couldn't compare to the simple work of Mitchell's hand and fingers, and the fact that they loved each other so much and that their souls – as odd as it still sounded to him – shared a bond made it impossible for anyone else to even remotely compete with Mitchell and what they shared.

"I need you inside me," Anders almost whined "please, John."

Mitchell groaned at those words "You have no idea how much I wanna," he said before he pulled Anders in for a hard kiss on the lips "just get the lube, will you?"

Anders grinned and reached out for the top drawer of his nightstand, pulling it open to grab the bottle of lubricant, then moved to sit back on his heels and poured the cold liquid all over his hand, setting the bottle back on top of the nightstand once he was done.

"Wait what are y–" Mitchell furrowed his brows confused as he watched Anders put the lubricant away, but the answer came sooner than he thought as Anders' fist began to slick Mitchell's cock with lube, making him moan and scrunch his face up "'Cold..." he hissed.

Anders smirked at those words "I'll warm it up in a sec."

Just hearing those words had heat shot down to Mitchell's groin, making him growl and buck wantonly into Anders' hand. Anders wasn't just the god of poetry, he was also the god of making Mitchell lose his head and in that moment his power was incredibly strong "Christ, just ride me already!" he cried impatient.

Anders had completely forgotten about the earlier fright, all that mattered now was being united with Mitchell as one again, there was no time for stupid fears or silly thoughts, he had a lover to take care of and that was all he wanted to think about. "Eager, much?" he smirked as he raised his hips to hover Mitchell's.

"More than you think," Mitchell offered him the twin of his smirk, then cupped his cheek "Don't hurt yourself, okay?" because Mitchell's head might have been hazed with lust, but he still wanted Anders to be alright.

Anders sniggered at him "I'll be okay, you know I can handle you just fine," he grinned mischievous as he lined Mitchell up with himself, then took a deep breath before slowly lowering his hips on Mitchell's tip. It did hurt at first, as he felt himself stretch around Mitchell, he squeezed his eyes shut and hissed, biting down on his bottom lip as he paused for a moment before taking a few more inches inside.

Mitchell groaned as he ran both hands up and down Anders' thighs, trying to distract him from the pain. It kind of ached slightly for Mitchell, too, Anders was tight and the way in which his body was squeezing Mitchell inside was a bit painful. He looked up at Anders' grimace and at his red tinted cheeks as the blond took various pauses to adjust to the intrusion on his way to take Mitchell completely inside. "You okay?" the vampire asked as he rubbed soothing circles on Anders' thighs "I could always prep you, if you want," he suggested in a soft voice.

Anders did appreciate the concern, but that was how he wanted it, he wanted to feel Mitchell as much as he could even if it hurt. The blond grinned and shook his head, then he braced himself with both hands on Mitchell's chest "I told you I'm fine, I can do this," Anders insisted.

"You don't have to impress me," Mitchell raised his brows "I know you're phenomenal in bed, alread–" his rambling suddenly broke into a deep, throaty groan as Anders managed to sit completely down on Mitchell's pelvis with a couple of muttered curses. "You fuckin'–"

Anders sniggered and bent over to speak against Mitchell's lips "Go on, fuck me, Dracula." he grinned and licked into Mitchell's mouth.

Mitchell's hands slid up to firmly grip at Anders hips as he began to snap his own up into them, causing the blond to groan and rest his forehead against Mitchell's chin for a moment. Anders let Mitchell thrust inside him until he felt himself fairly loose around the vampire so that he could finally sit back and take the lead, lifting and lowering himself on Mitchell's shaft, relishing the sensation of the brunet filling him up completely.

"G-god!" Mitchell choked on his words as he ran his hands up Anders' knees and thighs, his hips rocking up to meet Anders' movements.

Anders laughed softly and arched up an eyebrow as he looked down smugly at the vampire "_Anders_, Lestat. My name's always Anders," a crooked smirk tugged at his lips as he slid his hands towards Mitchell's on his own thighs, then laced their fingers together as he rode the vampire. Normally Mitchell would have been annoyed by that kind of joke, but he was honest enough with himself to admit that he had missed those silly remarks as much as everything else.

"You dick," Mitchell groaned with a smirk as he marveled at Anders beauty, because no matter the few pounds he'd lost, the bruises and the dark shadows under his eyes he still looked like a proper Adonis to Mitchell.

Anders' eyes fell shut as he found the right angle and pace to stimulate that sweet spot within him "Oh no, _your_ dick! It feels amazing!" Anders squeezed Mitchell's fingers in his as a loud groan tore from his throat "Oh fuck!" he dropped his head and looked down at Mitchell with hooded eyes.

Mitchell bit his lower lip hard enough to rip it open, but no matter how hot it was to watch Anders riding him he needed to switch positions "Let me go on top," he moaned as he brought one of Anders' hand to his mouth and kissed his knuckles, then sucked on both his middle and index fingers.

Anders' hips stilled as he watched Mitchell's lips envelop his digits, then nodded slowly his consent "Yeah," he licked his slightly chapped lips "yeah, take me," he nodded again as he levered himself up, whimpering when he felt Mitchell sliding out of him.

The vampire rolled on his knees easily, finding his place between Anders' thighs as if it was his home, and it was when Mitchell pushed back inside him and wrapped and arm around Anders to hold him close as he thrusted into him, that the blond realized they had been doing it wrong.

Riding someone is hot, incredibly sexy, but being able to circle your lover's neck with your arms and loop your legs around his waist to pull and keep him impossibly close couldn't even remotely compare. Anders could finally smell Mitchell's scent, feel his muscles, wind his fingers around his curls, kiss him like there wasn't going to be a tomorrow and everything felt so real and personal that for a moment he thought his heart would burst. He didn't care that his arm was hurting, that the bite was stinging, all he cared about was that Mitchell was there with him again, and it was like the reality of it had only just hit him.

"Y-you're not leaving after this, are you?" Anders suddenly moaned against Mitchell's lips.

The vampire raised his eyebrows in surprise, since the last thing he expected to come from Anders' mouth was that "Why would I?" he asked, hips stilling once he was buried deep within his boyfriend.

Anders' eyes rolled into the back of his skull and he had to take a moment before he could answer with something that actually made sense. "You left once, already."

Mitchell wrapped both arms around the god, holding him close as he spoke to his ear "I'm home again, I'm here to stay," he placed a soft kiss to Anders' neck "I love you. No one and nothing can keep me away from you anymore, alright?"

Anders didn't answer to him, always reluctant to show his vulnerable and monophobic side even to the person he loved, he just ran a hand up the vampire's neck and tugged on his curls before he breathed out a "Move, now."

Mitchell started moving just like Anders wanted, but it was nothing rough and frantic, it was slow, deep, intimate and loving, so much that it actually made Anders' cheeks flush a darker shade of pink, and it made Mitchell grin because he knew it wasn't for the effort.

"You're gorgeous," Mitchell moaned softly against Anders' mouth.

"I know, twat," Anders groaned as he threw his head back and held Mitchell impossibly close.

Mitchell knew it was Anders' way to accept the compliment and actually give one in return when he was too overwhelmed by his feelings, so the vampire buried his face into the crook of Anders' neck as he thrusted deep within him. He smelled his hair, felt the warmth of his skin and remembered the taste of his blood, and for a moment the thought of trying it again crossed his mind, but all he did was plant a kiss on its soft skin.

Anders had tensed up slightly under Mitchell's mouth, it was like he had read the vampire's mind, feeling that he probably would have wanted to feed from him again and the thing was actually thrilling. Anders was both scared and curious, he didn't want Mitchell to snap and attack him randomly but there was something about being claimed like that and having his blood flowing into Mitchell's system that was just so tempting, not to mention arousing. But Anders didn't have much time to think about that, because Mitchell had started hitting that sweet spot within him over and over, washing away his thoughts and tearing all kinds of choked moans and eager little sounds from his throat as he dug his nails into Mitchell's shoulders.

Mitchell growled at the scrapes on his back, hips bucking somewhat faster and harder as he pressed his forehead against Anders' to cry out his warning "Oh Christ, I'm about to–" he chocked back a sob as he tried so hard to hold back his own orgasm.

Anders' toes curled and his hips arched off the bed "D-don't stop, fuck! I'm so close!" he was nearly yelling by that time.

"Not gonna!" Mitchell groaned in reassurance as he kept up his pace, even though he was seriously about to come undone himself, but luckily it only took Anders a couple more thrusts to fall apart underneath Mitchell, dragging the vampire right along with him as they both cried out each other's names. Mitchell glued his cold lips to Anders', and the frantic kiss lasted until their orgasms died down and they were nothing but a pile of shuddering, sweaty limbs.

"Fuck," Anders breathed out against Mitchell's mouth before he broke into an uncontrollable giggle fit that affected the vampire right away "I have no idea how I survived two months without all this." Anders shook his head and kissed Mitchell's forehead.

"Ah, don't ask me. I dunno, either," Mitchell shook his head as he levered himself up on his hands to pull out, but as soon as he tried to push his hips back a pair of hands gripped at them, stopping him.

"No, don't!" Anders cried out "Stay a bit longer," he smirked.

Mitchell chuckled and shook his head "We ain't going nowhere, babe," he grinned as he pressed a soft kiss to Anders lips.

The blond shrugged "Don't care. Stay."

Mitchell lingered inside Anders for as long as they could bear it, exchanging kisses and whispered nonsense until Mitchell finally pulled out and flopped heavily on his back. Anders stretched out his limbs, scratched his sweaty chest and used his discarded sweatpants to wipe up his stomach as a thought brewed in his mind.

"You know what we really need?"

Mitchell arched a brow and looked over at him "What?"

"A vacation," Anders announced with a nod, then tossed the pants at Mitchell, so he could clean himself too.

The vampire stared at him under furrowed brows for a while before he could actually speak "You think?" he began to rub his own stomach clean "We just got back together..."

"So?" Anders cocked a brow, then massaged softly his bandaged arm – he had definitely strained it.

Mitchell blinked as he tried to search for an answer, then he noticed how Anders was rubbing at his arm so he gently took it to examine the bite. "Well, I dunno?" he began as he unraveled the bandage.

"What? You don't wanna go away with me?" Anders deadpanned with a glare.

Mitchell sighed as he put the bandage back on "Of course I do! I just..." he rolled his eyes and looked up at Anders "What about your family? What about the quest?"

Anders growled, he wanted to claw his face out "I'm not exactly the most popular Johnson, these days, you know? And screw the motherfucking quest, dude!" he snorted "We suck at this finding-the-Frigg thing, if you still haven't noticed. And they've done without me for all this time, I'm pretty sure they can go another month without me."

Mitchell raised his brows "A month?" he blinked "You wanna go away for a month?"

"Hey, we gotta make up for lost time," Anders raised his eyebrows "or you prefer to go straight back to work _and_ have my family pestering us with godly shit now that we're back together?"

Mitchell didn't even think about it for a moment "Where are we going?"

Anders broke into a toothy grin "That's my vampire!"

–

That night Anders told Dawn that she could come to work later than usual, the morning after, but she needed to bring Ty with her too. She complained and asked too many questions, of course, but he really wasn't going to spill it out, he liked the look of shock on Dawn's face too much to miss that.

"How bad was she freaking out, on the phone?" Mitchell smirked as he stirred his coffee.

Anders left his iPhone on the nighstand and walked up to the couch to straddle Mitchell's lap "She was definitely about to burst a vein or something," he grinned as he snatched Mitchell's mug and took a sip of coffee "I'm pretty sure my brother will fuck her all better."

Mitchell grimaced "Jesus, Anders!"

"What? You a prude now?" Anders scowled as he gave him back the mug.

Mitchell raised both his eyebrows "Are you seriously asking me that? After how I fucked you this afternoon?" he sipped at his coffee.

Anders pursed his lips and shrugged a shoulder as he leaned in to brush his lips against Mitchell's "We can always improve," he purred right before slipping his tongue past Mitchell's lips.

Mitchell chuckled against Anders' mouth and kissed him back, deep and slow until Anders pulled back and rested his forehead against the vampire's.

"What if... What if we never find Frigg? Or what if we find her and something horrible happens?" Anders sighed as he reared back and ran his fingers through his hair "What if I don't become immortal and," he grimaced "I grow old and you stay like this, and then I die?"

Mitchell listened to Anders' concerned words with a deep frown, then moved to set the mug of coffee on the table "Hey, hey!" he cupped Anders' cheeks "We will find a solution when the time comes, alright?" he raised his eyebrows as he thumbed at Anders' cheekbones "What'd I tell you? We'll face our demons and overcome them, because we can make this work."

Anders licked his lips and let out a discomforted sigh "Promise me that if we'd run out of options you will turn me into a vampire."

Mitchell widened his eyes and shook his head "No, never. That's something I could never do, it would change you. You'd become cruel, and a blood addict," he pulled a face "I don't want you to be a monster like me."

Anders wrapped his fingers around Mitchell's wrists and gave them a firm squeeze "We'd be fine, Mitchell we–"

"We won't!" Mitchell cried "We'd be a couple of addicts who would just give in to our needs and–"

"Didn't you just say that we can overcome all our demons, if we're together?"Anders cut in with an arched eyebrow.

Mitchell huffed and rested his head back against the couch "Only if there was nothing else that we could do, then we'd think about it." he sighed.

"Thank you," Anders cupped Mitchell's cheek, but the vampire frowned.

"I don't wanna curse you, Anders."

Anders leaned in to peck at his lips "It's okay, let's not think about it, eh?" Mitchell nodded, and Anders smirked "We're going to Paris, tomorrow. We're such a disgusting, horrible, pathetic, sappy cliché!"

Mitchell laughed and wrapped his arms around Anders' neck "I think we deserve to be a fucking cliché, after all we've gone through."

Anders nodded "True that," he kissed Mitchell's lips again and sighed "with you I'd do so many things that have never even crossed my mind before, things I'd never would have wanted to do with anyone else."

Mitchell looked up at Anders with such a huge grin that the god was surprised his face didn't split in two "Well you've asked me to move in with you, to be your boyfriend, you told me you love me, we're going to Paris... Don't tell me you're ready to get married and have a baby!"

Anders' eyes widened and his cheeks flushed red, instead of paling "Fuck off, I've never said that! Don't put words in my mouth!"

Mitchell's grin turned devious as he cocked a brow "Well, by the way you put it..." he shrugged a shoulder.

Anders looked away "Don't put me on a leash," he muttered.

Mitchell raised his hands defensively "Hey, I didn't say anything! You're doing everything by yourself!"

Anders squeezed his eyes shut and groaned in frustration "Okay! Yes! Maybe I am! But not anytime soon!"

Mitchell bit back a victorious grin and nodded, trying to appear casual and uninterested "Okay, cool."

Anders looked at him furious "Cool? That's all you have to say?"

Mitchell couldn't help but laugh really hard at that reaction "Jesus Christ, Anders! Calm down!" he grabbed his face and kissed the air out of his lungs, pulling back only to whisper "I'd love to be your husband and have a kid with you, when the time comes."

Anders blushed even harder, but mixed with the embarrassment there was something else "The thought of marriage and children would have normally made me impotent, but right now I have the biggest boner I could ever get!" he groaned against Mitchell's lips.

"Holy fuck!" the vampire laughed and shook his head "I can feel that!" Mitchell said as he briefly glanced down at Anders' bulge pressing against his lower stomach.

"It's just... The way you said that, I'm still scared of those things, I wouldn't really get hard over–" Anders rambled until he felt Mitchell's hand palming at his crotch "Fuck..." he breathed out.

"Stop talking about that, I already know exactly what you mean," Mitchell smirked as he slowly rubbed Anders' clothed bulge.

"You so turned me into a proper wuss," Anders moaned as he rested his brow against Mitchell's.

"Are you ever gonna accept that it's okay to show me your soft side?" Mitchell's hand sneaked past the waistband of Anders' sweatpants, wrapping his fingers around the blond's erection.

"The only soft side I'll ever eagerly show you it's my arse," Anders chuckled as his hips rocked into Mitchell's hand.

"You wanker," Mitchell smirked as he began to pump his fist inside Anders' boxers.

Anders tipped his head back with a soft groan "Said the guy with my dick in his hand." Mitchell chuckled before running his tongue over Anders' throat, and the blond couldn't help but growl out softly "Bite me again."

Mitchell didn't really get what he meant at first, so he just innocently nipped at the soft flesh of Anders' neck, taking his time to suck a mark on it as his hand kept working steadily between the god's legs.

"No, _really_ bite me! Drink my blood," Anders groaned in annoyance as he kept bucking into Mitchell's fist.

The vampire stopped and reared back to look at Anders' in the eye "Why would you ask that?" he didn't know if he was more angry, hurt or disappointed by that request, yet he could hear a feeble voice in the back of his head telling him how erotic it would have been.

Anders whined at the lack of friction and let his eyes roll into the back of his skull "Because nothing bad happened, last night! And it was actually–" he smirked crookedly at the vampire "Pretty damn hot."

Mitchell clenched his jaw "It's not funny, Anders. It's dangerous and it's the thing I'm trying to stop doing! Don't encourage my problem like this!"

It was like Anders lucidity had come back to him all of a sudden, like he was suddenly splashed with freezing cold water. He perked up and blinked a few times before shaking his head "You're right, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you that."

Mitchell ran his tongue between his lips and looked down at his hand buried into Anders' pants "It... Would be hot, though," then he focused back on Anders' eyes "but fucking dangerous. The last thing I want is lust over your blood and end up killing you in the heat of the moment!"

Anders bit his lower lip and placed both hands on Mitchell's shoulders, bracing himself as he started to fuck the vampire's hand with the most devious expression he could pull. "I want you to lust over my entire being," he purred as his hooded eyes bore into Mitchell's.

Mitchell groaned and tightened his fingers around Anders' cock, feeling his precome oozing over the back of his hand. "Not your blood, Anders, please," he shook his head "please don't ask this."

Anders ducked his head to lick the salt off Mitchell's neck, then whispered into Mitchell's ear "How about... I offer you my blood once a month, to soothe your withdrawals and have amazingly hot, bloodplay sex?"

Mitchell gulped and shivered at the contact, his eyes fell shut but he couldn't help the words abandoning his mouth "That sounds like you'd offer me your period blood."

Anders' hips stilled and he reared back to look at Mitchell dead in the eye. They stared at each other in silence for no more than six seconds, though it actually felt like a lifetime, and when the seventh second struck they simultaneously started laughing so hard that they actually had to hold onto each other not to fall off the couch.

"Y-you're a f-fucking arsehole!" Anders wheezed with his forehead pressed against the back of the couch.

"I-I'm not the one who said that I wanted to give you my blood once a month!" Mitchell barked out as his free hand was resting onto his contracting abdomen, before he finally pulled the other one out of Anders' sweatpants.

After a while, when their laughter had finally simmered down to giggling, Anders was pressed flush against Mitchell with his cheek resting on his shoulder, the thought of sex had left his mind but his smile was still plastered on his lips. Mitchell was still smiling, too, while his clean hand was drawing nonsense on Anders' back, he sucked in a content breath and placed a soft kiss to Anders' hair.

"You're all warm, like a sleepy puppy," the vampire spoke softly and Anders could hear the smile in his voice "let's go to bed."

Anders groaned "I don't wanna move, I'm comfortable like this." he whined as he felt himself definitely starting to drift off.

"Then I'll just carry you to bed," Mitchell shrugged a shoulder, expecting Anders' man pride to throw an insult and a witty remark at him, but none of that happened.

"Knock yourself out," Anders mumbled as he let his eyes fall shut.

Mitchell raised an eyebrow "Seriously? You're just gonna let me carry you to bed?" Anders hummed in response as he nuzzled the crook of Mitchell's neck and shoulder.

"You big baby," Mitchell teased as he kissed the top of Anders head, then shifted and maneuvered him until he was able to stand up and carry his boyfriend to the bedroom. Anders was doing a poor job at holding back his laughter the whole time, and Mitchell could feel his shoulders quiver and hear the muffled noises he made, so when they reached the bed Mitchell dropped him none too gently on the mattress on purpose.

"Ugh, you're an arsehole!" Anders whined as he glared up at his boyfriend "And stop smirking!"

"You wanna have a baby with me!" Mitchell singsonged as he shuffled out of his track pants.

Anders groaned and covered his face with both hands "We can barely look after ourselves, how could we look after a needy, screaming, pooping monster?"

Mitchell pursed his lips and tilted his head because his boyfriend definitely had a point, still he sneaked under the covers and watched as Anders did the same. "Believe me, I wouldn't want one right now either, I still wanna enjoy a lot of time with you, just the two of us."

Anders rolled on his side to face Mitchell with a relieved sigh "For a moment there I thought you had suddenly grown ovaries and were begging to be fertilized."

Mitchell raised his eyebrows "That's kinda sexist."

Anders grimaced "Yeah, you're right... Well I just thought that you had turned into one of those people obsessing over having a kid as soon as possible."

Mitchell sniggered and cupped Anders chin "Babe, I've been around for nearly 120 years, now. Kids were things I thought about when I was a teenager, and war and Herrick still hadn't ruined life for me." he placed a soft kiss to Anders lips and added "I can wait, believe me. I'm only starting to live, now." then he shrugged a shoulder "Plus I'm a vampire, not really father material."

Anders listened to him while slowly and absentmindedly running his fingers through Mitchell's curls, he pursed his lips as he tried to imagine a really young Mitchell still cheerful and carefree, and the thought simultaneously broke and warmed his heart. "I will play my part in this, I'll make sure we'll be alright too," he nodded as he tucked a strand of wavy hair behind Mitchell's ear "you perfectly know how much you mean to me, and fuck... Just look at me!" he raised his eyebrows "Do I look like a dad to you?"

Mitchell couldn't keep a bitter smile from tugging at his lips "You can be my daddy if you want?"

Anders snorted with a crooked smirk "You dick."

Mitchell pressed a hard kiss to Anders' lips, then thumbed at his cheek "We still got a huge way to go, I might never be trusted around kids but," he broke into one of his huge, trademark grins "it's very nice that you actually take certain things into consideration. It means a lot."

Anders rolled his eyes "Yeah, great. Splendid. Now drop the pants, so I can fuck your brains out."

Mitchell groaned at the mood killing "Jesus, Anders!" he was about to flip on his other side, but Anders was quicker and slid on top of him, pinning his arms over his head "You're an arse," Mitchell grumbled as he glared up at him.

Anders raised his eyebrows "Yet you still love me. Funny, eh?"

Mitchell sighed "Unfortunately," he shrugged a shoulder.

"That's actually rude," Anders tilted his head and as he watched the shit eating grin spread on Mitchell's lips he leaned in to kiss it away nice and slow, taking his sweet time to savor every inch of Mitchell's mouth.

"You're the rudest," Mitchell sighed against Anders' lips before pecking at them one last time "We should really sleep, it's gonna be a long, long day tomorrow."

Anders rolled off of Mitchell, but rested his head on his shoulder and slung a leg over the vampire's "Guess I'll fuck you in Paris, then."

Mitchell bit his lower lip "Well... It's gonna take like a year to get there, we could always relieve some stress on the plane," he smirked and squeezed Anders' arm "you know, stretch our legs, take a walk..."

Anders licks his lips "Are you actually suggesting we shag on the plane?" Mitchell pursed his lips and shrugged, causing Anders to growl and bury his face against his neck "This is why I'm gonna marry you!"

"What a twat!" Mitchell laughed as he wrapped his arms around Anders and pressed his lips hard to his forehead. They kept chuckling and kissing lazily until they both drifted off to sleep in the blissful and serene atmosphere that had abandoned them months ago.

–

The morning after Anders was so quick to switch off the alarm on his phone that he thought he could have accidentally flung it across the room, but luckily it didn't happen, and when he looked over to the vampire lying beside him he was glad to see that he was still asleep. Anders slid underneath the covers and woke Mitchell up in his trademark way, with a slow, sleepy blow job that had the vampire groan awake, flustered but definitely pleased as he spilled his release all too soon inside Anders' mouth.

"S-stake to the heart m-my arse... You'll kill me with that mouth of yours, one day or another." Mitchell cried as he watched Anders get up from the bed and loose his clothes "What are you–?" Mitchell furrowed his brows as he watched the god walk out of the bedroom.

"I need a shower," Anders turned around to smirk at him "care to join me?" Mitchell's reaction was very vampiric-fast, but the way in which he got tangled into the sheets and tumbled awfully to the floor had Anders bent in a half in hysterics as he held onto the doorjamb for dear life.

"You wanker, stop laughing!" Mitchell growled as he rubbed the side of his head and his knee, but of course Anders didn't stop until Mitchell eventually stood up and pushed him into the bathroom.

Useless to say that in the shower Mitchell returned Anders the favor in the form of two fingers shoved so deep inside the blond that Mitchell's lips around his cock didn't even have to work that thoroughly, since Anders came so violently that Mitchell had to steady him with his free hand or else he would have collapsed onto the shower tray. Of course there had been a reason for Anders to tell Dawn to come in late for work, morning sex after two months apart from each other was mandatory.

–

It had definitely been a surprise for Dawn and Ty to walk into JPR to find Anders lying on the couch with his head in Mitchell's lap.

"Mitchell?" Ty scowled, stopping a few feet away from the couch.

Mitchell broke into a brilliant grin "Hey guys!"

"Oh God, you're back together!" Dawn nearly collapsed against Ty's side "I couldn't stand my zombie boss anymore!"

Mitchell laughed throwing his head back, while Anders sat up "That's harsh! I wasn't a zombie!"

Ty arched a brow "He's right, he was just the biggest drunk, rude arsehole on the planet."

Dawn nodded at her boyfriend's words "That's true, he was horrible this past couple of months."

"Oi! Don't forget that I could fire you!" Anders threatened with creased brows. A moment of silence followed, then the others bursted out laughing really hard at his words.

"You couldn't survive a week without Dawn!" Ty shook his head as he wrapped an arm around Dawn's shoulders.

"A week? He couldn't survive a day!" Dawn corrected him as they all kept laughing.

"Alright, shut up now! I will not take this any longer!" Anders groaned as Mitchell pressed a kiss to his temple.

"Don't be pissed off, it's the truth," Mitchell shrugged with a smile.

"You're my boyfriend, you're supposed to back me up!" Anders cried as he stood up from the couch to walk between Dawn and Ty and his desk, resting back against it.

"Don't be dramatic, Anders!" Dawn sighed as she folded her arms across her chest "So, why did you ask me to bring Ty along?"

Anders, still sulking, just glared over at her "You gotta take over the company for a month," he shrugged a shoulder "more or less."

Dawn widened her eyes "What? No, there's no way you're doing this again. You already did it when you went to Norway, you can't leave me again!" she cried as she freed herself from Ty's arm "And I will not have anyone else bossing me around like Agnetha did!"

Anders scoffed and rolled his eyes "There will be no Agnetha, not anyone else! It'll be just you, you know exactly what to do 'cause, let's face it – You're the Pepper Potts to my Tony Stark!"

Dawn blinked, completely puzzled "What?"

"That doesn't sound right," Ty deadpanned as he glared at his brother.

"Um, hello? I got my very own hot boyfriend over there," Anders jerked his thumb in Mitchell's direction "I just meant that you're my assistant, and you're just as good as I am at this job!"

Dawn let out a sarcastic huff of air "Minus the Bragi thing."

"Power, not _thing_," Anders grimaced "but anyway, all you need to do is just do the usual stuff with our clients and then set me up with a phone call or something when there's a potential client and I'll work my magic in the blink of an eye."

Mitchell smirked "Yeah, and don't forget to mention that they'll have to call to Paris, so you know... Costs and time zones," he shrugged.

"You're going to Paris?" Dawn asked in a proper shocked tone.

Anders shrugged "So?"

Dawn couldn't help but press her palm against Anders' forehead "Are you ill?" Ty and Mitchell couldn't hold back the sniggers, but Dawn kept going "I seriously can't–" she turned to Mitchell "How did you do that?"

The vampire shrugged "Glamoured him with my Dracula _thing_?"

"You're a bunch of dicks," Anders grumbled as he moved Dawn's hand away from his forehead "and yes, we need a break from all the shit we went through, so we go to fucking Paris. Whether you like it or not." Mitchell grinned proudly at his boyfriend's words.

"So I'm supposed to deliver the news to the rest of the family or... We're having a reunion or something?" Ty asked, a thick brow raising quizzically.

"You'll be the messenger, Tyrone. Hopefully they won't kill you." Anders smirked.

"We're leaving tonight," Mitchell shrugged a shoulder "sorry about the short notice, but it happened all very fast."

Ty ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated "I'm sure they won't like this."

Anders scoffed "I don't know if you noticed, Ty, but I'm not exactly a rockstar amongst the rest of the Johnsons," he cocked his head "pretty sure they'll do just fine without me."

Had the situation been different, both Ty and Dawn would have joked about it, but they had seen the terrible time Anders had gone through and they couldn't really blame him and Mitchell for wanting some peace and quiet.

"Thank you for choosing to tell us," Ty nodded.

"Only 'cause you're my assistant's boyfriend," Anders shrugged a shoulder "she just needed to know that she'll be the boss for a while," he explained, failing to bite back a grin.

"What an arsehole," Ty grunted as he turned to kiss Dawn and leave.

"No, no, no! Where do you think you're going?" Anders frowned as he called him out.

Mitchell had got up himself to stand beside Anders with his arms crossed on his chest "Ty! I know you probably think I'm a shit friend... But I still love you."

Dawn smiled softly and bit her lower lip as she let out a small 'aww', whereas Anders turned to glare daggers at Mitchell who just shrugged. Ty was Mitchell's friend and had been there for him during some pretty awful times, while Mitchell always seemed to just disappear.

Ty stopped, rooted to the spot as he sucked in a breath and turned to look at Mitchell "You better bring me back something nice from Paris, or I'll freeze your arse."

Mitchell and Anders laughed at that and Anders waved his hand "Don't worry, we'll get you something nice from Pigalle."

Dawn blushed violently and clenched her fists "Don't you dare!" she snarled, making the couple laugh again.

"Come on, we all got stuff to do now. Those clothes won't pack themselves," Anders nudged Mitchell, and they both walked past Ty to get to the door.

"Shall I... Sit in your chair?" Dawn asked as she tentatively took a seat behind Anders' desk, knowing just how much it irritated him.

Anders felt his left eyebrow twitch as he turned around, squinting at Dawn sitting in his chair "That's fine," he shrugged a shoulder "my boyfriend fucked yours once!"

Dawn froze, while Ty nearly launched himself at his brother and Mitchell had to take Anders out of the way and quickly push him out of the office and slam the door behind them.

"What a prick! Why did you do that?" Mitchell cried as he followed a snickering Anders out of the building.

"She provoked me first! It was only natural to reply to that," Anders shrugged as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

"She's gonna hate me now," Mitchell whined, hanging his head.

"She'll get over it," Anders bumped shoulders with him "you should be more worried that I could hate you."

Mitchell arched a brow and suddenly stopped "Why did you have to bring this up?"

Anders sighed and grabbed Mitchell by the wrist "Hey," he looked up at him with knitted brows "it's fine, we're fine. You know how I am! I just felt the need to piss her off!"

Mitchell rolled his eyes "Of course you did. That was definitely necessary."

Anders threw his head back as he groaned in frustration "Can we just think about us going to Paris and have a great time together, huh?"

Mitchell pursed his lips and nodded "'Kay..."

"Good, now let's go," Anders pushed the front door of the building open and walked up to the SUV with Mitchell.

Later that night, Mitchell and Anders had been watching Serendipity on the plane for twenty minutes when Anders yanked his earbuds out of his ears with a growl.

"Fuck this movie, I'll never get a boner again if I keep watching it!"

Mitchell took out his earbuds too with a smirk "Think I'd allow you to become impotent just like that?" then he leaned in to whisper in Anders' ear "You wanna go, try one of the toilets?"

Anders felt himself stir in pants at these mere words, the swallowed thickly and turned his head to whisper against Mitchell's lips "God, yes." he cut the distance between them, kissing Mitchell hot and slow, lust quickly pooling down in his lower stomach.

Mitchell pulled back with a lazy grin and stood up to retrieve the small bottle lube from his hand luggage, pushing it inside his pocket while everyone was too busy to even notice "I'll wait for you," he winked as he strutted down the plane to reach the toilet.

Anders bit his lower lip as he stared at those glorious legs and butt of his clad in a pair of tight black jeans "I'm so marrying the fuck out of him, someday," he grinned to himself as he saw Mitchell stepping into the lavatory, and on the count of twenty he stood up to join him.

* * *

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain _

_**The End.**_


End file.
